


Sonny's Secret and Spenser's Surprise

by Nicnag



Category: SEAL Team (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-07-29 03:17:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 45,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20075245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicnag/pseuds/Nicnag
Summary: Sonny dated a man at the beginning of his military career in secret, but Marcus died years ago and Sonny has never found anyone he felt was anywhere close to the man he lost, until now. It’s been a year since Clay joined Bravo and Sonny hopes he’s not off target with the Kid’s sexuality. Despite the changes in the military, it was still a taboo topic. No one outside of his team and Blackburn know he is gay. He knows Clay has been with a woman, he just hopes he’s also into men. If he’s wrong, this could disrupt their team and ruin their friendship.





	1. The Secret is Out

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure how to tag people but Jewelbaby had mentioned a relationship between Clay and Sonny, I had one already in the works but decided to now make it a chapter story.

Chapter 1: The Secret is Out

Blackburn steeled himself for Sonny’s response when he told him he couldn’t approve his time off request for May 5 this year like he had been able to every other year while he was under Eric’s command. Eric thought for sure the volatile hot head weapons specialist would blow his top but instead, he hung his head like a kid who just lost his puppy and went back to his cage. The look of bewilderment present on Eric’s face caused all the others to turn their gaze towards Sonny who was now sitting on his foot locker, head in his hands. 

Clay started to ask what was going on, but Jason had instinctively known their rookie would be full of questions so he put his hand on Clay’s shoulder to quiet him. Ray, a man who was never unsure, debated the length of the room whether to enter Sonny’s cage. Ray announced he was ‘coming in’ as Sonny’s back was to him. The last thing he needed to do was startle Sonny. 

“Hey man, hey I’m gonna sit down. You need me, tell me.” Ray sat across from his teammate with his back against the chain mesh and feet spread out in front of him. Eric turned to head out the door, but not before telling Sonny how sorry he was. Jason again squeezed Clay’s shoulder as the confusion was still evident on his face, if not more so after hearing his Commander apologizing. The word “sorry” isn’t something that is said by Navy men, especially from a higher up. 

Jason knew Clay and Sonny had become close the last 10 months, but there are some things that never come up in conversation until they have to, especially when ’feelings’ are involved. It was evident this was one of those times. Jason, also a man who was never unsure, debated whether to tell Clay himself or let Sonny tell him what everyone else in the room already knew. He decided on the former given how emotional he knew Sonny was going to be. Brock sent Cerberus to Sonny before he and Trent left the room to give Sonny some space with Ray. 

Jason shouldered Clay from behind to follow the two teammates. Once they were down the hall, Jason knocked on Eric’s office door. When he saw the two in the doorway, he gave them the room and exited. Clay’s confusion was growing by the second, but he didn’t dare speak first. What he just witnessed he had never expected for a multitude of reasons. Jason sat on the edge of Blackburn’s desk as Clay took the chair. 

This conversation was going to be both hard and awkward, but might as well get both topics out of the way Jason decided. He knew Sonny wouldn’t be upset. He might actually be relieved he wasn’t the one who had to tell Clay since he didn’t have a way with words.

“Has Sonny ever mentioned Marcus before?”

“No, is he from Texas?” Clay asked, his interest piquing. 

“Marcus and Sonny went to high school together and both enlisted in the Navy after graduation. They spent the first year together in Basics before Sonny was sent to BUD/S. 4 months after that, Marcus was killed in a training accident.” 

Jason stopped as he knew Clay’s heart was in his throat thinking of his own friend Brian who was killed just a few months before he joined Bravo. Jason could see the pain Clay had in his eyes for Sonny knowing what it felt like to lose someone in a military accident.

“I guess Sonny hit the bottle hard and almost got kicked out before Mel, Marcus’s younger sister, set him right. Told him that he was the one still alive and he owed it to Marcus to become the best damn SEAL he could. Sonny got straightened out and every year since, he goes back to Texas over May 5 if he can.” 

Clay broke in making sure Jason was talking about “their” Sonny. “Sonny Quinn sentimental?” Jason nodded his head before speaking again. 

“Yeah, I couldn’t believe it either. I got upset when he pitched a fit the first year he was on Bravo before I knew why.” It was evident to Clay he wasn’t getting the whole story. 

“We’ve all lost friends, we know the schedule with what we do, it seems like Blackburn is bending over backwards trying to make it happen. I mean, I wish Sonny could go but I don’t get why this is any different.” Jason took no offense because if the roles were reversed, he’d want to know why this situation was being dealt with differently. However, this was the second half of the conversation he was uncomfortable having. 

The guys hated having to talk about themselves so they rarely divulged info, especially about one of their brothers, but Jason continued on. He knew Clay may feel hurt knowing nothing about Marcus given how close to the two had become. 

“Sonny masquerades he’s not ready to settle down with anyone, you know that. What you don’t know is that Sonny had wanted to settle down with someone at the start of his Navy career, but back then we had different rules.” Jason could see the wheels turning in Clay’s head. 

“Marcus was more than a friend to Sonny,” Clay stated as he pieced things together. “May 5th must be the anniversary of Marcus’s death isn’t it?” Jason just nodded as he let Clay think things through. Jason expected him to be taken aback by finding out Sonny was gay but he wasn’t. 

“All these years he’s been ‘living the single life’ he’s just been trying to hide his pain.” Clay let the gravity of Jason’s comment settle before either said anything else. 

“Sonny was more hell bent on getting to Texas this year than ever before, but I don’t know why this time is different. He made a comment the day he put the request in, but I didn’t press him on. He said up until lately he thought he’d never find anyone who he felt measured up to the man he lost, but as far as I know he hasn’t met anyone new. Outside of Bravo team, Blackburn and Davis, no one else knows Sonny isn’t straight. He does a damn good job of hiding it. We’ve told him it doesn’t matter to any of us on the team, and it doesn’t, but he doesn’t want to deal with the judgment from the higher ups because we all know that despite being told it shouldn’t matter, it still does to many in this profession.”

“Sonny wanted me to go with him next time he went home, to meet his family.” Clay didn’t understand how he going with Sonny had anything to do with Sonny being gay. Now it was Jason’s turn to piece things together even though it was evident Clay was just as shocked about this part of the conversation as he was. It was becoming clear it was about more than just getting back to Texas on a certain day. 

“You know I can’t ask you and it doesn’t matter to me, but you can tell me,” Jason urged Clay. Clay knew he was talking about his sexual orientation. People naturally assumed he was straight since he had been with Stella, but he’d never been with a woman before her. It was an attempt to be bi-sexual, to see if he could live his life with a woman, but he couldn’t. 

He never thought he’d ever have to have this conversation with his team leader because it was something he tucked deep down and was willing to be lonely before anyone else knew. Instead of strip clubs to defer attention like Sonny does, Clay chooses to tell others he is hyper focused on his career. Obviously he hadn’t kept Sonny from figuring it out. If he knew, who else did?

“I didn’t know Sonny was gay til now. I didn’t know he figured out that I was too. I had hoped I could be content with a woman, have the whole white picket fence dream….” Clay trailed off, realizing it was going to be in Texas that Sonny was going to tell him he was gay. 

If Clay was going to be honest with himself, he had to admit he was attracted to Sonny. He never thought a brash Texan more than a decade older than him would be his ‘type’ but there was something about him that made Clay excited whenever he was around him despite Clay thinking he was straight.

“I’m going to talk to Harrington, see if I can figure out a way to get the time off, whatever I have to do,” Jason told Clay who was still lost deep in his thoughts. This trip to Texas could be the start of a new dream for two of his teammates. Before he left the room, he took Clay’s chin in his hand and tilted his face up. The team leader’s entire focus was on the rookie before him. 

“Kid, this changes nothing you hear? I know other team leaders would judge you, but I need you to know that I won’t, none of us on Bravo will. Eric won’t either.” It hadn’t occurred to Clay that Eric needed to know now that Sonny had wanted Clay to go with him. Jason could see the panic rise in Clay’s eyes. 

“I can tell Blackburn, I did for Sonny,” Jason reassured Clay as he patted him on the shoulder before leaving the office in search of Harrington. As he shut the door behind him, Jason couldn’t help but think “matchmaker” wasn’t on the duty list for Bravo team leader.


	2. Spenser Responds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clay now knows Sonny isn't straight, the two teammates finally have a chance to talk, what will Spensers reaction be?

When Clay entered the cages, Sonny was alone. Clay heard him clear his throat and he saw him swipe at his eyes when he realized he was no longer alone. With his back still to his cage door, he spoke to Clay. 

“This isn’t how I wanted to tell you. I didn’t want to be messed up over Marcus’s death.” Clay had never heard Sonny be so open with his “feels” as he calls them. 

Clay sat down next to Sonny who was now on the floor resting his back against the cage with his feet drawn up and arms encircling his knees. Clay sat shoulder to shoulder with Sonny as the older man got his emotions under control. Clay tipped his head towards Sonny’s. 

“Damnit Clay, why did we have to pick you? I’m feeling things I never thought I’d feel again.” Clay knew Sonny wasn’t mad at him, just his way to express his frustration of not being in control of his feelings. 

Before Clay had a chance to respond, the door swung open and the entire team entered, including Blackburn. Clay felt his face flush as he got to his feet. Sonny pulled himself back up to his foot locker but kept his head down. Even though the Texan knew everyone knew what he was dealing with, he still didn’t want them to see his red rimmed eyes. 

“Sonny, I can’t get you to Texas May 4-6 liked you requested.” 

“I know Sir, thank you for trying.” 

Jason spoke up next, “because the Commander got all of us a ride on an aircraft to Texas for May 2-9. We are doing a week long class for the new graduates at Fort Hood, educating them on what we do.” 

Sonny looked up in disbelief. It was hard to gage whether it was from the shock of now being able to go to Texas or the fact that his Boss had not only agreed to be in the same room as Army soldiers, but actually do a class instructing them. 

“Pack your things, we are leaving in 4 hours for a spin up, pack for Texas too if you can, going to be a tight time frame,” Eric told the pair in the cages before heading out to do what he just told his men to do. 

“How the hell, Jason?” Sonny stammered. 

“Harrington almost fell out of his chair when Eric and I offered, we knew we had to give him something to make it happen.” Sonny was on his feet with his hand extended to his team leader to thank him. Jason took his hand then pulled him into a hug. Rarely was Bravo 3 at a loss for words.

Mid flight, the men gathered round a make shift table made from totes. This was just a flight shuttling servicemen and equipment so what they are used to wasn’t available. Jason handed them each a small binder with details on how the class would go for the next 5 days. Sonny noticed immediately he and Clay weren’t listed on the agenda til the last 2 days. Ray was covering everything sniper related and Jason was taking on explosives and weaponry. 

“Boss, I can—“ was all Sonny got out before Jason cut him off. 

“You and Clay take the next 3 days with your family. Be on base 2100-0600 is all I ask, base security shuts down at 2200, it will take a call to the CO to get back inside the wire.” 

“Sure thing Boss,” Clay spoke for both Sonny and he. 

The man of few words was the next to speak. “We’d like to meet your family if we could, same with Marcus’s sister Mel.” Sonny gave the dog handler a big grin and told everyone his mom would make them a proper Texas bbq and Mel would make the best cherry cobbler any of them had ever eaten. The guys were glad to see a smile back on Sonny’s face. 

First day of training, the team did PT together before Sonny and Clay headed to the Quinn homestead about an hour away from base. Sonny’s sister had offered to drive them back and forth, but Sonny had wanted some alone time with Clay. The two hadn’t talked about what was quickly becoming the elephant in the room, or car, so to speak. They had been spun up just hours after Clay learned about Sonny and Marcus which only left them half a day to pack for this trip. While on the mission, there was never an opportunity to talk always surrounded by the team and support staff, plus in truth, neither wanted to discuss any of this while on a C-17 or while taking down an HVT. Jason hadn’t found a time yet either to talk with Brock, Trent, Ray and Eric about what he had been given permission by Clay to tell them.

Sonny didn’t know that Clay and Jason had talked about anything more than his past with Marcus. He wasn’t aware that the two had put together that there was more to this trip back home for him. At this point, he doesn’t know that Clay is expecting him to reveal anything more to him. 

Clay was beginning to think that he and Jason had it wrong. Maybe they jumped to conclusions simply because both Clay and Sonny happen to be gay. Was Clay wishfully thinking that Sonny was into him or was it really just about asking his best friend to go back to Texas to honor the fallen and spend time with the family? Clay didn’t realize he mumbled, “Shit,” while lost in his all too consuming thoughts, his heart racing.

“What’s that Blondie?” Sonny asked from the driver’s seat, glad for the break in the tension, or so he thought it was a break. Clay tried to recover and feign knocking his elbow on the door when Sonny had taken a corner, but Clay is a pretty bad liar. It’s something Sonny has grown to love about the Rookie. When Clay gets flustered, he flashes that million dollar smile and Sonny can’t possibly hold him responsible for whatever stupid thing he just tried to say. 

“Well, the good thing is is when I tell you what I’m about to, I will know if you are okay with it or not since you can’t lie to save your skin.”

“Hey, I can lie when I literally need to save my skin, just not any other time. Get that straight,” Clay responded. 

There it was again. That flash of a smile, hint of deviance in his piercing blue eyes below the mop of curls the Kid calls hair. The impossible innocence Clay still holds despite his upbringing and what he has seen and done as a Tier One SEAL is incomprehensible. He can find enthusiasm and joy in even the most mundane, simple aspects of life. Sonny forgets at times that he didn’t have a typical upbringing after his parents split; his dad was never around and then he was shipped off to Liberia to his grandparents who worked in a mission. Going to Mikey’s hockey games, attending Jameelah’s school plays, helping Emma move for college Sonny can see Clay imagining what life could have been like had he had a normal and stable childhood. It tears his heart in two to see, but had Clay not been raised the way he was, he may have never grown into the man he is now. 

Sonny cleared his throat numerous times before Clay handed him a bottle of water from his bag. After Trent, Clay was usually the most prepared. 

“Where did that come from?” Sonny asked incredulously, admonishing himself for not paying more attention as to what all they brought with them from the base. SEAL 101- Even when not in a work environment, you always take stock.

“Came from my pack…..you may store yours in your leg pouch,” Clay playfully bantered, knowing just how to get Sonny going.

“You know, I only gave you my advice because Jason told me to watch your Rookie ass on our first deployment, might I remind you,” Sonny drawled back, remembering when the two of them nearly came to blows over where to store an item.

“You know that’s where I store them now, right?” the way Clay said it stopped all the light hearted banter. It’s not about the exact words a person uses to make a profound statement, it’s who says them and why. This was a strong sign of respect because when seconds count or people die, where you store things is a top priority and highly personal. Sonny tried to talk over the lump forming in his throat. 

“I uh….I didn’t….I didn’t know you made…the change.”

“I realized I was being a dick, before I learned that I didn’t have to try to prove that I belonged on the team.” 

There it was again. That vulnerability, that lack of self confidence, that burning desire to belong that still gets misread by those outside of Bravo as cockiness and inflated ego. Sonny misread the Kid, they all did. Knowing he was Ash Spensers son made him more insufferable, but the team didn’t know the reason he pushed so hard to “best” them was because he was trying to show that not only was he good enough to belong, he did it despite his dads reputation. Those who thought he was riding his dads coattails despite Ash’s PNG status eventually learned that Clay wanted nothing to do with his dad aside from taking his last name and putting it back into the good graces of the Navy. Ash was a damn fine operator, one of the best and still held records even over Jason, so despite the status, they felt Clay had an advantage given who his father. That may be true. Clay may have never pursued the career or fought like hell to be better if his dad hadn’t been a SEAL.

Sonny and Clay were almost to their destination when Sonny pulled over. He needed to get off his chest all the thoughts swirling around in his brain. Clay wasn’t taken aback by Sonny’s first comment. 

“You tried to make it work with Stella so you wouldn’t be alone didn’t you?” 

Sonny pressed forward as Spenser remained silent, his blue eyes looking away from Sonny as if he had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. 

“Clay, I, uh…I wanted to tell you….long before this…that I wasn’t into women, not like I made it seem….I didn’t want you to….to think any differently of me…you know?” Sonny’s eyes crinkled up in that sheepish way he had begun to perfect.

It was Sonny’s turn to look away, his heart now beating out of his chest afraid he has made a mistake revealing himself this way to Clay. He knew he could be attracted to Clay and never act on it, even though he wanted to so he had talked himself out of this conversation so many times in the past that he had lost count. Clay can’t keep it to himself that he knows more than Sonny thinks he does. It’s not fair to keep Sonny twisting in the wind trying to find his words.

“Sonny, Jason told me what you had said about finding someone recently. He had no idea that you had wanted me to go with you to Texas when he said it. We both realized what was going on at the same time when I told him I was gay, too.” Sonny turned back to Clay. 

“If you aren’t interested, just tell me….. forget I ever brought it up……I don’t know what I was thinking…I shouldn’t have said anything.” Sonny went to put the vehicle back in drive but stopped when he felt Clay slide closer to him and put his hand on Sonny’s thigh. 

“Do you realize you just asked if I was interested in you, decided I wasn’t, and decided it was a bad idea to even say anything without even letting me respond?” Clay asked, a twinkle in his eye. 

“Sonny, you were right about Stella, but there was more to it. I uh, I didn’t want to disappoint the team. Didn’t want you to think less of me because I wasn’t straight. Tried to prove I could have it ‘all’ but then I got to know you guys. Got to know…got to know that none of you would care.”

“Everything you felt, Clay, that’s how I felt too when I joined the military. That’s why Marcus and I kept it a secret. I care what you all think.” Sonny laughed when he saw Clay’s mouth drop hearing Sonny say he cared what others thought.

“Okay, so I don’t usually care what people think but with something like this, I do.” Sonny’s vulnerability made Clay’s heart skip a beat, several beats actually.

Clay, with one hand still on Sonny’s thigh, leaned in and lightly pressed his lips against the Texans, closing his eyes. Clay felt Sonny’s arm reach around him and cup the back of his head pulling him in closer. What started as a light kiss ended with the two breathless sitting on the side of the road just a few miles from their destination. Clay, always the clever one, asked “Is that a good enough answer?” Then he smiled bashfully and went in for a second time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've rewritten this chapter over and over still not 100% satisfied but needed to get this part out so I can keep going on what else I have written for future chapters. Felt I couldn't quite write things how I envisioned in my mind.


	3. No More Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason tells the guys that Clay isn't straight, the team responds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter to finish laying the groundwork for the rest of the story

It was 1800 on the first day of training for Bravo. The team had just gotten food from the mess hall and retired to their temporary bunkhouse. Clay and Sonny were on their way back so Jason figured this would be the best opportunity to fill in the rest of the team regarding his conversation with Clay. He hadn’t planned on discussing anything other than Clay’s sexuality. Jason knew he would have a private conversation with them when they got back to VA and then talk with the team when he knew where this was or wasn’t heading. 

He himself wasn’t completely sure how he felt. It had nothing to do with his two teammates being gay. It would never be about that. If he had an issue then he wouldn’t have kept Sonny on the team. It had to do with the two being on the same team, an issue he had never dealt with before. Rules exist for a reason, but not all rules are created equally or circumstances taken into consideration. While he knew the two would uphold the no fraternization rule at all times when working, he had had to think about whether decisions they would make in the field would change if the two were now together. He used to think that something like this in tighter knit groups would be a unilateral “no” across the board, but actually, he feels that Clay and Sonny wouldn’t change a thing they do while operating if they were together. They already do whatever it takes to save their brothers even if it means they may not make it home. You can’t be on Bravo without that mindset. 

Jason decided to talk to Eric first before he told the rest of the team.

“Commander, can I talk with you outside for a minute?” Eric raised an eyebrow, but followed Jason out the door once they set their meals inside.

“I was told I could tell you something from one of the guys on the team,” Jason began.

“Is this something like what Sonny told you that you could share with me?” Eric asked, not entirely sure his query would be correct. When Jason nodded, Eric simply asked, “Clay?” Jason nodded again.

“Is there a reason Clay didn’t come to me?”

“Clay had no intentions of ever letting anyone know. When I told him Sonny was gay, it became apparent.”

“I won’t say I’m not shocked. I mean, he was with Stella….I don’t quite understand.” Eric commented, his thoughts swirling.

“Same situation like Sonny, trying to make it look like they are straight.”

“Alright, I will make sure he knows that it changes nothing,” Eric firmly stated. 

Jason nodded before opening the door back up into the bunkhouse so he and Eric could reenter. As soon as Jason sat down, he began to inform his team members.

“You are probably wondering why I let Clay off to go with Sonny.”

“Actually, we all hadn’t. We know Sonny and Clay are close. If Sonny is struggling, especially with something emotional, it makes sense to have Clay with him,” Ray answered for the group.

“That’s part of it. Clay didn’t know that Sonny wasn’t straight. Sonny had never told him about Marcus.” Jason paused when he saw both Trent and Brock’s eyebrows raise and stop mid bite.

“Clay didn’t know?” Ray asked incredulously, confusion written all over his face. 

“No, he didn’t, and it was when I was telling Clay for Sonny the day we figured out the plan to get here that Clay came out to me.”

“Came out? Came out from where?” Trent asked, before his mind caught up with his mouth.

“Clay knows that he could have told us right?” Brock asked, concern in his voice afraid that the team hadn’t made Clay feel like he could share this himself.

“It’s complicated,” Jason began as he answered Brock. “He didn’t know Sonny was gay, otherwise he probably would have told us all knowing that we accepted Sonny. We didn’t make it easy on him when he joined and even though we’ve all gelled, homosexuality is still frowned upon by many, especially in the military.”

“We’ve got to let him know it changes nothing,” Trent interjected. The pained look on the medics face spoke louder than his words. He felt sick thinking Clay thought he couldn’t talk to them all about something like this. Even more so, that the Kid had tried to be with a woman just so they wouldn’t figure it out.

“I’m glad we drafted him even more now. Can you imagine if he was on some of the other teams and this came out?” Brock reached down to scratch Cerberus behind the ears, lost in his thoughts wondering what he could say or do to make Clay feel more accepted.

Eric had been a quiet observer as he listened to his guys talk this out. While these men were extremely tight lipped about their emotions outside of the team, he knew when it came to the team, they were capable of showing that they didn’t have hearts of stone. The anguish he was witnessing was the same anguish he saw when Jason told the team for Sonny. However, two of the previous members of Bravo hadn’t been so accepting and one had even transferred out because of it, something Sonny was devastated over when he had learned the reason.

As hard as the team tried not to show it, it was evident that Jason had talked with the others about Clay before they got back from visiting Sonny’s family. The team still had no idea that there could be a budding relationship in the works. Ray was the first to pull Clay into a hug, which surprisingly he didn’t try to pull out of. Ray could feel the change in Clay’s body language as he held him. He went from tense and rigid to practically melting into Ray’s arms, a wave of relief washing over him. Ray hoped that if his kids ever felt like Clay had felt that they knew they could go to him as their dad and talk with him. 

Next was Brock, and Cerb. Cerb could feel the change in energy and emotions. Brock whispered in Clay’s ear as he pulled him close. “You are my brother, nothing will ever change that.”

Trent followed Brock, upset with himself that he hadn’t made it clear yet to Clay that he could talk to him about anything, no judgments ever. 

Eric held onto Clay the longest, which wasn’t a surprise. The Rookie made the fathers in the room feel like they would if Clay were their own child. Eric knew the crappy childhood Clay had which made him feel even more paternal. He never imagined he’d have someone as young as Clay on one of his teams so he had been caught off guard when he began to feel the way he did towards Clay. Even though the culture had begun to dissipate, homosexuality in the armed forces was still an issue for many, which disgusted Eric as both a member of the armed forces and as a dad. Who you loved had no bearing over your ability to fight for your country. No one said a word when Eric wiped the tear rolling down his cheek when he released Clay from a tight hug.

Sonny could tell Clay was overwhelmed by the acceptance, his eyes beginning to get misty as he spoke.

“I’m sorry. I should have never felt like I couldn’t tell you all. You are my brothers. Thank you….thank you for understanding.”

The others in the room picked up on Clay becoming embarrassed that the focus was on him so Jason told his guys to dig into their dinners before it all got cold. Sonny reminded the men that his Ma was going to have a bbq at the end of the week for them all. Brock told Cerb he could have a bite of some tri-tip if he was good. Clay looked around the room as the guys started razzing each other over everything under the sun. He smiled to himself, finally feeling like he could live his life how he wanted. Of course, he still wanted to keep things under wraps outside of the team, but knowing his team accepted him meant the world to him. He sat back and watched his team feeling like he had finally reached his lifelong goal, along with having a family that truly cared about him, who were willing to lay down their own lives for his

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I have the groundwork laid to get to some action finally. On the shorter side for length of chapter so I should have the next chapter up soon. Ready to get into some action chapters.


	4. Time for a Texan BBQ

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bravo meets Sonny's family and Marcus's sister Mel while in Texas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick chapter to bring in a new character I hope to use in this story down the line

Chapter 4: Time for a Texan BBQ

Bravo had 1 free day before their flight home. They were all heading 45 miles east of the base to Sonny’s hometown. Sonny and Clay had driven this 3 times already but Clay was still amazed at the vast openness, the miles and miles of fence line, the thousands of heads of livestock compared to Virginia Beach where everyone was practically on top of each other. Sometimes he felt like he was living on a submarine while in VA. He longed for the openness, for the miles upon miles of Mother Nature’s finest work like he had seen growing up in Liberia. He felt like he was finally getting to live the life he had wanted, but had never been able to envision. 

Clay was brought back to reality as the car slowed in front of Sonny’s childhood home. It was a modest farm home on the outskirts of the tiniest town Clay had ever seen. Mama Quinn, as she told the men to call her, ushered Bravo into the backyard where she already had an elaborate spread of food waiting for them. Not one of them cared they’d be running hills for a month to work off this meal. 

Sonny introduced his team to his mom and two sisters who had come over to meet their brothers teammates. The eldest sister, Emily, lived nearby with her husband and two teenage sons. Her husband and sons had been delayed at the livestock market but would be there soon. Sonny’s other sister was just a year younger than Emily but almost 5 years older than Sonny. Anna and her 4 year old had made the trip from 3 hours away but her husband was on a business trip he couldn’t rearrange. 

When Sonny looked around for Mel, his mom told him she was on her way. She had taken her parents to the airport for their flight to California after visiting Marcus’s grave like they did every year. They had left Texas soon after Marcus died, unable to live with the reminders all around them. Mel had moved in with Mama Quinn for a year as she dealt with her loss before finding her own place on the other side of town after her parents moved away.

“Go ahead and make a plate, Mel said to start without her, but to save room for the cherry cobbler,” the matriarch told them all. The guys all took places around the fire pit with their heavy laden plates. Benji, Sonny’s nephew, helped himself up onto Sonny’s lap. Sonny’s eyes twinkled as a smile lit up his face. Clay knew Sonny had wanted kids, but figured they were never in the cards for him given his life. Clay now understands that he wasn’t referring to his life in the Navy. However, he could see them retiring in Texas once they were both out. Retirement would come first for Sonny with Clay’s around a decade later if the two were able to stay in, barring injury or even worse, death.

Clay ached to give Sonny a kiss seeing him interact with Benji. It was heart-warming to witness. Clay knew though, he couldn’t act on his urges. The team had no idea that he and Sonny were now together. Clay was practically beside himself as Sonny’s nephew cuddled into him falling fast asleep. The way Sonny rocked Benji made Clays heart want to burst. 

“Hope you all saved room,” Mel said as she came around the house with two pans balanced in her hands. She had on a well worn pair of jeans with equally worn boots. Her light blue long sleeve shirt brought out the deep blue of her eyes. Her hair was swept back in a ponytail under a Cinch baseball cap. Despite only a touch of mascara, Jason was struck by her beauty. All the guys noticed as he rushed to help her with the cobbler. Sonny pulled up a chair between him and Jason for her after seeing the first genuine smile on Jason’s face since Alana died. 

As the men helped Sonny’s family clean up despite Mama Quinn telling them to leave it to her, Mel pulled Sonny into the house. 

“I like them, all of them. I can see why you’ve been so happy. You know you can be happy even though Marcus isn’t here with us right?” 

Mel told Sonny that more times than she could count but she needed him to know that. She had seen the way he looked at Clay and hoped that her best friend could find someone to spend his life with the way he had wanted to with her brother. She had also been watching how Clay interacted with Sonny. She knew he had just found everything out the day before they flew to Texas so there was still the awkwardness when their hands would brush each others, the way they’d blush when the other one caught their eye. Sonny gave Mel a hug as he fought the lump in his throat. 

“I really am happy, the happiest I’ve been since….well, since I was with Marcus. The only thing that could make me happier would be for you to move to VA. I know my team leader wouldn’t mind having you around.” 

Mel couldn’t hide her flushed cheeks. “He’s pretty easy on the eyes,” she admitted. “I’ve got another date with that guy I told you about last week, Todd. Maybe if it doesn’t work with him…” she trailed off, a twinkle in her eye knowing she had caught Jason’s eye. 

Their conversation was interrupted by Clay as he wanted to thank Mel for the hospitality before the team had to return to base so they could fly out in the morning. The week had went by too fast for Sonny as it always did when he went home to visit. He knew that he and Clay were going to have to talk to Jason and the team once they got back home about their relationship, but he didn’t feel it would be an issue given how accepting everyone had already been. He still couldn’t believe he had found someone who made him feel alive again, who made him feel things he hadn’t since Marcus died.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Groundwork for Sonny and Clay's relationship finished, new character established  
Get ready for some action in the next chapter coming very soon.


	5. Man Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bravo has been on mission after mission since returning to VA from Texas. Clay and Sonny haven't had the chance to explore their relationship before the team gets spun up for a mission that goes sideways in a hurry. One of the team members on Bravo goes down and needs medical attention ASAP.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally some action!

Chapter 5: Man Down

The team had been on mission after mission once they landed back in VA following the week in Texas. Sonny and Clay hadn’t had much time at all to be together. They were both exhausted every time they got back stateside. While Clay had been sleeping at Sonny’s most nights, the two were too tired to do anything but rack out. Thankfully the team hadn’t been put in a dire situation by a mission going sideways the past several weeks, but that was about to change. 

“Nooooooooo!! Boss, we gotta get to him!” 

Clay’s voice was barely audible over the comms from the deafening sound of gunfire and explosions. Thin intel had just led the team into an ambush and Sonny had been separated from Bravo in what was quickly becoming ‘no man’s land.’ Clay was up high with Ray, watching the entire scene play out from his location. He could see that Jason, Brock, Trent and Cerb were pinned down fighting for their own lives. The enemy hadn’t been able to determine where Bravo’s snipers were perched which was the only positive of this ill-fated mission. Clay took out anyone who closed in on Sonny’s location while Ray tried to clear a path for the remaining members of the team. It was evident they were no longer going after an HVT since this was a set up, but they were still determined to take out as many of the combatants as they could while they tried to get their teammates out alive. 

It seemed to happen in slow motion through Clay’s scope. He saw the grenade tossed towards Sonny’s location as he was doing his best to defend his position. Just as the grenade exploded, Clay was able to pick off the militant who threw it, but there was nothing he could do as he saw it explode. The only saving grace was that Sonny had been able to get flat behind a crumbling stone wall which took a good portion of the force. However, once the smoke had cleared, Sonny wasn’t back in his scope, he was still laying flat not moving. 

“Man down, I repeat man down! Bravo 3 is down.” The words came from Clay, but he felt disconnected from them as he continued to watch the area, his heart in his throat. It was a suicide mission for anyone to go to Sonny with the number of enemy continuing to fight against the 5 members of Bravo still on their feet. 

What Clay saw next took what was left of his breath away. Sonny’s body jerked from the force of a bullet to his side as he continued to lay face down on the battlefield. Clay honed in on the sniper for the enemy and took him out, but had Sonny survived the blast, he may not have survived taking a round through his side. Clay didn’t believe in prayer but he still sent one up to Ray’s God that Sonny took the round in his armor. It would still hurt like hell, but would most likely not be fatal.

It was obvious the militants thought Sonny was done for so their focus turned back to the 3 men and 1 hair missile on the ground still pinned and the 2 snipers still up high. Clay, as much as it hurt to take his scope off Sonny, began to pick men off with Ray to open a path so the team could get to their downed man. With both he and Ray focused, they made quick work of the remaining tangos that hadn’t turned tail. Clay and Ray held their positions while they watched Brock send Cerb to Sonny to protect him until they could get to him. Within moments, the path was open and Jason had Sonny up and over his shoulder moving to exfil. 

“Bravo 2 to Bravo 1, we will stay high til you are clear and bring up your 6 to exfil.” Ray didn’t expect an answer as Jason was moving as fast as he could out of the village with Sonny while Brock took up point and Trent brought up the rear. 

Clay and Ray got to the waiting truck just a few steps behind the rest of their team. As soon as the 2 were in, their driver sped away while the team tried to get Sonny flat on the floor and his gear off. 

Trent didn’t know if Sonny was even alive. He held his breath as his shaky hand felt for a pulse. Jason rarely ever saw his medic tremble so he knew Trent was expecting the worse after hearing the events of the mission play out over comms from Clay.

All Clay wanted in that moment was to see Sonny’s blue eyes which mirrored his own. He held his breath as he waited on Trent. 

“He’s alive. Weak pulse, but it’s there.” Trent looked up at Clay and asked, “He was shot in his side?” Trent had already started to feel every inch of Sonny by the time Clay was able to nod his head. “Appeared to be right side,” Clay responded.

“There’s no blood so didn’t penetrate, 2 ribs feel broken, starting to bruise, don’t know if he has internal bleeding,” Trent spat out as he did his assessment. He looked back at Clay when he asked, “Did he take the full blast?”

“No, he got flat behind that wall you found him by, grenade was opposite side.” Trent exhaled deeply, relieved that his teammate didn’t take the full brunt, but Sonny was still unconscious which suggested a head injury, most likely a concussion.

Jason yelled to their driver over the noise of the truck who was driving as fast as he could safely go over terrain that wasn’t an actual road how long it was til they reached the helo.

“20 minutes,” was the response. Jason radioed in to Bravo’s support team. 

“Havoc this is Bravo 1, we have a man down, I repeat Bravo 3 is down. Need medical standing by when we return to base.”

“Copy Bravo 1, medical will be standing by when you land. Havoc out.” The team could hear the concern in Eric’s voice from having watched the entire mission on ISR. 

The team moved Sonny out of the truck and onto the waiting helo like a well oiled machine. This obviously wasn’t the first time they had to move an injured teammate. Trent was dealing with unknown injuries and while a neck/back injury was unlikely as Sonny was down on the ground when the blast went off, he couldn’t rule it out. Trent motioned for Clay to sit at Sonny’s head on the helo in case he regained consciousness. Just like any SEAL would do, Sonny would most likely be combative until he knew he was safe with his brothers. Clay could get through to him faster than any of the others could. 

Clay’s heart was beating faster than it should have been and there was a lump in his throat as he looked down at his man. The team could see the worried expression clearly on Clay’s face. This is the type of situation Jason had been fearing, but whenever it happened in his mind, it was always the trouble magnet getting hurt, not Sonny. He wasn’t prepared with how he would deal with the flip in scenario. Jason knew that even if the two weren’t together, Clay would be just as concerned as he was now, however. All of them were holding their breaths wanting to see the grin that made Sonny’s eyes crinkle up and hear hid Texas drawl berate them for fussing over him. 

Sonny and Clay had just begun to build a future together that this couldn’t be the end of it already. Clay was on his knees with his rear on his heels. He had Sonny’s head on his thighs with one hand on Sonny’s chest feeling his heart beat while he thumbed Sonny’s cheek with his other hand, willing him to wake up.

Clay helped move Sonny off the helo onto the awaiting gurney. As much as his heart yearned to follow Trent and the medical staff, he knew he had to give them space to work. He couldn’t let his emotions get the best of him as he reminded himself that no one outside of his team knew the two were together. He couldn’t show any affection towards Sonny while around others that weren’t aware of their relationship. Eric was already at the helo pad to meet his team ready to run interference if needed.

“Get out of your gear and meet me inside,” Eric ordered Jason, Brock, Trent and Clay before he rushed inside to check on Bravo 3. 

Brock could see Clay was struggling to maintain his composure so he helped his teammate get his gear off before putting a hand on his shoulder as the others finished ridding themselves of their own gear and guns. Cerb knew two of his ‘people’ weren’t with them and whined for his master to open the door back up so he could find their down man. He knew his master’s best friend wasn’t in the room which always concerned him. 

“Cerb, Sonny’s going to be fine, Trent is with him,” Brock whispered to Cerb, although the rest of the men could hear him given the small space. Clay wasn’t sure if Brock was trying to comfort Cerb or himself, probably both. Clay knew that if it were Cerb who was down, he would be comforting Brock the way Brock was trying to for him. The bond the dog handler had with his dog was beyond comprehension. Brock would be devastated if he lost any of his brothers, but the team knew that if it was Cerberus they lost, Brock would be inconsolable. If it were Brock that the team lost, they knew the hair missile would be taken from the team and none of them wanted to think about either of these scenarios.

By the time Eric came back out with an update to the men who were now waiting just outside of the doors marked Medical Staff Only, Jason was pacing, Brock was on the floor against the wall with Cerb across his lap, Ray was in a chair with his head bowed in prayer and Clay was standing near the doors with a thousand yard stare, lost deep in his thoughts.

“Sonny’s in surgery. The broken ribs punctured his spleen. Not sure if the spleen can be repaired or if it needs to be removed. He has a severe concussion based on the scans. Doctors are hopeful he will make a full recovery. He can still operate without a spleen Trent said.” The relief spreading through the room was apparent. Sonny wasn’t out of the woods by any means, but he was still alive and considered stable. 

Eric wasn’t prepared for Clay to bolt upon hearing the update. Neither was anyone else. Jason waved off the others as they all began to follow their Rookie. Jason would have bet his months wage he would find Clay in the bathroom with his head in the toilet. He knew that because that’s where he had found himself several times in the past, especially when it came to the man he was going to find. 

Clay hadn’t even had the time to lock the bathroom stall. Jason found him on his knees, but leaned to the side with his cheek against the cool stall divider. Clay didn’t even acknowledge his team leader until Jason got down on his knees too behind Bravo 6. 

“Hes going to be okay,” Jason tenderly said while placing his hand on Clay’s back, rubbing small circles, his paternal instincts kicking in without realizing it. Jason let his mind wander to his own kids being in this same position. It tore at his heart, hoping they never had to go through the pain of not knowing if their loved one was going to survive. Jason knew just how bad it hurt when that person didn’t make it. He felt his eyes tear up as he thought of Alana and the thoughts that raced through his mind as he drove to the hospital after her accident. 

“I’m sorry Jace,” was all Clay said before he dry heaved so long and hard that Jason almost went to find Trent. Clay had been thinking of Alana as well ever since he saw Sonny go down. He felt guilty that he was told Sonny was stable and Jason was the one having to comfort him. He watched all his fear and relief circle the drain as he wiped his mouth and leaned back into Jason. Despite the awkward angle, his team leader hugged him from behind and laid his cheek on the top of Clay’s head. “I’ve got you, Sonny’s gonna be okay, you know his stubborn Texan ass will pull through this.”

The team let Clay enter Sonny’s room first. As awkward as it was to let the team see his intimate side, Clay pressed his forehead against Sonny’s, closing his eyes while he took a deep a breath. Sonny would be unconscious for a few more hours as the anesthesia wore off from surgery. He knew he wouldn’t be okay until he saw Sonny’s blue eyes and hear his Texas drawl. He knew the rest of the team had circled Sonny’s bed when he felt a strong grip on both of his shoulders. It was Ray on one side and Brock on the other. Cerb had already jumped up on the foot of the bed with his head over Sonny’s feet being sure to avoid any wires attached to his teammate. He knew this teammate was important to Clay, one of his favorite SEALs. 

Jason knew it was pointless to tell Clay to rack out in their bunks for the next few hours so he slid the recliner over to the side of the bed. Sure, he could order Clay to lay down in his own bunk but he couldn’t order him to fall sleep. This was the best option if he wanted his rookie to get some rest as he waited for Sonny to wake up. However, he did order his entire team to hit the showers while Eric stayed with Sonny. He’d wait to tell the rest of the team to rack out once they were all cleaned up. He’d sit with Clay in Sonny’s room while the others tried to get a few hours of shut eye.

After getting cleaned up, Jason sat across from Clay who was reclined in the chair, turned so he could watch Sonny’s chest rise and fall. The team leader had his eyes on his rookie more than he did on Bravo 3. He couldn’t help it. How did this Kid get under his skin this way? Even though Nate was young, Clay was much younger. Jason dealt with Nate like a brother, not a son, like he realized he had been doing with Clay before he even drafted him. Jason had never had a teammate that age-wise could be his own son, it just didn’t happen because by the time someone was finally ready to be a Tier One operator, they were usually already into their 30’s with their own kids, but Clay could never do anything “normal” he had quickly learned.

Jason had been the youngest drafted to Bravo prior to Clay, but he himself had also been an exception. Jason saw a lot of himself in Clay, both good and bad. His mom had picked up on this dynamic before she had even met Clay and her opinion became fact the first time Jason took care of Clay at his own house following an injury. He acted as if it were Emma or Mikey that had been hurt. It relieved Linda to know that Clay had a positive fatherly figure in his life, but it concerned her what Jason would go through if he lost the Kid. She knew Jason had been devastated when Alana died, but any parent who has ever lost a child knows that it’s the worst kind of pain you can ever experience. Jason had already lost his wife, she didn’t know if he could get through losing his “Kid.” She herself has tried to come to grips with the life Jason has chosen for himself. After the helo crash, she tried to get him to stop operating, but like Emma realized after Alana died, Linda knew her son would just waste away if he left the team. 

Jason was jarred out of his thoughts when he heard Sonny moan before opening his eyes. Sonny quickly closed his eyes as he realized it was a mistake. The light intensified the pain in his head. Clay quickly grabbed the pain pump and put it in Sonnys hand wrapping his own hand over the older mans. 

“Hey Son, you are safe, in the hospital, gonna be okay,” Clay tenderly told him as his voice cracked with relief. 

“My head….my side….,” Sonny groaned, his voice raspy. Jason spoke up next as he put his hand on Sonny’s forearm. 

“You’ve got a bad concussion, couple broken ribs, had to have surgery to fix your spleen, you were bleeding internally.” 

“The team?”

“Teams okay, made them rack out while we waited for you to wake up,” Jason assured Sonny while he gently squeezed the Texans arm. 

Sonny wanted to open his eyes, but he didn’t want another explosion in his head from the light. He moved the arm Jason was holding to find Clay’s hand over his own hand. Clay then placed his free hand over Sonny’s other hand as he felt Sonny squeeze the button for pain relief. Sonny hated pain meds with a passion so Clay and Jason both knew he had to be suffering far more than they realized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you are all enjoying this storyline. The "whumping" isn't over yet. (First time I've used that word.)


	6. Sonny Goes Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny is flown back stateside with his team to recover from his injuries, Clay cares for him, Sonny has more medical issues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm no doctor or nurse so I hope the issues with Sonny's spleen are plausible

Chapter 6: Sonny Goes Home

Just 36 hours later, Sonny was discharged and the team was sent back stateside. Jason helped get Sonny into Clay’s car before Trent climbed in Jason’s truck to follow their teammates to Sonny’s place. Trent wanted to make sure Sonny was comfortable once he got settled into bed. Between his concussion, broken ribs and incision, he was still in considerable pain. He knew Sonny told him he was ready to fly back before he was, but Trent didn’t say anything because he knew Sonny would heal faster at home despite the flight being more draining than if the team had waited another day or two. 

Clay ran up to unlock the door as Jason helped Sonny out of the vehicle. 

“Damn…….Oh, it hurts,” Sonny could barely think straight from the pain. 

Clay got on Sonny’s other side. Sonny’s slow gait made it even more obvious he was struggling to keep himself upright. 

The pair steered Sonny to his room. Jason held Sonny from behind while Clay unbuttoned Sonny’s shirt so it could be taken off before he laid down. Clay cringed when he saw the bruising snaking out from underneath the bandaging across his midsection. Clay undid Sonny’s belt buckle then tugged his jeans to his feet. Clay held onto Sonny with Jason as Sonny stepped out of his pants. As he stood there in just his tight black boxer briefs, he realized he was beyond ready to lay down. Clay couldn’t help he got excited seeing Sonny almost naked, his chiseled body on display.

Jason exited the room so Trent could have more space to check their injured teammate over and get his medicine set up. As Jason went to the living room, he saw signs that Clay was staying at Sonny’s. He assumed Clay’s place had some of Sonny’s things for when they were there. He could see into the bedroom from where he sat on the couch. He watched as Clay tenderly had Sonny’s hand in his as he sat on the edge of the bed as Trent did his assessment. It was clear Sonny was in a world of hurt before Trent stuck him with a needle. As the morphine coursed through Sonny’s body, his pained expression began to relax and his breathing wasn’t as erratic. He quickly drifted off to sleep as Clay ran his hand through Sonny’s hair, intent on providing whatever comfort he could. Trent sat back and exhaled heavily, tipping his head to Clay to get him to follow him out to where Jason sat. 

“His bp is a little high, same for heart rate. Want to recheck in 5 minutes. I’m sure it’s just high from the stress he put his body through by traveling.” Trent directed his next comment to Clay. 

“Shot of morphine every 4 hours no matter what he says. Need to get his body to rest. If he fights it, call me.” 

Clay nodded in understanding. The three sat mostly in silence as Trent waited to recheck vitals. Sonny didn’t even stir when Clay pulled the blanket off him. His eyes briefly flickered open as Trent put the bp cuff back on and checked his pulse. 

Clay couldn’t help but notice how vulnerable Sonny looked laying there bruised and bandaged. You would never know he was a Tier One Badass. Clay got lost in his head as he took in how perfectly sculpted Sonny’s body was. He had muscles on top of muscles, taught despite asleep. His reddish brown beard hid the sharpness of his facial features while his eyelids hid the stunning sky blue eyes Clay had begun to wake up to whenever the team was stateside. 

Trent shook him out of his thoughts when he said Sonny’s bp and heart rate were back to normal and he’d stop by later that night to recheck him. Trent looked directly into Clay’s eyes when he told him that if anything changed to call him immediately. Clay gave both Trent and Jason a key so they could just let themselves in when they both stopped back. Jason hadn’t even needed to say he’d be back to check on Sonny because Clay knew his Boss.

Once Bravo 1 and 4 left, Clay stripped down to his boxers and joined Sonny in bed, also exhausted from the last few days. He laid on his side facing Sonny who was on his back peacefully sleeping. Clay reached over and put his hand on Sonny’s bulging right bicep, holding onto him as he fell asleep. Aside from getting up to give Sonny the morphine, the two slept the entire day into early evening.

Jason let himself in after sending Clay a quick text he was almost there. He hadn’t gotten a response so he entered quietly, assuming both were sleeping. Sonny was due for his next injection of morphine in 15 minutes so Jason just sat on the couch trying not to watch two of his teammates sleeping side by side, trying to afford them their privacy. Clay had one arm under Sonny’s neck and his other hand on Sonny’s chest. Jason had wanted to get there before the next round of morphine because he had to ask Sonny some questions for the AAR if Sonny was up to answering them. 

Bravo 1 is not an emotional man, but looking at his two teammates made him smile despite Sonny’s injuries. He knew how much pain Sonny had been living with once Sonny told him about Marcus. His one wish for his teammate was for him to find someone to share his life with. The Texan deserved it. He may seem like a force to be reckoned with, but he was a teddy bear at heart. 

Clay’s alarm on his phone went off just a few minutes later. As Clay woke up, Jason cleared his throat loudly to let his teammate know he was there. Clay blushed when he realized his boss was sitting just feet from where he was in bed only in his boxer briefs with Sonny in his arms. 

“You’re good Clay,” he said to the Kid hoping Clay would get over his embarrassment. 

Sonny still hadn’t woken up so Clay began to shake his shoulder trying to arouse him.

“I need to ask him a few questions for the AAR if he’s up to it before you give him more morphine.” 

Clay nodded his understanding. Jason began to get concerned when Sonny still wouldn’t wake up. He got on his feet and took the few steps it took him to get to the bedroom. Jason started to shake Sonny from the opposite side.

“Come on Sonny, need you to wake up.” 

Still Sonny didn’t stir. Clay’s eyes were wild with fear as he tried to locate Sonny’s pulse. His heart was still beating and his chest continued to rise and fall with each breath. Jason put the bp cuff back on Sonny and it was normal, along with his heart rate. Neither knew why Sonny wasn’t conscious. 

“Son, you gotta wake up. Come on,” Clay pleaded, now on his knees hovering over Sonny, his heart in his throat yet again as he rubbed Sonny’s sternum. When he got no response, Jason pulled his phone out and called Trent on speaker.

“Check his vitals every 3 minutes til I get there. On my way.” 

By the time Trent arrived 20 minutes later, Sonny’s blood pressure had begun to fall. It was still within normal range but soon wouldn’t be if the trend continued. Trent cut the wrap around Sonny’s mid section and it was evident the bruising had worsened. Trent had a sneaking suspicion that Sonny was slowly bleeding internally again, but he didn’t want to cause more fear for Clay and Jason, although Jason could read Trent like a book after years of serving together. 

“It’s faster to take him to the ER than wait for an ambulance,” Trent told his two teammates as he got back on his feet after kneeling next to the bed.

“What?” Clay asked, shocked at how fast things had changed. Sonny had been coherent when Clay had given him his last dose of meds just 4 hours ago. He had even given Clay a hard enough time about not needing the medicine that Clay almost called Trent, but Sonny eventually gave in. 

“He may be bleeding internally again. The spleen is difficult to repair and sometimes this can happen. He may need to have it completely removed now, but he will be fine without it. Need to get him to the base hospital now, though.”

With that, Clay hurriedly got dressed as Jason pulled a pair of shorts up over Sonny’s boxers to give him some dignity as they got him out of bed and to the ER. Jason had Sonny in his arms like a groom would carry their bride while Clay pulled a t-shirt over his ripped upper body. Sonny liked to run his hand over Clay’s bare chest then down over his wash board abs. Clay wished that was what they were doing now instead of going to the hospital. 

Once Sonny was transferred into the back seat of the truck, Jason hopped into the driver’s seat while Trent took shotgun and Clay got in the back. Trent twisted around in his seat to continue to monitor Sonny. Clay had Sonny’s head in his lap, one hand smoothing the hair back off his forehead and the other resting on Sonny’s right forearm. The teammates had laid Sonny on his left side to keep pressure off his injured right side. They hadn’t taken the time to rewrap his broken ribs or put a shirt on him. There was no point in doing either as the staff would want to see his injuries. 

Trent noticed how anxious Clay was becoming as they drove to the hospital. He wanted to tell him it was going to be okay, but he didn’t know if he could be convincing because in truth, he wasn’t just afraid of a slow bleed. He was worried about infection, specifically sepsis, which could be the reason why his teammate was unconscious. His body had already been through so much that it was weakened which wasn’t good if it had to battle off anything else. Another concern was his severe concussion. Did they miss something in the scans? Hopefully they would have answers soon.

Trent jumped from the truck and ran through the double doors of the emergency room to get a gurney and help. Jason threw the truck in park, but was halfway out his door by the time the vehicle stopped. He saw how panicked Trent had been as he dashed into the ER making Jason more uneasy than he already was. Clay had to shut down his emotions now that they were in public. It was a struggle seeing Sonny lay there helplessly and not be able to comfort him like he wanted to. By the time Trent returned, Clay had switched into auto pilot as he helped Jason get Sonny from the vehicle. 

Trent was already rattling off all that Sonny had been through in the last 3 days and disappeared behind the doors marked Medical Staff Only, once again leaving Clay and Jason on the outside. Jason pulled his phone out to start making calls. 

“Hey Ray, Sonny took a turn for the worse, we have him at the ER. Wouldn’t wake up and his vitals started to tank.” 

Clay was barely hearing the words Jason was saying as he had his head in his hands, his elbows on his knees. Jason’s next call was to Brock. He repeated the words he had told Ray. When he called Eric, he moved to the other side of the room pretending he was pacing because he didn’t want Clay to hear his conversation. 

“Eric, we have Sonny in the ER. He wouldn’t wake up, vitals started to tank. It’s bad, Trent’s pretty panicked. May be his spleen bleeding again.” Jason could hear Eric exhale before telling Jason he would be right there as he was on base. As soon as Eric hung up with Jason, he told Harrington he needed to get to the ER to check on Sonny. He took off running down the hall almost colliding with Mandy. He yelled over his shoulder where he was going and Mandy followed him at a quicker than normal pace. Her heels wouldn’t allow her to go any faster without ending up in the ER herself with a broken ankle. She made a mental note to start wearing flats at all times, even when Bravo wasn’t on a mission. 

She had worked with many teams, but the closest she had ever allowed herself to get to any of them was with Bravo. She wasn’t use to Sonny being the injured teammate though. It was usually Clay, so this entire situation caused by the CIA’s thin intel was new to her. Sonny was always the one at Clay’s side, not the other way around. She had started to notice that Sonny and Clay seemed to be getting closer as friends. She rarely ever saw them apart. She had started to join the guys at the bar and at get togethers. She figured she had already let them break down her walls so why fight it anymore.

Eric had an arm around Clay when Mandy got to the waiting room. He was barely breathing hard after his sprint, a testament that he still took his physical fitness seriously despite not being an operator anymore. Both Jason and Clay were surprised to see her as Jason hadn’t called her.

“I ran into….well, actually Eric almost ran over me on his way here,” Mandy told the men, trying to break the tension in the air. In typical Ellis fashion, her first question was “What do we know?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of a cliffhanger


	7. Please Wake Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny has just been rushed to the hospital after not waking up for his medication. His condition has worsened. The team is concerned there may be long term effects after a procedure goes sideways, as SEALs put it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter since I tried to break this chapter and the next where it felt right, not based on length.

Chapter 7: Please Wake Up

“He’s gonna wake up, right Jace?” Clay softly asked his team leader.

“I hope so,” Jason answered. Clay tilted his head, motioning for Jason to follow him out to the hallway.

“They said even if he wakes up, he could have brain damage from the lack of oxygen when they….when they lost him on the table in surgery.” Jason nodded and Clay continued.

“I’m not leaving him, no matter what the outcome is.”

“I know Clay, I know you never would,” Jason said as he placed both hands on Clays shoulders looking straight into Clay’s brilliant blue eyes. He could see the determined dedication in the younger man despite Sonny and his relationship being so new.

“I need you to know that if this turns out for the worst and he can’t…..he can’t….operate again, and needs me… to stay with him, I need to leave the team,” Clay choked out, tears threatening to fall from those beautiful blue eyes. Clay was willing to give up his dream as an operator for this man and it would be a fools bet to guess Sonny wouldn’t do the same.

“I know Clay, we will cross that bridge ‘IF’ we have to.” Jason couldn’t help the fatherly instincts from kicking in for the millionth time. He pulled Clay into a tight hug and pressed his cheek against Clay’s forehead, holding him while he tried to regain his composure. 

“None of us will leave him if it comes to that, we will always be here for him, but we are going to hope for the best because Trent feels he will pull out of this.” 

Mandy turned the corner and saw the two in their embrace. She tried to turn back without either seeing her, not wanting to interrupt what appeared to be an emotional moment, but Jason caught her eye and motioned for her to come over. Before Mandy could say anything, Clay spoke up. 

“Mandy, Sonny and I had been wanting to tell you something….we’ve come to trust you…. like we trust the rest of the team.” 

Mandy’s cheeks reddened hearing the compliment. 

“Sonny and I…well, we are…we are together.” 

Clay looked away as Mandy registered what he meant. She couldn’t help the shocked expression that crossed her face, but quickly replaced it with a neutral mask as she was trained to do just like the men she worked with. She reached a hand out and placed it on Clay’s arm. He turned back to her when he felt her touch. 

“You and Sonny had seemed like you were getting closer. I’m happy for you and I’m sorry he’s in here,” she said as she motioned her free arm towards Sonny’s room. 

“Why don’t you let me sit with him, get some fresh air and a meal in you,” Mandy offered. 

She was surprised when Clay agreed so readily. He hadn’t left Sonny’s side since the older man had been taken to his room. 

“I will go with you, Kid. Thanks Mandy.”

Mandy sat next to the Texan in the recliner that had been vacated. She had never seen Sonny so vulnerable. She didn’t know it was even possible for him to show any vulnerability even when he wasn’t coherent. She took in his pale face half hidden by his beard. Numerous monitors beeped keeping track of Sonny’s condition. She allowed a few tears to spill onto her cheeks. She had already been feeling guilty that it was her intel that led them into the ambush. Now, knowing that Clay and Sonny were a couple, she was feeling even worse about the entire situation. She hadn’t even considered the two being together. It’s obvious Jason knows so the team must be accepting as well, but how can this work with the two of them as teammates? It was a question she wanted to ask Jason, but not today.

Brock was with Sonny when he came to the next day. He jerked awake, pulling at the lines tethered to him. He tried to rip the IV out before Brock could settle him. He groaned as the pain from moving caught up with him.

“Sonny, hey Sonny, it’s Brock. It’s good to see you, brother.” Brock could see the confusion in Sonny’s eyes clear as he took in his surroundings. 

“What….happened?” 

“You started bleeding from your spleen again, they had to take it completely out, you developed an infection, Trent can tell you more,” the dog handler told Sonny as he sent a text to the team that Sonny was awake. 

“Damn…..how long?” Sonny asked, his voice raspy. 

“Almost 2 days. Clay and Jason couldn’t get you to wake up at home.” 

Sonny felt his chest tighten hearing what he put Clay through. His eyes kept flickering shut, the light still bothering his head. Brock immediately noticed and turned the lights off as well as closed the blinds. 

“I’ve got the lights off,” Brock told Sonny, letting him know he could open his eyes again.

“I’m tired. Clay?” 

“He should be up here in a minute, ran down to get some coffee.” Brock knew Sonny was trying to stay awake til he could see his other half, but he could see he was struggling.

“Speak of the devil,” Brock said as Clay ran into the room, a bit breathless.

Clay took Sonny’s hand as he sat down, scooting his chair closer. 

“Been waiting to see those blue eyes. You had me scared….”

“I’m sorry, I’m sor---.” 

Clay cut him off.

“You couldn’t help this. It’s so good to hear your voice.” The relief in Clay’s voice was apparent.

Brock excused himself when he received several texts back from the rest of the team all telling him they were on their way. He texted back warning them all Sonny would most likely be back asleep before they all got there. 

Clay stood back up so he could kiss Sonny’s forehead. He stared intently into Sonny’s eyes, relief spreading through him now that Sonny was not only awake, but seemed to have avoided having any complications from coding during surgery. 

“How close?” Sonny asked, not sure he even wanted to know the answer.

His mouth felt like he had been eating cotton. Clay noticed and put the straw in his glass of water. 

“Just a few sips, that’s it,” Clay told Sonny as he cupped the back of Sonny’s head once he got the straw to his mouth. 

After a few swallows, Clay set the water back down and eased Sonny’s head back to his pillow. 

“Too close,” was all Clay had to say for Sonny to understand just how worried he had made Clay. 

Before Sonny let his eyes close and drift back to sleep, he quietly said, “I love you, Clay.” While the two had felt those words, they hadn’t said them yet to each other. “I love you too, Son.” Clay kissed his forehead again before sitting back down. His heart returned back to it’s proper place after taking up temporary residence in his throat hearing Sonny proclaim his love for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be focused on Clay and Sonny's physical relationship, will recap the 8th chapter (the next chapter) at the beginning of chapter 9 for anyone who prefers not to read it. Wasn't planned in story originally but it fits.


	8. Much Needed Time in Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny and Clay finally have an evening off call all to themselves and they take advantage of it by exploring the sexual side of their relationship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who doesn't want to read the intimacy in this chapter, I will recap it at the start of the next chapter. Won't miss anything else as that is the only focus in this chapter.  
Hadn't planned a chapter like this but it seems like the right flow

Chapter 8: Much Needed Time in Bed

Sonny was given the all clear just a few weeks after he was discharged from the hospital. The two had been given special instructions by Trent that Sonny was not to partake in any rigorous activity until he passed his evaluation. It was torture not being able to act on their desires. Instead of giving each other blue balls, they avoided any sort of contact that could lead to getting hard, but sometimes that didn’t always work. 

Trent wasn’t sure if the team or the couple was more relieved when Sonny was told he could operate again. The sexual tension was so thick that Jason ordered them to head home versus meeting them all at the bar for a drink like they usually do. Neither Sonny or Clay objected. Ray had to smile watching his two teammates leave base together, a welcome sight given all that Sonny has been through recently. He felt instinctively protective over Clay and had it been anyone other than Sonny, he knew the team would want to vet the lucky guy. Ray knew that Sonny would never intentionally hurt Clay, though. This relationship may not work out and if it doesn’t, there could be a whole host of ramifications, but for now, the two were happy together. That is all they are promised, this exact moment, nothing more.

After Sonny flicked on the lights at his place, he got increasingly nervous. First night of no call, first night they aren’t bone-tired, first night they have the chance to do more than just kiss and a hand job. Sonny had to adjust so he could accommodate the swelling hardness in his boxers.

He watched as Clay took his shirt off. There had never been a more perfect body sculpted like Clay’s. He knew the Kid worked hard in both the gym and kitchen which was certainly paying off. Clay was oblivious to the fact that Sonny was watching him until he began to unbuckle his pants and slide them over his boxers which were barely containing his excitement of what this evening may entail.

Sonny crossed his arms and leaned into the door frame, hooking one foot over the other as he whistled. Clay’s cheeks immediately turned red. Always one for fairness, Clay told Sonny he had to strip down for him as well. Clay sat down on the end of the bed then leaned back and propped himself up on his elbows, legs spread apart. He watched Sonny slowly unbutton his shirt and slide it off his muscular upper body. Clay’s eyes immediately went to the scars on Sonny’s midsection. The deep ragged scar on the lower left side of his ribs he had before he became a SEAL, but the others were physical reminders of the battles he has been in, including his most recent scar. Clay’s own history was visible on his body as well, his story written in scars. Sonny undid his belt buckle and slowly shimmied out of his pants, turning his back to Clay so he once again could readjust himself. When he turned back around, it was obvious both of them wanted to quell their primal need.

Both still had their underwear on, but they knew that wouldn’t last. Sonny got into bed as Clay slid up to the headboard. Clay flipped onto his stomach and propped himself up so he could look at Sonny. Sonny stared back at him, wondering how the hell he got the life he has. He took in Clay’s mop of blonde curls, longer than reg, but no one said a word since he was a Tier One Operator. Sonny swept the hair that was in his eyes so he could look into Clay’s deep baby blues. His chiseled arms held his weight as the muscles in his shoulders and back flexed. 

Sonny turned on his side as he reached his hand behind Clay’s neck, pulling him to his lips. They were breathless when Sonny relaxed his hold. Clay ran his fingers over Sonny’s chest and abs, his heart beating faster. Clay loved many things about Sonny, but his favorite physical part of Sonny was his chest. He had a hard time not running his hands up Sonny’s shirt whenever they were together, which was a lot. 

Sonny kissed Clay’s forehead as he ran his arm the younger man, his fingers playing with the band of Clay’s underwear. Clay rubbed his hand over Sonny’s front feeling the man getting harder at just his touch. Clay slid his hand under the waistband and gripped Sonny as he moaned. 

“Damn….. damn that feels good,” Sonny drawled. Clay got up on his knees and slipped his hands under Sonny’s rear, tugging his boxers off before putting himself between Sonny’s legs. Even though both were alpha males, an unwritten requirement to do what they do as their profession, Clay was the one to submit to Sonny first. 

Sonny tried to get to Clay’s boxers, but was lost in pleasure as soon as Clay took him in. Clay’s warm wet lips over his dick sent shivers up his spine. He had missed this more than he realized having not been with a man since Marcus. Sonny wasn’t a selfish man, but he was going to enjoy every second Clay would give him. Clay hoped Sonny liked it soft and slow to start then hard and rough as he came. He knew that was how he liked it. Clay was enjoying teasing him as Sonny struggled to keep himself from bending Clay over right then and there. He wasn’t one to hold back ever, but Clay’s lips kept him on his back. Sonny quivered as he got close to finishing, his loins ached to reach climax.

Sonny came quicker than he would have liked, but it was to be expected given how long the two had been unable to further their physical relationship. Sonny flipped Clay onto his back then added Clay’s boxers to his on the floor. Clay kept his eyes on Sonny as he went down on him. Clay liked to watch whereas Sonny let his eyes shut. He said it heightened his awareness of touch. There was truth to that, but Clay really just wanted to see Sonny work his dick. Sonny’s lips were rough, hardened from years out in the elements but Clay liked it that way. He put one of his hands behind his own head as he knew Sonny liked to see his biceps bulging. He put his other hand on the back of Sonny’s head. He didn’t apply pressure, he just wanted to feel him go up and down. As Clay got close to finishing, his eyes rolled back into his head, something Sonny wouldn’t have been able to see had Clay not been watching him. Clay tried to last longer, but he was fighting a losing battle. He tried hard not to thrust when he came but he still bucked, something Sonny wasn’t prepared for. 

Both felt spent despite it only taking a few minutes. While they each caught their breath, Clay laid his head on Sonny’s chest once Sonny laid back down, his arm across him. The two had planned on taking things further tonight, much further, but in truth, Sonny was worn down as he had been unable to do much of anything the last few weeks. Sonny waited until Clay’s breathing evened out as he fell asleep before Sonny closed his eyes. He had the man he loved in his arms after having oral sex with that man for the first time while knowing he could sleep all night without being paged from work. In the life of a SEAL, that was a pretty perfect night. Sonny hoped the morning would be ‘perfect’ as well.

Sonny was not disappointed when morning came. He awoke on his side, Clay’s back against Sonny’s chest. Sonny had his arm over Clay’s waist. He began to lightly kiss Clay on the neck as he ran his hand up and down Clay’s thigh. He heard a ‘huff’ as Clay tried to cover his head with a pillow and go back to sleep.

“I will make it worth your while,” Sonny sexily drawled, getting Clay’s attention. That had Clay awake and giving himself to Sonny to do whatever he wanted to him. There hadn’t been any discussion on ‘top’ or ‘bottom,’ but it was apparent Sonny was going to be on top at that moment. He was still ‘spooning’ Clay so he wet a finger and slid it into Clay. He shifted, but quickly relaxed, moaning in pleasure. Sonny quickly moved on to two fingers. He wanted to get Clay loosened up for his dick, but was also wanting to get to sex as fast as he could. Sonny pushed and pulled three fingers in and out of Clay as Clay fisted the sheets with one hand while the other stroked his own dick. The sight in front of him turned Sonny on even more, which he didn’t think was possible. As much as he wanted to continue watching, he wanted Clay bent over in front of him even more. 

“Stand up for me,” Sonny told Clay who rolled off the bed and did as he was instructed. Sonny took up his place behind Clay then said, “Bend over.” 

Sonny had one hand on his dick directing it into Clay and the other firmly holding Clay’s hip. Clay was still so tight as Sonny pushed in. 

“Fuck Sonny….you….are….hard,” Clay said between moans. 

Sonny now had both hands on Clay’s hips as he slowly pulled out then plunged back in time and time again, getting faster and rougher as he went. Sonny reached over and put one hand on Clay’s back keeping him down in that exact position. He could feel he was close. Both were panting now, lost in pure ecstasy.

“Give it….to me…harder,” Clay begged as he started stroking himself while still holding himself up with his other arm. He could feel Sonny’s balls on his as Sonny slammed into him over and over.

“Damn….I’m almost….there…..fuck, you feel….so good,” Sonny moaned as he kept up the intensity knowing his body had almost reached climax. He tried to hold off, but his body thrust forward and he lost control. 

“I’m almost….almost there,” Clay panted as Sonny removed himself from the other man.

“Flip over and sit down,” Sonny told him. It was evident Clay wanted to come when he eyed Sonny, unsure of whether he wanted to stop or not, but he did as Sonny told him. 

As soon as he was on his back, Sonny spread his legs open as he took Clay in his mouth. Clay had not been prepared for another blow job. His eyes rolled into the back of his head immediately as he failed to focus on what Sonny was doing to him. He ran his hands through his own hair, his mind being blown by the sex he and Sonny were having this morning. Within moments though, Clay came and once again bucked, thrusting himself deeper into Sonny’s throat. However, Sonny had been prepared for that after learning his lesson last night.

Sonny collapsed on the bed next to Clay when he scooted back up the bed. 

“Was that worth getting up for?” Sonny asked.

“How about you wake me every morning like that?” Clay responded, giving Sonny an indication that he enjoyed the sex. Sonny was afraid the 20 years of rust would show. Sonny rested his head on Clay’s chest then laced his fingers in one hand with Clay’s.

“Hey uh…I know that…you haven’t….you’ve never had….this kind of sex before.” Sonny started but was cut off by Clay.

“I’ve had sex with women so it’s not like I’m a true virgin,” Clay joked.

“I’m serious. I should have asked you…. if you were okay with what I was doing ……or if you needed to switch.”

“Son, I would have told you ‘no’ if something didn’t feel right. You are correct, I’ve never had sex with a man before, but I’m glad my first time is with you. I hope we keep it up,” Clay said, his last comment making him blush. He pressed his lips to the top of Sonny’s head giving him a kiss, unable to believe he’s living his dream life right now. The team went back on call tomorrow so the two spent as much time as they could in bed that day, not wanting it to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will have a summary of this chapter for those that didn't want to read it, plus Mel comes back into the story (Sonny's friend from Texas that Jason had eyes for)


	9. Unexpected Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9: Taking you back to when the team was in Texas and Jason met Sonny's friend, Mel. This will eventually become it's own story but will occur at the same time as this story so there may be a little crossover. This chapter sets up the next one perfectly to get back to the mission action and Sonny and Clay being on the battlefield together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8: Review  
For those that didn't want to read chapter 8, you didn't miss anything important with the story line, it was the chance Clay and Sonny had been waiting for to take their physical relationship further and I struggled trying to write it

Chapter 9: Unexpected Visitor

It had been 4 weeks since Sonny had been cleared for duty following his injuries. They’d spent more time in country than stateside, one spin up after another. The men all but collapsed in their cages, thankful it was now Alpha’s turn on rotation. Bravo was getting 2 weeks of training time to help with SERE training. It’s something none of them wanted to do, but they know it’s a rite of passage all Operators must endure. It’s vital future brothers are trained for potential capture. 

Sonny dragged himself out to the parking lot not looking forward to riding his motorcycle home given how tired he was. Clay had to stay on base to help Mandy with translation for a target package, but it could take hours so Clay told him not to wait for him.

“Get in with me, I will drop you off,” he heard Jason say as he unlocked his truck. Sonny didn’t even hesitate tossing his bag in the truck box. He pulled his phone out as the sun faded quickly, checking his messages. There was a text from Mel that made him tense up, an action not lost on Jason. 

‘Called base, said you’d be home by 8, see you at your place.’

Normally Sonny would be overjoyed to see Mel, but he had a bad feeling. 

“Mel’s here, didn’t say why.” 

Jason was confused as to why Sonny was anxious, but it didn’t take long to find out. As soon as Sonny saw Mel sitting on his front porch with her head in her hands, he was out of the truck. Jason hesitated as he walked over, not sure what to expect. Sonny tossed Jason his keys as he helped Mel up. Jason flicked on the lights then turned to shut the door behind the two. 

What he saw made him send a 911 text to Trent. Sonny kneeled in front of Mel who was now sitting on the couch. He gently brushed her hair off her face and wiped the tears streaming down her black and blue face, abrasions across her forehead and her lip split in two spots. Jason could see she was gingerly holding her left side as he stared at the trembling mess of a woman that sat before him. Sonny undid the buttons of her shirt bracing himself for what he knew he would find. 

Jasons phone beeped but before he could check it, Sonny told him to tell Trent to get there ASAP, which he replied he had already done. It was evident the injuries were a day old and the two men knew they would look far worse before they got better. Sonny had to look away when he pulled Mel’s shirt apart. Jason kneeled down beside him to help Mel take the shirt completely off. He knew Trent would want to look at her injuries. Her whole left side looked like she had been drug across pavement. It hurt his heart when he saw the fingertip bruising around her neck. Sonny gasped and fought to control his temper. Jason knew Sonny was barely holding on from breaking down so he took over for him. 

The abrasions clearly didn’t end at her waist line. Jason helped Mel to her feet, but hesitated when he reached for her belt. She didn’t react so he continued. He had no doubt she trusted Sonny completely so if she wasn’t stopping Jason then she must trust him too. It’s the trust that he rarely sees outside of his brothers. He pulled Mel’s jeans down over her hips as she tried not to move as the material rubbed over the abrasions that continued down her side just past her knee on her left side. Afraid she may collapse in pain, Jason directed her back onto the couch before pulling her pants completely off. He grabbed the blanket off the arm of the recliner and spread it around Mel’s shoulders. Each man took a side of the couch with Mel between them as they waited for Trent. Mel leaned into Sonny as he wrapped his arms carefully around her trying to keep from hurting her more. 

“Can you call Clay?” Sonny asked Jason so stepped out on the porch to make the call.

“Hey Boss,” Clay said as he answered, wondering why his team leader was calling less than an hour after he left base.

“I’m at Sonny’s. Mel is here. She’s hurt. Looks like she got knocked around pretty bad,” Jason responded. 

“Shit! She had started seeing a guy right before we went to Texas. Sonny wasn’t sure about him. I will get there as soon as I can. Don’t let Sonny do anything stupid.” As Jason hung up, Trent pulled up and grabbed his medic bag then followed Jason into the house. He was shocked when he saw Mel on the couch. He assumed Sonny needed him. Jason had just said to get there. 

By the time Clay got there an hour later, Mel was resting in the spare bedroom. Trent had given her some pain medicine after checking her over. He wanted her to be seen by the team Doc in the morning. Sonny was pacing as Jason and Trent sat in the living room. Clay noticed Jason sat so he had a direct line of sight to her in the bedroom with the door open. Jason was a leader both on and off the battle field so to speak. He knew Sonny needed Jason to watch over her too as he tried to calm down, something Jason knew wouldn’t happen until Clay got there. 

Clay and Sonny still weren’t the most comfortable being intimate in front of their team, but at that moment, neither cared. Clay hugged Sonny from the back, wrapping his arms around the burly Texan who was stealing his heart. He rested his chin on Sonnys shoulder after kissing his temple. 

“Damnit Clay, I’m suppose to protect her. I promised….I promised her…I promised her parents….when Marcus died, I promised I would do what he could no longer do.” The pain emanating from his words made Clay, Trent and Jason emotional. Their life was all about protecting the vulnerable and when they couldn’t, they felt like they had failed. 

Jason and Trent gathered their things before reminding Sonny and telling Clay that Doc wanted to see her in the morning, but would do so in the parking lot so she didn’t have to walk through the base in her condition. 

“Thanks guys,” Clay told them both as he shut the door behind them. He let out a sigh as he thought ‘the only easy day was yesterday.’

After Doc wrote Mel a script, Jason sent Sonny home with her for the day. He had already filled Eric in and got his approval to give Sonny the day off. The team could get through SERE orientation without him today. Clay cringed as he walked into the room and saw the 50 gallon drums filled half full of water. He had been the last class of recruits to go through SERE as they only hold it once a year. When he passed the cages, his stomach flip flopped as he knew the men would be locked into them and the speakers that had been set up would blare music and the sound of a baby crying.

When he got into the classroom, he thought of what had happened after he passed. His brothers lifted him out of the water and gave him the nod of approval he had been seeking his entire military career. He had become a Top Tier Navy SEAL about to be drafted as a Tier One sniper with the Navy’s best assault team, Bravo. Some have said over the past half year that this is the best assault team the Navy has ever had. That’s quite the compliment coming from the retired members of Bravo like Harrington, Blackburn and his late training commander Adam Siever. The team was already held in high regard when Nate was still alive despite many disagreeing with the way Jason ran his team, but no one could deny his results. 

Very little is discussed between teams other than that they exist and who is on them, but Jason knows that some of his methods have been used by newer team leaders resulting in success. Once Clay was chosen for Bravo, their team started to get hand-picked for Black Ops because everyone knew Clay shot to kill and knew multiple languages. Having 2 elite snipers on a team of shooters had made the team even more desirable. 

The Kid wasn’t naïve to think that his placement had catapulted the team to the level it was. He knew the man he replaced was a hell of a SEAL, but Nate hadn’t gotten along well with anyone except Jason. He caused the team to split versus gel together. Now that Clay was on the team, they’d been able to reach a level of “togetherness” most teams never acquire. Men get injured every day, some even die, so many teams feel like they always have someone new rotating on or off the team. Even Bravo has felt that a few times the past year when they had their own injuries, but no one had ever been out long enough for Jason to even consider replacing.

“How is she?” Ray asked quietly so the trainees didn’t hear. 

“Bruises, contusions, abrasions will all heal, no broken ribs but damn tender to the touch.” Ray wasn’t one to pry so Clay was taken aback when he asked how it had happened. 

“She had been seeing a guy the past couple months, his temper started to show but had never hurt her until she tried to break it off with him. He pushed her down cement steps before beating her. She’s pretty sure he would have killed her had she not had her revolver with her. He didn’t know she carried. She barely got to it before he strangled her. He let her go when he heard her cock the barrel. She’s got finger tip bruising around her neck.” 

Ray knew it had been domestic violence of some sort but he didn’t know just how severe it had been. No wonder Jason gave Sonny the day. Now that Ray had rediscovered his faith, he sent a silent thank you to his heavenly Father that Mel was going to be okay.

“I don’t want to think about what would have happened to Sonny had he lost her. Damn. How long is she able to stay?”

“Sonny doesn’t want her to go back, wants her to move here. He’s wanted that for years I guess. Sounds like she’s considering it after they talked this morning before she saw Doc.”

“How do you feel about that?” Ray asked, knowing Clay and Sonny spent most nights together. 

“I’m the one who brought it up.” 

Before the two could carry on their conversation, Jason walked in clapping his hands getting everyone’s attention. It was time to start.

Jason couldn’t get his mind off Mel as the day drug on. Actually, he hadn’t been able to get her off his mind since he left Texas. He had wanted to call her, but he didn’t want to be ‘that guy’ as she was seeing someone else. Now he wishes he had called her wondering if he could have stopped her from getting hurt. He hadn’t been sure how Sonny would react and the distance between them were just two of the reasons why he hadn’t pursued her. He had fallen for her in just mere hours, first being struck by her carefree beauty then by her gentle and compassionate nature. It was clear she was spirited after watching her and Sonny interact, telling stories of past escapades they had gotten themselves into every time he was home to visit. 

When class was done, Jason asked Clay if he could stop by Sonny’s to see how they were doing. It didn’t seem like an odd question coming from Jason since he often checked in with his teammates when something was going on. He was glad he didn’t have to divulge what he had been thinking about all day.

Clay waited for Jason to park before they both headed into Sonny’s. Sonny was in the shower as Mel was sorting through his cupboards. 

“Might as well order take out, won’t find anything in there,” Clay told her after she greeted the men, still embarrassed about why she ended up on Sonny’s doorstep. She had always prided herself on being able to take care of herself, of being independent not needing anyone else. 

“I can go pick something up, just tell me what you’d like,” Jason offered. 

Clay could see the lingering look Jason gave Mel as he fumbled with his keys. A lightbulb clicked when he realized Jason was there to see Mel more than Sonny. 

“How about Sonny and I go pick something up when he’s done in the shower,” Clay suggested as he went to Sonny’s room, closing the door behind him. 

Mel offered Jason a bottle of water which he accepted even though he wasn’t thirsty. “Drink up, don’t want to get dehydrated even though you are stateside for a bit,” she told him. 

He did as she instructed as they both sat down on the stools facing the kitchen. 

“My mom is in town this week to help with getting Mikey to and from hockey camp. If you need anything during the day, you can call her.” 

“Thanks Jace,” she said softly, using the nickname he only allowed his teammates to call him. He didn’t mind her using it as he heard it roll off her tongue. The only time anyone ever used it was when a sideways mission became dire.

Clay knocked on the bathroom door so as not to startle Sonny as he showered. As much as Clay wanted to hop in with him, he quelled the hardness he felt in his pants as he took in Sonny’s bare body. He was chiseled beyond perfection. Scars littered his body from the battlefield which Clay thought made Sonny even sexier. The long jagged scar on his upper left thigh still took his breath away. It happened during Clay’s second mission after joining Bravo. He had held Sonny in his arms as Trent applied pressure to the knife wound while the others sought out the remaining tangos. Sonny was white as a sheet as he started to say his goodbyes. Trent was able to stabilize him long enough to get him to the helo Eric had pulled out of thin air. 

Clay was jarred back to the present when Sonny turned the water off. He could see the redness rimming his eyes, evident he had let his emotions loose in the shower. 

“Let’s go pick something up for dinner, Jason is here, he can stay with Mel,” Clay told him as he handed Sonny a towel. 

Sonny didn’t say a word as Clay pulled out clothes for him for when he dried off. It wasn’t until Clay went to open the bedroom door that Sonny spoke. 

“Would you really be okay with Mel moving in with me?” Clay was shocked Sonny was even asking him such a question. 

“Of course I’m okay with it, otherwise I wouldn’t have even mentioned it. I saw how much you enjoyed being around her back home, but knew she had no plans to move here at the time. I hate the situation but if this gets her here, then I’m all for it, regardless of whether we are in a relationship or not. You need her as much as she needs you.” 

Sonny knew he was right. “I’m gonna give her this room and take the spare. Tighter quarters when you stay, but she will be here 365 nights of the year, I won’t be.” 

“Tighter space sounds good to me,” Clay playfully answered, succeeding in getting Sonny’s mind off what had all transpired in the last 24 hours. 

Sonny pulled Clay to him in a hug, knowing that was as far as he could go without his primal nature over. As much as he wanted Clay in his bed, which he hoped would happen later tonight, he wanted to make sure Mel was situated for the night, starting with dinner.

By the time they finished dinner, it was late and both men had to be up in the morning to help with SERE training, but neither was ready to say goodnight. It was the first chance the two had been able to be together in weeks. They were either on a base in country where they had to act like they weren’t together or they were so exhausted after they got stateside they crashed as soon as their heads hit their pillows. With Jason there, both he and Clay felt a little awkward sharing a bed. Clay had told Sonny he’d head to his place but both Jason and Sonny told him to stay since it was getting late. Still though, being in a bed just across the living room from your Boss was a situation they never expected. Sure, they all slept in the same barracks and even in each other’s beds when someone was injured but that wasn’t the case here.

Mel had fallen asleep on the couch after dinner and Jason hadn’t come back out of the bedroom after he carried her in there. When Sonny had checked on them, Jason was sleeping on top of the covers next to Mel. She had her hand on his bicep as she snuggled up to him under the sheets. Sonny smiled, thankful Mel was trusting of his Boss, especially if she was going to be living in VA. He had seen the way Jason watched Mel back in Texas and was honestly surprised Jason hadn’t asked for her number. He had hoped he would but didn’t say anything in case he misread the situation. Mel had asked about him several times when she’d call to check in with Sonny but didn’t ask her how she felt since she had started seeing the asshole who hurt her. He liked the thought of Mel being with someone he knew and trusted, who could keep her safe when he wasn’t around. He appreciated the simple act of staying on top of the covers, as a gentleman would do, not taking advantage of the situation. He knew he was getting ahead of himself but he made a mental note to talk with Jason. There was no way Mel was ready for a relationship right now given what had happened and he wasn’t sure if Jason had given any thought to dating again after Alana died, but it made him rest easier knowing Jason was treating her like family already. 

In the morning, Sonny went to wake Jason up so they’d get to base on time. He heard a groggy “come in” after he knocked. Sonny found Jason sitting against the headboard with Mel across his lap.

Jason said “She had a rough night between the pain and the nightmares.” 

Sonny felt like he had been kicked in the gut. As he spent the evening in Clay’s arms, she was terrified. When Jason saw the internal battle in Sonnys eyes he continued, “She wouldn’t let me wake you, if I hadn’t been here I know you would have been by her side all night.” 

Jason gave him absolution as Mel stirred. It took her a moment to realize where she was then she looked embarrassed she had ended up in Jason’s arms. 

“Sonny, can you tell Ray I won’t be in until the afternoon drill? He can handle my part if you can take his.” 

“Sure thing, Boss.” 

Mel wanted to protest, she didn’t want Jason to miss work, but before Sonny had even shut the door, she covered her mouth with her hand feeling sick. Sonny grabbed the trash can by the door before she couldn’t hold back any longer. Sonny held her hair while Jason rubbed her back as she heaved. Hearing the noise, Clay grabbed a bottle of water so she could rinse her mouth when she finished. All 3 men looked over her at each other, wanting to be able to do something more for her but not being able to. “I will get my mom to come stay with her after break til we get done.” Mel didn’t argue despite not wanting to meet Jason’s mother this way but she knew she wasn’t well enough to stay on her own feeling like this. 

After Clay and Sonny reluctantly left for base, Jason helped Mel into the restroom so she could clean up. She wanted a hot shower and clean clothes after she sweated through her nightmares last night. He turned his back while she undressed, a slow and painful process for her. 

“I’ll stay right here,” Jason told her as he took a seat on the stool once she had drawn the curtain. 

By the time he got her out of the shower and dried off, she was worn down. She pulled just a tshirt and underwear from her bag, which she needed help getting on. She didn’t want to take the pain pills because they upset her stomach but the pain itself was causing her not to feel well. Jason got her to eat a piece of toast with her meds. While she sat at the counter, he stripped the bed and put fresh sheets on. 

“Thank you for staying with me this morning. I’m sorry I was such a mess last night. I know I kept you awake.” 

“This is what we do for family.” 

Once he got Mel back in bed, he stepped outside to call his mom. “Mom, I need you.”

Jason had told his mom he didn’t need her til later but when she heard what happened she ran to the store for some creature comforts for Mel, along with some groceries because she knew a single SEAL never had a stocked fridge, and arrived early. Jason carried the bags in as Linda stared at the sleeping woman. She had never seen a woman so banged up by a man. It tore her heart and she felt her eyes well with tears. 

As she busied herself making a casserole for the guys and Mel to eat for dinner, she couldn’t help but notice just how tender her son was with Mel. She could see into the spare room from the kitchen. Jason gently shook her shoulder telling her it was just him and she was safe. It was a phrase Linda could have lived without hearing ever again. Too many times she had said the same to Jason when she’d find him in the throes of a nightmare when she stayed with him after the helo crash. 

“It’s time for your medicine. Don’t want to get behind on the pain.” 

He held her hands as she struggled to her feet obviously in pain. Linda caught Jason’s eyes as he walked with her to the counter. The sadness in his eyes made her well up with tears again. 

“Mel, this is my mom Linda. She’ll be right here if you need anything once I leave.” Mel looked into the kind and caring face of Jason’s mom as she both apologized for and thanked her for coming. 

“Oh Sweetie, anything I can do you just tell me,” Linda told her as she patted her hand. 

Jason began to make her a piece of toast to go with her meds but Linda shooed him out of the kitchen. 

“Let me get you something more appetizing than bread. I picked up some yogurt and fruit if either sound good to you. I have a casserole ready for tonight along with salad for you all.” 

“Thank you Mrs. Hayes. Yogurt sounds great.” 

As the older woman reached into the fridge she told Mel to call her Linda. Jason gave his mom a quick hug as he headed out the door.

At the end of the week, Jason took Mel to his place after their lunch break as Linda had to get Mikey ready for camp and finish helping Emma pack. He had debated letting his kids meet her this way. He had given Mikey just enough info to understand she was a friend of Sonny’s and had been hurt but he didn’t elaborate on how she had been injured. Emma was more inquisitive. 

“How could a man do this to a woman?” Emma asked after Jason showed Mel to the living room. 

“This is why I want you to get a gun when you leave for college. She’s only alive because of it. She didn’t even have to shoot it, just the mere presence got him to stop.” 

Jason was relieved when Emma told him he could teach her how to handle a gun. She had declined his attempts in the past.

When the team got done with training for the evening, they all breathed a sigh of relief to have two days off. They felt like normal guys who had a 9-5 job with weekends off. Despite not wanting to do the training, it couldn’t have been at a better time. Sonny had followed Jason to his place to pick up Mel but when they got there, she was fast asleep on the couch as Linda prepared dinner. 

“Just leave her here. She’s had a restless day.”

Mel slept through dinner but awoke when Jason attempted to carry her to his bedroom so she could sleep more comfortably. It didn’t take long for her to fall back asleep as Jason got ready for bed. As he was pulling on his lounge pants after his shower, Mel cried out “Stop. Please stop! You are hurting me.” 

Even after Jason kneeled by the bedside jostling her awake, she panicked and felt like she couldn’t breathe. 

“Breath in and then out, in and then out.” 

Emma had hear Mel and was standing in the doorway to her dad’s bedroom. She couldn’t help but notice how gentle he was with her, something she wasn’t used to seeing. Upon seeing her standing there, Mel apologized for waking her up. Jason turned around to see his daughter with tears in her eyes. He motioned for Emma to come in. 

“Is there anything I can do, Dad?” Emma asked, trying hard to be strong for Mel even though she was on the verge of crying. 

“I will be okay, Emma, but thank you,” Mel said before Jason could answer his daughter. He got up from his knees and gave his daughter a hug before walking her back to her room. When he returned to his room, Mel was still awake, so he turned his tv on to distract her from her thoughts. He pulled her to his side after he got in bed, putting his arm around her as she snuggled in closer. He tenderly smoothed her hair back as her tears dried. 

“You are safe with me. It’s gonna be alright. We will get you through this.”

It had been 3 weeks since Mel showed up on Sonny’s doorstep. Her physical wounds were healed and she had been able to stay on her own for a few days. Honestly, she could have been left alone much sooner but none of the guys, especially Sonny and Jason, wanted her to stay by herself. They had no indication the man in Texas was trying to find her, but if he was, they didn’t know far he would go. Sonny wanted to get to Texas and retrieve her belongings so she’d be more comfortable in her new home with him but hadn’t wanted to leave her that long til now. There was no way he was letting her go back as he didn’t want her to come across Todd. 

Brock, Clay and Sonny tagged along on a transportation run from VA to TX and had planned to drive a u-haul back with her things but when they arrived, Sonny’s family was already loading boxes into the truck. He had called his mom just a few days ago when she left a message saying she hadn’t heard from Mel the past few weeks, which was odd. Sonny gave his mom a hug and accepted her invitation to continue helping the men clear out Mel’s place. Mama Quinn could see how difficult this was on her son. It reminded them both of when they helped Marcus and Mel’s parents load up and leave TX. 

Clay drove the u-haul to the Quinn homestead as soon as they finished up, less than an hour after they had arrived. Brock and Clay couldn’t thank Sonny’s family enough through dinner. Sonny pushed away from the table before he had even taken a bite. He needed to call Jason and make sure Mel was okay. Sonny had left Mel with Jason at his place even though he offered to help move her. To be honest, Jason would rather be at Sonny’s with her even though he thought the guys could use his help. Sonny quickly dispelled his guilt over being glad he wasn’t in TX when he informed him his family had done the majority of the packing and they were leaving the next morning after they went out and hit the tiny towns only bar tonight. He still hoped there would be more to their relationship but he didn’t push. He didn’t know where exactly Jason’s head was at as far as dating again and he wasn’t sure Mel would be ready to explore the possibility, but he was wrong.

Clay kept his hands to himself while Sonny, Trent and he sat at the bar of the local bar, Moe’s. This was Texas and Sonny’s hometown, which he knew may not be receptive to Sonny’s sexuality. He had hidden it when he and Marcus were together.

“So the local hero is here to drink. What do we owe this pleasure to?” 

Sonny had seen the man enter the bar as he never had his back to a door even when they weren’t on duty. Sonny didn’t say a word despite the flash of anger Trent and Clay saw in his eyes. 

“So where is she? Rumor has it you want her to move, leave everything she has ever known,” the man goaded Sonny. It became apparent the man had been talking to Sonny when he made his first comment. Clay wanted to step in but he knew Sonny could, and would want to, handle this on his own. 

When the man sat down on the bar stool next to Clay, Sonny spoke despite now staring down into his glass of beer. The fury he felt was evident in his tone.

“You need to leave, Todd.”

Hearing the name, both Clay and Trent sent daggers to the guy sitting next to them. Clay got up off the bar stool and stood behind Sonny not knowing what he should expect, but readying himself for whatever may happen.

“Why is that, Mr. I’m Too Good for This Place? This is my town, not yours. You left it years ago.”

“Does everyone know what you did to Mel?” Sonny asked, his eyes now staring into Todd’s as his hands balled up into fists. It was taking everything he had to control himself.

“She fell, you can’t seriously believe what she said. She’s a bitch, anyway. Doesn’t put out,” Todd said, his confidence diminishing. He didn’t want it getting out what he did to make Mel want to leave. He had told everyone she just up and left like Sonny had. However, most had doubted his story given just how much Mel had been involved in their tiny community and had established her life amongst them all.

Clay put his hand on Sonny’s shoulder saying, “Come on Son, let’s get out of here.”

“Yeah, let’s go, you don’t need this,” Trent echoed.

“You stay away from her. If I find out anything different, I won’t hesitate to come back.”

Todd knew that Sonny wouldn’t unleash on him here in the bar, unless it was self defense. Todd figured he had the jump on the man standing toe to toe with him though. The men in the bar would have his back as they didn’t know what was going on to make Sonny furious.

“Everyone around here may think you are some badass sailor, but you don’t scare me. I do as I want,” Todd claimed just before he took a swing at Sonny’s face. Even though the town knew Sonny was in the Navy, they didn’t know what exactly he did. Had Todd known that, he probably wouldn’t have started what he wasn’t going to be able to finish.

Sonny was ready for the swing, easily moving to the side as Todd fell into the bar. Sonny grabbed him by his collar and pulled him back. Before Clay and Trent grabbed Sonny from obliterating the man, he landed a punch to Todd’s gut with his right hand followed by a cross with his left hand to his face. Truth be told, Clay and Trent could have stepped in before the punches, but they both felt he got just a bit of what he deserved. When the men around the bar rushed to Todd’s side, Clay stepped in between. Todd tried to take a swing at Clay which only infuriated Sonny further. Trent wrapped his arms around his teammate while Clay held Sonny at arms length so he couldn’t get to Todd. The bartender had hopped over the bar by this time and got in Todd’s face. 

“I don’t give a damn what this is about. You took the first swing, so you gotta leave.” The look the bartender gave Todd meant he was as serious as all get out. As the injured man shuffled out the door spewing profanities and telling Sonny to watch his back, the bartender grabbed the bottle of Jack and poured the 3 SEALs a shot on the house. He introduced himself as Mack, a former Army Ranger. He could tell just by how Clay, Trent and Sonny had acted that they were military. When the 3 showed restraint, he knew they were on a short leash not wanting to tank their careers. 

“I heard Todd say you were in the Navy,” Mack said to none of them in particular.

“Yeah, we are,” Trent answered. “Just here to help a friend move.”

“Mel, right?” Mack kept going before Sonny nodded his head. “I met her a few times. Only been in town half a year. You and Todd have beef?”

Clay answered as Sonny was still seething.

“yeah, he’s not a good guy. He deserves to get his ass beat for what he did to Mel.” 

The wheels started to turn and pieces fall together as Mack realized that Todd would have had to hurt Mel for a Navy man to lash out like he did. Bar fights had the potential to end a sailors career. However, if anything official came from this, he could truthfully say that Sonny was only defending himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This occurs just weeks before Manila


	10. Manila, Enough Said

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team has just been deployed to Manila, even Ash Spenser makes an appearance. Sonny is left reeling as Clay is sent back stateside and he can't go with, thankfully Mel is stateside to be with Clay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to make some changes to incorporate the relationship between Clay and Sonny, but tried to stay true to the overall story and the emotions and feelings we all felt when we watched the episodes

Chapter 10: Manila, Enough Said

Jason hugged Mikey and Emma before turning to Mel, who was saying goodbye to Sonny and Clay. The team was being deployed to the Phillipines to train their military in Manila. While he was leaving his children and her, he still had his brothers with him while he was away. Mel didn’t. She was saying goodbye to her best friend, her boyfriend and the guy who stole her best friends heart who was another close friend.

Sonny’s heart sank when he realized Clay had gone back outside after the initial blast. He ran panicked but purposeful as he scanned the streets littered with death and destruction. Clay had been right across the road when he handed off the two kids to him. When Sonny realized the scorched ground in front of him had to have been the blast site, he started yelling Clay’s name, which got the attention of his teammates who had just ran out when they had only counted 5.

Sonny was the first to get to Clay. His eyes were open but they were unfocused. Blood poured out of both of his legs, especially his right one. He wasn’t wearing shoes anymore, not a good sign as it conveyed the strength of the blast. Sonny had his hand on Clay’s cheek as he looked up for his teammates.

“Over here! I got him!”

The men went into autopilot, Sonny taking up the position he was normally in when Clay would get hurt. Even before they were together, it was Sonny who comforted Clay more than anyone else. Trent yelled over the screaming sirens a list of items he needed, which Brock ran to go find. Jason helped Trent make a tourniquet that would be able to slow the bleeding even though the damage to Clay’s leg was at the top of his thigh. Brock helped Trent sterilize the items he had brought back as Jason told Ray to flag down the ambulance that had just arrived on scene. Even when the medics got to Clay, the team continued to care for Clay. Sonny brushed the Kid’s hair off his forehead with one hand while the other was on Clay’s chest pleading with Clay to hold on. 

“Clay, hey Clay. Hold on. You are gonna be fine. We got you.” Sonny’s words were thick with emotion, his hitched breathing making it hard to talk.

“Please baby, please. Don’t give up. We got…..we got too many….plans. You wanted me to take you….to the Alamo. You were gonna…..no, you ARE gonna move in…..make it ‘official’ like you said,” Sonny begged, tears streaming down his face unchecked. The rest of the guys could hear how desperate Sonny sounded, they all were as they watched their Kid laying in the middle of the street amongst the destruction. 

With expertise, the team moved Clay from the ground into the ambulance. Jason jumped in then offered his hand to Sonny to pull him up and inside the vehicle. If they were on the actual battlefield, neither of them would have gone with Clay. That’s not how injuries work for SEALs. There was no way Jason would send Sonny on his own either. Once this hit him, and it would, he was going to need his brothers there.

Eric rushed into the hospital looking for his team. He only knew Clay was close to the blast from Jason’s call, sirens in the background making it difficult to hear the team leader. He saw the rest of his team in the hallway just steps from the Emergency Room doors. Yet again, Jason finds himself on the opposite side of the doors from a teammate. He was leaned back against the wall with one hand on his knee and the other rubbing his thigh, a tick that revealed the stress he went through when he couldn’t control an outcome. Ray was on the floor, his legs spread out in front of him and his eyes closed. Even though he was having a crisis of faith, he still sent a prayer in case he was wrong about his God. Brock and Trent sat side by side in the hard plastic chairs they had drug to the hallway from the waiting area. Brock had one arm over the medic and pulled him in. 

“You did all you could. You gave Clay the best chance to get through this,” the dog handler whispered in Trents ear before wrapping his other arm around his best friend.

Trent let Brock hold him as he kept replaying every little detail from the time the team found Clay til they got him in the ambulance. Was there something he should have done different? Was there something he did that made things worse? Could he have been better prepared? He knew the answer to the last question was a ‘no.’ Yeah, they were at risk of bombing injuries while working, but they had their gear and medical supplies with them. Here, they were out for a drink on their down time sans useful items needed for injuries like what Clay sustained.

Sonny sat along the wall as close to the double doors as he could get without being in the way. He had his knees pulled up to his chest. He rested his forehead on his forearms that he had crossed over his knees. Eric could see the fear as he watched Sonny’s body trembled. He tried to get his breathing under control but it was shaky.

Every single man there was covered in Clay’s blood. It was obvious he had lost a tremendous amount of blood making Eric more fearful of what he will get told when he is given permission to talk with the doctors behind those damn doors.  
When he came back out moments later, he first told the team that Clay was still holding on, but in critical condition. A small wave of relief spread through the room but quickly vanished when he had to tell the team they wouldn’t be able to see Clay since he was being flown back home due to the severity of his injuries. Sonny still hadn’t lifted his head, but Brock, being the closest to Sonny, could hear his hitched breath and sniffling, no doubt he was crying. Brock didn’t call attention to it. He just sat down on the floor next to Sonny, one arm across his back. 

Ray asked the question they all wanted to know the answer to. “Are we going state side too?”

Eric shook his head and said, “I’m sorry, but no, no you aren’t. We have 3 more weeks here before we can go back.”

“Since this is only training, can we send Sonny back?” Jason asked, not sure if he was going to like the answer.

“No, Sonny is not Clay’s legal next of kin. Even if I could find a way around that, I still need Shaw’s approval and we all know what a tenable situation that can be.”

Sonny’s whimpers and sniffs had grown louder, so Brock turned toward him so he could hug him while on the floor. Ray reached over from his spot on the floor and put his hand on Sonny’s shoulder, desperately praying the team would get to see Clay alive when they get back stateside.

“Let’s get back to our rooms. Get washed up, a hot meal and rest. There is nothing we can do right now for Clay.” It hurt like hell for Eric to say those words, but he had to be the CO regardless of his emotions.

Once the team is back to their rooms, Sonny grabbed his bag and went to Jason’s room. Before Sonny even asked if he could stay with them, Jason opened the door and welcomed him in. He couldn’t handle being in the room he was sharing with Clay, at least not right now.

“You want me to call Mel?” Ray asked Sonny after the men had all cleaned up and were about to get food.

“Yeah, could you? I don’t know….um…if I can…..if I can tell her…..all this…..without…..” Sonny trailed off.

“Let us do it for you. We got you. We got Clay. If Mel wants to talk to you, are you up for that?” Ray asked.

Sonny nodded his head while Jason pulled his phone out telling Ray he would call since he’s team leader.

“Hey babe!” Mel answered, obviously having been woken up.

“Damn, I’m sorry I woke you up.” Mel knew that the reason for the call had to be important because he wouldn’t have forgotten the time difference for anything but an emergency.

“It’s Clay….he’s been hurt…hurt bad. He’s on a medical flight from Manila back to base.”

“What?? Is everyone else okay? How is Sonny? He’s being sent home with Clay, right? I mean, at least one of you is if not the whole team.”

“Whoa Mel, whoa. Sonny is okay, same for the team, physically. All pretty shook up. No one is coming back state side with him, that’s not how this works. We are required to stay here and finish this deployment.”

“What? Stay? How did this happen? You were on a Gucci mission to train Philippine forces.” Mel’s initial tiredness dissipated quickly as her worry ratcheted up.

“I can’t say much but there was a bomb, can’t fix him here, should get to VA by 4am your time.”

“Okay, I will meet him at the hospital,” Mel said as she began to gather up what she wanted to take with her. “When will you all be back?”

There was no answer until Ray spoke up. “We are here for 3 more weeks.”

Trying to digest the news, Mel promised she would stay by Clay’s side til they got back stateside.

“One other thing, Mel. The hospital here had Clay’s father Ash Spenser as his next of kin from the last time he deployed here before he was part of Bravo. They already contacted him, but Eric has a call into base to not allow Ash to see Clay. If he shows up, call me and I will take care of it,” Jason told Mel. 

Mel knew that Ash was PNG and he didn’t have a relationship with Clay, but he didn’t know the details. He wasn’t sure Sonny even had the details for as close to the vest as Clay keeps that topic.

“Alright, you said 4 am? I will pack a bag for both Clay and I,” Mel said just before she was about to hang up. She heard the phone click off speaker and only Jason’s voice was on the other end.

“Mel, it’s bad, really bad. He’s in critical condition. Severe trauma to his legs, trouble breathing, barely conscious. Eric said they were going to put him in a medically induced coma for the trip which meant he’d also have to be on a ventilator. He uh…..he may not….make it.” Jason had to force those last few words out despite the lump in his throat.

“Can I talk to Sonny please?” Mel could hear Sonny fighting back tears and sniffing before he even said a word after Jason handed him the phone.

“I’ve got him Son, I will be here til you get back. You do what you need to do there. Will keep you updated,” Mel told her best friend wanting to take all of the pain away that he felt. 

“I can’t……I can’t…..lose him….not like this……I need him…I love him,” Sonny got out between hitched breaths. The team all turned their attention to the Texan when he said the last 3 words. They hadn’t ever heard those words come from Sonny’s mouth, but they sounded so natural as he spoke about Clay, the gravity of the situation hitting them even harder.

“I know, I know you don’t want to lose him, I will do everything I can for him, you stay safe, he’s gonna need you when you get back. I love you Sonny,” Mel said as more tears spilled from her eyes.  
Sonny was so caught up emotionally he couldn’t even tell Mel goodbye. Jason took the phone back and did it for him. It was a good thing that Jason got off the phone because by the time he turned back to his team, Sonny looked extremely unsteady on his feet, about to collapse. Jason reached for him as Sonny’s knees buckled and a flood of tears rolled down his teammates cheeks. Jason caught him under the arms and slowly lowered him to the floor between his legs. He pulled Sonny’s back up to his chest holding onto him tightly in a reverse hug. Brock sent Cerb to lay down by the pair before they all left the room to give the two men some privacy. While all of Bravo was struggling, it was Sonny and Jason who were taking this the hardest. 

Jason held onto Sonny as he rocked back and forth crying, “I can’t lose him, he can’t die, he just can’t.”

“I know Son, I know. We gotta believe he’s gonna be alright. Trent did everything he could to give him his best chance,” Jason said, feeling the sting of tears in the cuts he had on his face from the explosion. 

Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t have held back his emotions. For him, losing their Kid was what he feared the most when it came to the team. Jason had nightmares that Clay died while operating. The dreams were always different, but they nevertheless ended the same way, not being able to save their youngest team member. Jason shuddered as his body was racked with the fear of not knowing whether Clay would survive this or not, but he had to be strong for Sonny. While Jason could lose a team member and a close friend, Sonny would lose a teammate and the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Jason knew how hard it was to lose the person you loved more than anyone else in the world. Sonny had already been through that once, he didn’t want to see him have to go through it again. While the two knew that the risk of one of them being killed in their job was higher than the average occupation, they each knew the other was born to operate so they’d never ask the other to quit the team. 

“If I’m not there…..I can’t protect him Jace. I can’t do anything….for him from here,” Sonny managed to choke out. 

Jason didn’t have a response. All he could do was press his cheek to the back of Sonny’s head and whisper, “Shhhhh…..Shhhhh…….It’s gonna be alright,” as he continued to hold the tough but tender SEAL in his arms. It’s how he used to quiet his own kids down when they were scared. He hoped it would help calm Sonny.

Mel parked her car in the visitor section of the base hospital and took a deep breath. Clay had just landed so she wouldn’t be able to see him right away. Actually, she didn’t know when she would see him. He needed surgery of some sort. The doctor will speak to her as soon as he gets eyes on Clays injuries and develops his plan of action. He wasn’t going to make her wait potentially hours upon hours for them to finish in order to apprise her of his situation. As she rounded the hall on the 1st floor entrance to ask what room Clay would be in, she saw the man she despised more than any other person she had ever met. He was leaning across the nurses desk, obviously laying on his charm to try to get what he wanted. 

She could hear him say “I’m his father and I was the one who was first called before he was transferred here.” 

The nurse’s response was “I cannot give out patient information unless you are listed as the primary contact and the patient is incapacitated.”

“I know he’s incapacitated, that’s what they already told me before they flew him here. I’ve already been told he’s here. I’m going to find out which room even if I have to check each and everyone myself.” Ash chided. The nurse laughed at his remark but unfortunately Mel knew he would do that. She tried to back herself around the corner without him seeing her but she wasn’t quick enough.

“Mel, my son’s friend, what are you doing here?” Mel wondered if he knew that she knew.

“Came to visit someone”

“Would that person be my son?” Mel didn’t know what to say. He did know that Clay was hurt and sent here.

“I don’t know what room he will be in or who his doctor is.”

“Well then I will wait with you. He is my son.” Ash made sure the nurses hear the last comment.

“I’m going to go to cafeteria and walk around til I hear anything.”  
“I will wait here in case there is any news while you go eat versus waiting for your friend. That’s not what a SEAL would do.” He chastised. She couldn’t let him get under her skin and she can’t have security escort him out because he hasn’t done anything to warrant that….yet. She’s hoping he will be long gone once Bravo team returns. Jason was trying to get them home sooner; stressing they can’t show effective military tactics while one man down. Mel knew Eric would be backing up Jason and he has more pull with getting things done. While walking around (she wasn’t hungry in the least) she had the 1st floor nurses station call Jean, the contact Jason gave her.   
“Jean, this is Mel. You spoke to Jason Hayes earlier today regarding our situation.”  
“Oh hello, Mel. Yes he did call and I know that Clays dad cannot be given information. We have two options, we can tell him the wrong floor and that will eat up some hours before he finds out we didn’t give him the right info or we wait till he gives us a reason to make him leave.”

“If he all of a sudden gets a room number after being denied vehemently, he may figure out we are playing him. Just continue to deny him any info and I will do my best to not have him follow me. Charlie team is going to take watch by the door but since Ash knows most of the men, we will actually have them sit inside the door so they cannot be seen from the hallway. Even if he didn’t know who they were, it would be pretty obvious that Clay is in the room being protected.”

“That a great idea. If you have any issues, call me. Oh, and he will be on the 7th floor, room 729, but it will be a while til he’s actually in the room. However, the doctor said he’d meet you once he got a chance to look Clay over to fill you in. I will call him and have him go to the room, that way you aren’t visible while you discuss his injuries.” 

After taking elevator to 5th floor she then walked to the stairs and went up the last two floors. She didn’t know if Ash had been watching or following her but she didn’t want to risk it. She only had to wait a few minutes before the doctor came in. Most of what Jason relayed to her she had repeated to her by the doctor. She learned he coded three times on the plane and is now in surgery to repair the damage to his upper right thigh to start with. He had a severe concussion even though he had been evaluated after he had passed out in pain. Checking his eyes with a light gave them all the info they needed.

“He is not out of the woods, but if the surgeries go like we hope, he will be stabilized. Once the anesthesia wears off, we will let him come to so we can determine if he has a TBI. If he’s in too much pain, we may put him back under to let his body heal some more. Depends on how surgery goes right now. Any questions?”

When Mel shook her head no, the doctor left the room to scrub in for surgery. There had been so much to take in she felt lost as she walked out of the room. When Mel looked up, she saw Ash in the waiting room, his eyes on her. 

“It’s hard to make sure everyone has the same info in a place this large.” 

She immediately knew he talked someone into giving up where Clay was. This was not going to be good when Charlie team arrives. She called Jean to let Charlie team know they don’t have to sit inside the door anymore if they don’t want to since Ash had found his son’s room. Mel’s phone rang just as she hung up with Jean. “Mel, this is Eric. Is there any news about his condition?” Mel filled him in on what the doctor told her as she left the waiting room, not wanting to be overheard.   
“Eric, someone gave Ash the room number. He’s sitting in the waiting room.”  
“Shit, should I call Jean?”  
“No, I already did. We can’t make him leave until he does something. If we can goad him into taking a swing, then we can have security escort him out. May not even have to be something physical, maybe just make a scene and cause disruption.”  
“I like the way you think, Mel.”

Hours later, both Ash and Mel were sitting it opposite sides of the waiting room when Clay’s doctor came back in to get Mel.

“Doctor, I’m Clay Spenser’s dad, I want to see him too.”

“I’m sorry but you are not allowed to visit him,” the doctor said, thinking that was the end of the conversation as he began to lead Mel to a private area.

“I am his legal next of kin. He’s not married. What reason do you have to keep me away? Did Clay tell you he didn’t want to see me?”

The doctor was getting impatient with the unruly man. “His CO made the decision and since this is a Navy hospital, the CO’s decision stands. Plus, aren’t you PNG?” Before Ash could say a word, the doctor took Mel into the ICU.

Despite the doctors warnings of what to expect, Mel still broke down when she walked into the room. She wished Bravo was here with her but until they finish deployment, she’s on her own. She knew he’d have a ventilator. She was told he was protecting his own airway but anytime they perform surgery, they do it as a precaution. With the extent of his injuries, they left him on the vent so his body didn’t have to work to breath. They have him sedated and will slowly wean him off in the days to come but theres no guarantee they won’t put him under again if his pain is too great or he’s unable to follow the doctors orders to heal. He won’t like just laying in bed for days on end so maybe keeping him sedated is a good thing right now. The damage is worse the farther down you go on his body. He has some nicks and bruises on his face but nothing needed stitches. Both shoulders were bruised, mostly on the backside from being thrown backwards landing on his back. There were numerous gashes on his chest and stomach. The bomb maker wanted to achieve maximum damage so they added nails and bolts, plus razors. One gash on his left side almost mirrors the scar on Sonny’s abdomen. A sheet, no bigger than a pillow case, heck maybe it is a pillow case, lay across his lap, sitting just below his hip bones and just barely covering the upper portion of his upper thighs. She knew Sonny would find it sexy as hell if he wasn’t hurt. A urine catheter snaked out from underneath the material. While he hadn’t broken his right leg, he severed many arteries and nerves plus has numerous deep gashes from impalements all requiring stitches or staples. His left leg wasn’t as bad off as his right leg, but still had traumatic injury to the arteries and nerves. Had Trent not been able to clamp several of the major arteries, he would have bled out right there in the street. 

That took the most time in surgery, reattaching those arteries and making sure he has use of the leg. Just how much use? It would be a while til they knew if he’d be able to operate again. He had to have a portion of liver removed due to damage, but not so much it will make any difference. Had they not done surgery, he could have died from internal bleeding. His shins have 2nd degree burns, along with patches of burns on his hands and forearms. Silvadene had been liberally applied then a thin sheet of gauze set on top to keep infection out. He was on two different antibiotics as he developed a slight fever but it could be from the stress his body is going through. She’s been told his back is mostly all bruised from landing backwards after being thrown in the air into a vehicle. The back of his ribs are bruised but thankfully no breaks and with no breaks means they don’t have to worry about a broken rib puncturing his lung. He had 3 different IV lines, one in each hand and then one in his neck, the jugular vein. That made her stomach turn the most. The doctor encouraged her to get closer to him. She was still standing in the doorway and didn’t realize she hadn’t moved since she laid eyes on him. 

“Talk to him, studies show some can hear those around them.”  
“Hey Clay, I’m here now. Sonny says to tell you that he loves you and to never forget that.” 

Mel felt awkward with the doctor standing behind her listening. 

“Do you have any questions? I know this is overwhelming but his chances of a full recovery are in his favor.”

“Will he be back to where he was before the blast? Oops, I shouldn’t have asked that,” she caught her own mistake, he didn’t need to hear the answer. 

The doctor motioned her step back out into the hallway. “I can’t answer whether he will be able to operate again, far too soon to say and it depends mostly on him and how he handles his recovery. He will make a full recovery in the sense that he will be able to do everyday normal things that the general population does. We will have his physical therapy geared to getting him back to Bravo but he can’t rush it. Sometimes pushing too hard is worse and delays dealing time. The hardest part for him will be the mental part. We have qualified staff that can talk with him but I’m sure he’d rather talk to someone he knows, sometimes even a conversation with a teammate can make all the difference. They often leave things unsaid and just assume, but his team needs to stay positive and rally around him, but not in patronizing ways. I will talk with all of them as to what to expect as well when I give CO Blackburn updates. For the few days, if we can take him off the sedatives, we will consider that progress. He won’t be awake much, maybe just a few minutes at a time.”

“Thank you doctor.” 

With that, the doctor turned on his heel and left Mel alone with Clay in his room. She tentatively put her right hand on top of his and with her left, she brushed his stray curls off his forehead. She could feel he had a temperature. 

“I’m right here. Eric is trying to get the team back sooner than 3 weeks. It hasn’t even been a full 24 hours since the bomb. Doctor said you can make a full recovery. It will just take some time.” Mel sat down on the chair and closed her eyes, her hand still on his. So many emotions were swirling around in her head. It’s hard enough to see him this way she couldn’t imagine how Bravo had had to see him, especially Sonny.   
A knock at the door had her up off the chair in an instant, startled by the noise. She was relieved to see Derek, the 2IC for Charlie team. He gave her a big hug despite them not knowing each other all that well. Derek let out a heavy sigh at the sight of a brother lying in a hospital bed with his body beaten up as badly as Clay’s was.

“I heard Ash has found the room, but Jason said not to let him in the room. Do you still want me to sit inside the door or would sitting outside the door reinforce with Ash that he’s not wanted?”

“I honestly don’t care. Outside is just fine, that way you don’t have to constantly be looking at him. I know it’s hard for you guys, the reality.” Mel told Derek.

“If I sit outside the door, it will give whoever is in here more privacy, doctor said to keep talking to him. Do you mind if I have a minute out of earshot?” Derek asked. “Alpha and Charlie have a schedule for staying with him until he wakes up, then see how it goes from there.”

“Thank you for offering to come now,” Mel said as she went towards the door so she couldn’t hear what Derek wanted to say to Clay.

“I want you to know that all of Charlie, Delta, Alpha and Echo are pulling for you. Wives already have a game plan in motion to take care of whatever you need while Bravo is deployed. Will do anything for Mel too, we will treat her like family. All you have to do is heal. Let us do the rest.” 

With that, Derek placed his right hand on the front of Clay’s shoulder gently and patted it twice. He wasn’t sure which part was least injured. He took the fold up chair outside the room and settled in, watching for Ash. Derek had wished Alpha could have gotten Clay as they were second in the draft. Jason dragged it out though and gave the other teams some hope they may pick someone else. However, Derek knows Clay is with the right team. They gelled right off the bat, it can take teams years to and some never do. He wished his team was as tight as Bravo.

He hadn’t sat for more than 15 minutes when he saw Ash slide up to the nurses station, eyeing Clay’s room. Derek didn’t think Ash knew who he was personally but he’d figure out he was a SEAL knowing the rest of Clay’s team was still deployed. It looked like Ash was trying to sweet talk the nurse. He overheard him say he’d like to take his son for a wheelchair ride around the hospital, that it would do him some good. The nurse looked at him like he was crazy, but she didn’t reveal any information and told him to talk with her supervisor. Derek knew the Philippines contacted Ash, but they must not have told him just how severe his injuries were. There’s no way he’d be up for a wheelchair ride. He wasn’t even conscious. Derek would have felt a little sorry for him had Ash not been a complete ass making Clay’s life hell from the start and then writing his books betraying the men he called brothers. Derek decided he needed to stop whatever his ploy was before it started.

“Hey, you are Ash Spenser, the SEAL that wrote a couple books about his missions.” Derek faked being awestruck and interested. 

“Well yes I am,” he told Derek as well as made sure the nursing staff heard him as well. “I was a SEAL who still holds many records, some say there isn’t anyone who could get close to breaking them.” Ash gloated.  
“I’m a friend of your son’s. Had hoped to visit him but they aren’t letting anyone in to see him. Maybe you should head home and get some rest.” Derek said, hopeful, but doubtful Ash would do so.   
“A friend of my son’s? I could tell you some pretty embarrassing stories about Clay and some real white knuckle fly by the seat of your pants mission stories too. It should be you going home. I’m his dad and haven’t been in to see him yet. Still running tests they say. What’s your name Son?”

“I’m Derek, 2IC for Alpha team, asked by CO Blackburn to keep watch over who visits Clay.”

“Just 2IC? I was leader of my team. And what do you mean by keeping watch over Clay? I’m his father. If I can’t see him how the hell can you? You aren’t blood. I bet Master Chief Hayes is behind this. When I get my hands on him……” Ash trailed off as his temper rose. The rumors were true that he could be a hot headed narcissist.

“I bet if you go ask Clay if I could have even just a minute with him, he would let me.”

“That’s not possible and yes, I can keep you from going into that room. You will have to assault me to get through those doors and if you do that, security will have you banned from this hospital completely.”

Ash’s demeanor changed when he realized Derek was probably right. At least if he’s waiting outside his room he can still hear parts of conversations to find out how he is as well as information about what they were doing in the Phillipines anyway. All of this would make great content for another book.

“Oh, and by the way, there is a SEAL who will best every record you still hold, all they have to do is change the first name,” Derek chided as he walked back to his chair, needing to text Jason.

“Well from the rumors I’ve heard, he may not operate again.”

Derek just shook his head, completely speechless that Clay’s own father would take delight in his sons injuries. It’s becoming clearer and clearer why Bravo is so protective of their Kid. Jason had told him that Clay had no idea what family really was and Derek didn’t quite understand that til this moment. Now that he knows what it’s like to have a family, they have to protect him from his own dad. Clay has the potential to be the next “Jason.” Some other SEALs don’t care for Jason but they can’t argue with his success rate. There isn’t anyone in teams that wouldn’t roll with him. They may not care for him, but he’s damn good at his job. Derek thinks Clay may even be better than Jason having been given the chance to be in Bravo before he was even 30. He’s so far the youngest SEAL to be drafted to a Tier One team. That gives him more time to hone his skills. That is if he can go back to operating. Derek shoved that thought aside just as quickly as it entered his mind. He can’t be thinking like that.

‘Ash is on the floor, can’t make him leave, has to do something in order for security to remove him.’

‘Does breathing count as doing something?’ Derek was glad Jason had some sort of humor about this all, even if it’s dark humor.

Mandy’s lead from the bombing took her back stateside. While there, she stopped in to see Clay. It had only been 3 days since the bombing, but she had done as much ground work as she could in Manila.

“The doctor said to talk to him, that he may be able to hear us.” Mel told her as Clay continued to be under sedation. The plan was to start backing off the meds the next morning.

“Jesus, they could at least cover him up and give him his dignity.” Mandy cursed. 

She searched all the cupboards for something bigger than a pillowcase but came up empty, just as Mel had. Staff said anything else would get in the way of tending to his injuries. She took the chair next to the bed and gently put her hand on Clay’s forearm. The sting of tears burned her eyes. This was the price she had to pay when she allowed herself to get close to Bravo.

“How am I ever going to learn Pashtu without my teacher?” Mandy asked with a weak smile knowing she wouldn’t be getting an answer.

“Clay, I….we……not just Bravo….we need you to be okay. What you’ve brought to Bravo is more than just your skill set. I don’t know…..why or how…..it all came together after you, but it did. More important than operating though….is Sonny. I want you to hold on….never out of the fight…stay with us for Sonny. He needs you….we all need you,” Mandy’s voice cracked as a few tears slipped out. She quickly swiped them away as her phone buzzed. Mel knew the look, she had to go.

“Please keep me updated on Clay….and Sonny please.” Mel nodded her head.

She decided to call Sonny to give him an update, or lack of an update as nothing had changed. She also wanted to tell him Mandy had stopped by.

As soon as Sonny picked up, Mel said, “Clay’s okay, no change, Mandy stopped by to check on him.” She could hear Sonny blow out the breath he had obviously been holding.

“I thought maybe I could put you on speaker phone and you could talk to Clay. Doctor says sometimes patients report they can hear those around him.”

“Ain’t that kinda weird?”

“Doesn’t matter if it’s weird or not, Clay should hear your voice if he’s able to.”

Always right, he let Mel switch the phone to speaker and put it near Clay’s ear. Having it on speaker would make it louder for Clay to hear. Mel could hear Sonny telling the other guys what he was doing, so they all hushed.

“Hey there Kid. You pull through this and maybe I will stop with some of the nicknames I have for you. Not all of them though.” Sonny tried to laugh at his own remark, then got serious. 

“You were with me the whole time…….. I was in that torpedo tube even though we weren’t together yet. I want…..desperately want to be there right now……. with you as you fight….. for your life. Please stay strong for me, I don’t know……. I just don’t know what I’d do… if I lost you. I….I love you Baby….I love you more than I ever thought possible” Sonny sniffed, his words thick with emotion as he tried to talk. 

He swiped a stray tear from his cheek, hastily giving the phone to Jason to say something. Sonny choked back his sobs, unable to say anything else to Clay. Trent crossed the room and pulled Sonny into him. At first, Sonny fought his hold, his body fidgeting at the lack of intel needed to get justice for Clay, but Trent persisted and wrangled his arms around the Texan. Sonny buried his face in the crook of Trents shoulder as he no longer held back his cries. He could feel his shoulder getting wet, but didn’t move Sonny. None of them had ever seen Sonny this emotional before. Is this how he felt when Marcus lay in critical condition following his training accident before his body couldn’t fight any longer?

Jason turned his attention back to the phone. “Hey, Kid. We are trying to get to you as soon as we can, even if all we can get are a couple days til our deployment is over. You belong with us…..We love you….all of us.” Jason then spoke to Mel. 

“Thank you Mel for being there, Eric is trying to get us stateside sooner than 3 weeks, even if it’s just a short visit. Will let you know.” Jason hung up Sonny’s phone just as Sonny’s knees buckled. Thankfully, Trent had a hold of him and could ease them both to the floor, their backs now to the wall. The sobs became piercing cries which tore at each team members own heart. Jason sat down next to Sonny and pulled him over sideways until his head rested on Jason’s thigh. Jason rubbed circles on Sonny’s back feeling his body tremble. This was the worst possible scenario his team had been in since Clay and Sonny got together, but that may be what motivates Clay to hang on.

“I’m….sorry…Jace….sorry…---“ Jason cut Sonny off as Sonny tried to catch his breath and speak at the same time.

“Nothing to be sorry for, the blame is on the bombers, and only them.”

Sonny shook his head a bit while still on Jason’s thigh. “No, I’m sorry….for crying…like this…I couldn’t….keep it…in.”

“Sonny, what happens in this room stays in this room. If one of us were in the same situation, we’d be holding onto you for support, okay?” 

Sonny nodded and Jason finished with, “Take your time to collect yourself, we can get our dinners to go and bring them back here. I will grab yours.”

“I’m not hungry,” Sonny mumbled.

“You are going to eat. If we’ve got to continue training the military, I can’t have you passing out on the hills. If we get sent home early, I need you to be in the best shape you can be to take care of him, you hear?”

Again, Sonny nodded, knowing Jason was right. 

6 days after the bombing, Clay still hadn’t been woken up. The doctors had kept him sedated longer to better control his vitals, but the plan was to wean him off those meds in the morning, just 12 hours from now. Mel could hear the voice of Ash who she thought got the hint he wasn’t welcome. She could see he was talking to the nurse at the station from the doorway of Clay’s room. Derek was in the restroom, which was no accident Ash showed up at that exact time.

“I know Derek, he won’t mind if I go in with him. They said 2 could go at a time so there’s room for me.”

“Don’t even think about going in his room.” The strong direct voice made Ash turn around, but he already knew who it belonged to.

“So now you are keeping me from my son? Why are you even back? Thought you all were deployed.”

“Got a few days off. You lost rights to that kid after you deserted him by dumping him off in Liberia, told him he was worthless and you were embarrassed he has your last name. He should be embarrassed of you.”

“He is my flesh and blood, you aren’t.”

“Doesn’t matter, we are his family now, I’m his CO and don’t forget this is a Navy hospital so we do things different, or did you forget that since you are PNG status?” Jason asked, chest to chest with the man who caused so much chaos in his youngest team members life.

Both men were startled back to their surroundings when alarms began to blare. The rest of Bravo had just gone into Clay’s room while Jason dealt with Ash. In an instant Jason was to the door, Ash completely forgotten about.

“Get the doctor now!” Trent yelled while simultaneously pushing the call light. Jason dashed down to the nurses station and thankfully Clay’s doctor was still on shift. “What’s going on? What happened?”

“I don’t know. Alarms went off. Trent said to get you.” Jason reported.  
Sonny had frozen, he didn’t know what all the machines were trying to tell them. Cerb had jumped up on the bed and rested over Clay’s feet. He knew his boy needed him.

The doctor quickly assessed him before saying, “His temp is spiking, 103.2, the current antibiotics are not working. We need to take him for scans to see if any sutures opened up internally allowing infection to set in. His blood pressure has gone up as well as his respirations.” Two nurses that followed the doctor in quickly got Clay ready for transport. Sonny fought the panic rising in him as he reached for Clay’s hand. When they were in the hallway, Sonny smoothed back Clay’s curls on his forehead. There was no time to get Ash out of there before he saw Clay wheeled down the hallway but Jason, Brock and Trent weren’t going to let him anywhere within touching distance from him. At the end of the hallway, the team had to leave their Kid. Ash watched as Sonny leaned down and kissed Clay’s forehead. He could tell he was saying something but he couldn’t hear him. Ash was glad he had picked up on reading lips during his time in the Navy because what he read on Sonny’s lips was, ‘I love you, Baby.’ As soon as Clay went through the doors, Ash’s head was swirling with thoughts as he slumped against the nearest wall. 

“How did they not know he was this bad in Phillipines?” Ash asked no one in particular as he took in just how severe his son’s injuries truly were. He thought they were just training the military there. At least that is what his inside source had told him. Ash smirked when he realized he had the makings of another book. He’d explore whether homosexuality has any place in DEVGRU using his own son as the main character. Jason thought he had the upper hand over Ash, but the tides just turned. He would make Jason regret the day he went up against Ash Spenser.


	11. Is the Secret Out, Again?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash believes he sees more than just a friendship between his son and team member Sonny Quinn when he runs into the team back on furlough to see Clay. When the team goes back to finish deployment, another crisis erupts on the home front but again, it all lands on Clay until Bravo is done with deployment. 3 days left can feel like 3 years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter talks about a death (not on BRAVO) but gives no details, wanted to stay as true to what we all saw and felt during a specific episode.

Chapter :11 Is the Secret Out, Again?

Sonny sat in the chair next to Clay’s hospital bed. His team had to go back to Manila for another 10 days per Shaw, who wasn’t making their lives easy. Eric was surprised when Shaw approved their 3 day furlough back to the states. Eric stressed that his men needed it to refocus their attention to the task at hand. Shaw realized he was working with a highly volatile group of SEALs already, he didn’t want his decision not to send them to see their rookie be the fuel to ignite that volatility. He may be considering disbanding Bravo, but he didn’t want to lose any of the men to a dishonorable discharge from a bar fight brought on by their need for revenge.

“I’m only gonna be gone 10 days, then we can be together every day…if you want….for 2 weeks,” Sonny told Clay as Clay’s eyelids flickered open then shut, then open again, constantly repeating as he tried to stay awake while Sonny was there. Sonny didn’t know what all Clay will remember from the past few days, if even anything, as the doctors have been weaning him off the sedation, but he wanted to reassure his love that he would be back. He had only a thin sheet covering him from mid chest down. He now had a PICC line in his left bicep, an IV line still in his jugular and just 1 IV line in one of his hands. Clay’s normally taught body looked like a sack of potatoes as he was barely strong enough to lift his arms. Aside from wiggling his toes to make sure his legs were still there, he had been motionless from the waist down except when PT came around to do precise movements to rebuild lost connections. Once that was done, he could go to “regular” PT. 

Clay looked broken lying there in the hospital bed. Sonny was struggling to keep himself composed as he looked down at the man he loved in the condition that he was in. He replays the bombing for the umpteenth time wondering if there was something he should have done different. Should he have made Clay help with the two boys instead of handing them off? Should he have handed the kids off to someone else and follow Clay? Should he have realized there could be a chance of a secondary explosion? Should he have pulled Clay aside and tell him to cool his jets, that his ‘itch’ won’t be scratched while they do training so to just ignore it? Should he have never told Clay what he did while in the submarine? Just because he wouldn’t change a thing and was all in didn’t mean you had to be to be a tier one operator. Ray makes it work. Jason and Alana made it work for a while.

Clay slowly turned his head towards Sonny, pulling Sonny from his thoughts, intent on saying what he was feeling. He put his un-tethered hand over Sonny’s that was gripping the bed rail. Sonny put his free hand over top. Sonny leaned in as Clay began to speak, barely above a whisper.

“If I can’t..” Clay started before Sonny interrupted him.

“Don’t say ‘can’t. We are gonna get you back to operating,” Sonny said with conviction.

“Please stop.” Sonny kept quiet, anxiously waiting for Clay to continue.

“If I can’t operate….after this….will you still…..look at me….the same way?”

Sonny wasn’t shocked by the question. Clay knew him being a SEAL was a turn on for Sonny, his physical fitness made Sonny want to get the two alone every chance he got, but there more to Clay than just the outside.

“Clay, I won’t ever stop loving you, you could leave the Navy and I’d still want to be with you,” Sonny answered truthfully.

Relief spread across the younger mans face as he continued to lose the battle with sleep. It broke Sonny’s heart that Clay still lacked confidence in their relationship. It would take time to make him understand he wasn’t going to leave him no matter how this all turned out. It took Clay almost a full year to discover what family was suppose to be after being brought up the way he was.

“Go to sleep, you need your rest,” Sonny told Clay as he leaned over and kissed Clays cheek as Clays eyelids closed so he could get some shut-eye despite knowing Sonny would probably be gone when he woke up. 

“Well, what do we have here?” The question came from the doorway. Ash saw anger light up Sonny’s eyes as he realized he had been caught being intimate with Ash’s son.

“You don’t know what you saw,” Sonny angrily spat as he shoved Ash out of the doorway and into the hall not wanting to wake up Clay. He didn’t need to worry about this on top of his recovery. 

“What I saw is you turning my son gay,” Ash replied, a smirk on his face that Sonny wanted to wipe off with a quick punch to his jaw, but he restrained himself. He was not going to ruin his career over someone as pathetic as Ash. 

“We’re heading back to Manila, was telling him goodbye, like brothers do,” Sonny retorted trying to hit Ash below the belt regarding Ash’s lack of compassion for his old teammates he was selling out by writing his books. 

“You did the same thing 3 days ago and then you told him you loved him before they took him for scans. Perk of being a SEAL is I picked up reading lips.”

Sonny didn’t have a chance to reply before Brock came around the corner. As soon as he saw Ash, he lunged at him, pushing him back against the wall with one hand on his neck and the other clenched in a fist.

“Get the hell out of here. You aren’t supposed to be in Clay’s room,” Brock said through gritted teeth. Sonny stepped closer to Brock, putting a hand on his raised fist telling him Ash wasn’t worth it. Ash didn’t help himself when he cockily replied that he never went into the room, that he saw everything he needed from the hall.

Brock was confused, but he wouldn’t allow Ash to see him that way.

“Cat got your tongue Sonny? Does your team even know about you and Clay?” Ash goaded.

Sonny did not want to confirm Clay’s sexuality to his dad, but he struggled with what to say next. Thankfully Brock interjected as he tightened his grip around the older man’s neck.

“SEALs shouldn’t jump to conclusions. If I hear you were back here after Bravo flies out, I will sic Cerb on you when we get back. Don’t think I won’t.”

“You’d risk a dishonorable discharge for my homosexual son?” Ash felt uncomfortable saying that about his son who he had never once thought of as gay. He sure as hell hadn’t known Sonny was too.

“I’d lay my life down for any of my teammates. You should have learned that when you were in DEVGRU.”

Brocks hold was making it hard for Ash to breathe as he told the two that he won’t come back to the hospital. He knew that would get him away from Brocks grip. As Ash walked down the hall, Jason, Ray and Trent were heading their way down the other side. 

“Is that Ash? That son of a bitch,” Jason growled as he tried to catch up with the man, but Brock stepped in front of him. Annoyed, Jason tried to push past his teammate but Brock held his ground.

“I already dealt with him, he won’t be back.”

Sonny had taken a seat in the tiny waiting area across from Clay’s room and sat silently, elbows on his knees with his head in his hands. Trent noticed and sat on one side while Ray sat on the other side.

“Hey, he’s gonna be okay. We will be back in 10 days,” Ray reminded Sonny as he put a hand on his shoulder.

“He’s gonna need a lot of help when he first gets home,” Trent told Sonny. “We will have a solid two weeks off before we go back on rotation.”

“It’s not about leaving him, I get we have to finish deployment, but Ash….he saw….me kiss Clay’s cheek. I didn’t know he was here. Said he saw me……when Clay tanked and had to go for scans. He said he could read lips, knows I said……said I love you to Clay.”

By this time, Jason and Brock had joined the new conversation. 

“Did you confirm it?” Jason asked hesitantly.

“No, told him it’s what ‘brothers’ do, something he wouldn’t understand……but, I don’t think he bought it,” Sonny answered.

“He said Sonny turned his son gay,” Brock finished, wanting Jason to know all the facts before he makes a decision of what to do.

“We can talk about this on the plane. We are wheels up in 30. We were coming here to say goodbye and get you Sonny,” Jason informed Bravo 3.

All of the men walked into Clay’s room when they saw his eyes were open. 

“Damn you guys are loud, like a herd of buffalo,” Clay weakly complained, but a hint of a smile lit up his face. He was glad he didn’t sleep through them leaving.

Trent, Brock and Ray each said their encouraging words before they left the room. Jason told the Kid they’d be back soon as Sonny told him he loved him again. Before they left his bedside, Clay spoke up.

“It’s not my decision to make. It’s both of your careers. I’m not concerned if Ash knows about me, but I don’t want it to impact either of you,” 

It was obvious Clay had heard the entire conversation out in the hallway, or at least enough to understand what was going on. 

“We can talk about it when we get back in 10 days. Decide TOGETHER what we want to do. Ash shouldn’t be back to the hospital before we come home,” Jason tried to reassure his youngest team member. “See you in 10 days.”

Sonny’s mind was a swirl of thoughts and feelings as he walked to the tarmac. He was not sure how to deal with it all. He wanted to be open so they didn’t have to hide their love anymore, but he knew there could be major consequences for them all, especially Jason who allowed the relationship to go on between two team members. Now that Ash knew, it created a whole other list of potential ramifications. 

7 days later, 3 days til Bravo is back stateside

“Mel, how is Clay doing?”

“You know we can’t talk about him. We agreed,” Mel said into the phone, reminding Jason that she was going to let Clay deal with his injury however he wants and if he doesn’t want to make contact, then he doesn’t want to.

“Sonny’s crawling walls wanting to hear from him.”

“Then tell him to contact Clay himself. Expect radio silence til he’s out of the hospital.”

“I’m sorry Mel, I shouldn’t be leaning on you, we are just worried.”

“Swanny and I are too, but one of us is always with him,”

Beeeeeep Beeeeeep Beeeeeep

“I’ve got to go Mel, call you when I can.” With that, Jason hung up and shook his head no towards Sonny. Jason could see the concern in his 3’s eyes.

“We’ve got a mission, get focused.

Back home, Mel clicked off on her phone.

“Thank you,” Clay whispered as he looked out the window. “I will call them when I get home. Should be before they get back.”

Mel didn’t respond as Swanny rolled a wheelchair in to get Clay ready for PT.

“Is Pretty Boy ready for his therapy?” Swanny asked loudly as he put the locks on the chair next to Clay’s bed. Clay would never admit it, but having Swanny there had pulled him away from the clutches of giving up more times than once.

“PT is the only time I actually feel alive, lets get going.” Clay responded as he tried to maneuver himself over to his chair. 

Swanny didn’t bring up the fact that he had to help Clay when his legs gave out when he stood. Swanny lifted Clay to get him in the wheelchair so the two could get to PT.

“You should have used you walker,” Swanny stated.

“I don’t need it to transfer.” The way Clay said it meant end of discussion. Swanny just winked at Mel then focused his attention back on the task at hand.

Sweaty and tired, Clay sat back down in the wheelchair while his physical therapist, Swanny and Mel met. He figured if it was important, they’d eventually tell him, which happened just a moment later.

“You are going home.” The therapist said. Clays eyes were wide as he looked at Mel, Swanny and his therapist.

Swanny left to go to Clay’s place to pick up some of the items Clay needed since Swanny was still living there. Mel wanted to take Clay to Sonny’s place since she lives there now and Clay spends time there. She wanted to get Clay settled before Sonny gets back.

Mel helped Clay out of the vehicle then gave him his walker to slowly make it up the drive. He barely had enough energy to get to his bed so Mel had to undress him. She got Clay to sit up to pull his shirt off before lowering himself down. 

“I want to call the guys,” Clay said.

“Now? Don’t you want to sleep?” Mel asked.

“Now.” 

Mel handed Clay his phone from her bag and he dialed Sonny’s number on facetime.”

Mel excused herself to give Clay some privacy, but she could still hear some of the conversation. 

“Sorry I didn’t-“ “Don’t apolo-“ “I needed time to-“ “Stop…Stop….I love you.” “Love you too, Babe.” “Hey guys! Look who I’ve got here!” Mel smiled knowing that Clay was going to get to see the rest of his team. Several male voices talked over each other. “Good to see you!” “Wish you were here,” You are here… with us always.” 

“Hey guys, I just wanna……say……I’m sorry for not calling sooner, didn’t want to til I got to go home,” Clay continued. “I uh….I uh need to get some rest…..you guys back in 3 days?”

“Planning on it, but you know how things go.”

“Hey, get some sleep, call us tonight, love you.” Call ended.

“Mel can you help me please?”

When Mel walked into the bedroom Clay was trying to unbuckle his jeans but having trouble standing. She put her hands on his hips to steady him while he unzipped his pants. He grabbed the cane that he had been approved to use at home indoors to start and moved towards the bathroom. He looked over his shoulder asking, “Coming? I can’t go myself.”

“I got him,” Swanny said. He had just walked in the front door with a bag for Clay. “I’ve been helping him in the hospital.”

“I thought you had your appt at the VA today?” Clay asked.

“No, that’s tomorrow, Thursday.”

Mel and Clay just looked at each other.

“No, Swanny, today is Thursday. Let me piss and get dressed then I will go with you,” Clay said. Mel began to protest but Clay shook his head at her. Clay knew it was better if a ‘brother’ went with him.

“I can go myself,” Swanny said, who seemed confused. Actually, Mel had been picking up on some confusion and short term memory issues the past few weeks. She had gone to Clay’s apartment to get a few things a week ago as she couldn’t get ahold of Swanny. When she went inside, she saw an array of post it notes from when to take medication to turning the stove off before leaving. 

“I’m going with you,” Clay said, clearly tired but knew this was important to his friend.

Turning his attention to Mel, he said, “We will be back later.”

“YODO,” Swanny called out as he shut the front door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was very disappointed that Sonny was a temporary character, I really like him, but that was probably the point so when he commits suicide, the audience feels it more, makes a bigger impact. I didn't see it coming like that. 
> 
> I try to keep some facts from the actual show running through my story, even if I have to tweak them a bit.


	12. Ash's Third Book

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team deals with the loss of a brother as well as Ash's new TV appearance to discuss his rewritten Third Book

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The loss as mentioned in the summary is not one of the guys on BRAVO team

Chapter: 12 Ash's Third Book

Mel drove Clay to the tarmac as they waited with other families. Emma and Mikey hopped off their dads tailgate to give Mel and Clay hugs. As the worn out team of Bravo descended the ramp, their eyes searched for their loved ones. Sonny walked through the crowd of people straight to Clay and gave him a hug, he wants to do so more, but they can’t be out in public like this. While the team knows about Clay and him, support staff and the wives don’t. The pair holds onto each other a bit longer than they should. Pulling back and holding Clay out at arms length, Sonny tells Clay they got the guy that set the bombs. When he tells Clay the HVT was taken alive, it shocked him, but ht knew there had to be a reason for that. At least they got the guy.

When Jason came over to hug the Kid, Jason pulled Mel in with them. 

“Damn, it feels good to be home,” Jason said as he took in a deep breath reveling in being back stateside.

“When is Swanny’s funeral?” Jason asked.

“9 a.m. tomorrow, Bravo has been asked to carry the casket and Brett’s family asked Clay to say a few words,” Mel informed Jason.

Clay was silent the rest of the drive to Sonny and Mel’s place. He didn’t want to go to his place. He knew there would be things of Swanny’s he didn’t want to deal with yet. Mel went into her room to pick out clothes for the funeral, but mostly to give Sonny and Clay some space. Once the initial shock wore off, Clay shut himself off emotionally, becoming as hard as a rock the past 3 days. Sonny sat down next to Clay on the couch and kissed his temple before leaning his forehead into where he had just planted his lips.

“It’s me Clay, you can talk to me,” Sonny urged.

Sonny wasn’t prepared for Clay to melt into his arms and tremble as he whimpered, which then turned to sobs. “I should have known….how bad off he was……I saw him almost…..every day……If I hadn’t waited…..for his….for his meds….if my leg would have let me walk faster, maybe….maybe he wouldn’t have….How could he do this?”

Sonny doesn’t have the answers and doesn’t want to try to placate or patronize Clay.

“How about a hot soak in some Epsom salts? Help calm you down.” Sonny suggested.

“Will you join me? I don’t want to be alone.”

“Sure thing.”

“Everytime I’m on my own, something bad happens,” Clay said quietly, but Sonny still heard him and it crushed the Texan to the core. 

Sonny handed Clay his cane but still took his free arm. Clay hooked the cane over the side off the tub as he tried to get undressed, which was difficult in his condition still. Sonny stripped Clay down completely, but was taken aback by the sight of his right thigh. It was the first time he had seen the damage. A chunk of muscle was missing above the knee and towards the inside. He quickly schooled his face back to neutral but not before Clay caught his look.

“Hey, I don’t care about scars. I’ve got plenty of them myself. This won’t change anything.” After Sonny helped Clay slip down into the tub, Sonny shed his clothes and slid in behind Clay. Clay leaned back into Sonny’s chest, closing his eyes. Sonny wrapped his arms around Clays waist with Clay’s arms above his. 

“I’m so glad we’re back….couldn’t have gone another day….this feels good,” Sonny murmured in Clay’s ear.

As the water cooled down, Sonny pulled himself out and dried off quickly then wrapped a towel around his waist. Sonny leaned down and pulled Clay up under the arms. Sonny could tell Clay had stiffened up from being in one position for that long. Clay held onto the tub with both hands while Sonny dried Clay off. When he tried to take pressure off his good leg so Sonny could dry it, his knee buckled on his bad leg while it tried to hold his entire body weight. Sonny scooped him up in his arms like a groom would his bride. The fact that they had to use Mel’s bathroom as it was the only one with a tub meant a walk across the living room like this. Clay tried to get Sonny to put him down, but Clay also realized he wasn’t in as much pain as he had been when he was on his feet. It was still awkward, made slightly less by Sonny and he having a relationship. The guys were used to carrying their brothers, usually not like this though since it’s not tactically advantageous. Red crept up into Clay’s cheeks as Sonny laid him down in his bed. Neither had boxers on yet and for as tired as they both were for different reasons, they couldn’t care less if they slept in the nude because sleep is exactly what they would be doing. Sonny laid on his side and wrapped an arm over Clay while Clay laid on his back and tightly held the hand that Sonny had across him.

A few short hours later, all 3 of their phones started beeping. It was a text from Ray saying that Ash was on TV talking about Swanny and how he deserved a purple heart. Clay and Sonny missed the first bit as they got shorts on and out to the living room as quickly as Clay could. 

“So, is this your next book? Does that make number 3?”

“Why yes it does, however I have gone back through and made heavy revisions, almost to the point the entire book is rewritten,” Ash responded, smiling at the newscaster.

“What does the book now cover?”

No one on the team, or Mel, expected his answer despite Ash having witnessed a tender moment between his son and Sonny.

“The book will be about the rules and regulations regarding relationships amongst sailors, specifically the homosexual men in the Navy who are on the same team. It will cover the negative consequences of their decision and how that impacts their fellow sailors.”

“Why not target the female homosexual population, too?”

“There are far fewer women in the Navy than men and women have yet been able to fight on the front lines, It’s those front line positions, which we call tip of the spear, that are at the greatest risk if there is a homosexual relationship amongst that team.”

“I’m assuming most men won’t be open to discussing this topic. How are you going to be able to evaluate your hypothesis?”

“Oh, it is not a hypothesis, it’s fact. I have what you would call an inside source.”

“That all the time we have today. Thank you for stopping by Ash Spenser, former SEAL team 6 member turned author. I look forward to reading more of your work.”


	13. Sonny Saves Ash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny confronts Ash but then all hell breaks loose. An explosion at the hospital means Sonny has to put his hatred for Ash aside and deal with the disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a while to get this chapter up. I started half a dozen ideas and nothing felt quite right until I decided to go the route I chose. Not much for whump but this chapter doesn't lend itself to that. The next chapter will though! Don't worry

Chapter 13: Sonny Saves Ash

Sonny was sitting just inside the building entrance near the therapy room while Clay started working with his therapist. Clay didn’t like when anyone watched him, even Sonny, to see his weakness. He was lost in his own head thinking about the tv interview last night and what the team was going to do about it that he didn’t even realize Ash Spenser had walked down the hallway to peek into the PT room. When Ash walked closer to Sonny to leave the building, he stopped mid step when Sonny turned to look down the hallway. Sonny was on his feet and to Ash before Ash could utter a single word. Sonny grabbed him by the throat and shoved him against the wall. Ash squirmed, trying all the tactics he knew from being a SEAL, but Sonny thwarted every effort. 

“You son a bitch, how could you try to ruin your son again,” Sonny ground out between gritted teeth.

“I needed…..something…..for book sales…..needed….drama or….get dropped.”

“So you were going to sell out numerous operators that are currently protecting your ass? You are scum of the earth!” 

As much as Sonny wanted to throttle the man, pummel him to the ground, he had to keep in mind that he couldn’t risk his career. As he started to loosen his grip, the ground shook as a loud ‘BOOM’ echoed in the hallway. The walls around them imploded while the ceiling rained down on them. Sonny threw himself over Ash, an instinct to protect the vulnerable, even though he despised the man he was laying on. 

When the shaking stopped and the ceiling seemed to quit falling, Sonny realized he and Ash were trapped. Ash was moaning and grabbing for his leg. Sonny found a slab of the floor had fallen on the lower half of his leg, most likely breaking it. He also had a deep cut on the thigh of the same leg that was pinned. Sonny pulled his belt off and quickly made a tourniquet around Ash’s thigh to stem the bleeding. 

“Get it off me, Sonny take it off,” Ash groaned looking down at his leg.

“It may hurt worse if I take it off,”

“Just do it,” Ash begged.

Sonny crouched and placed his hands under the slab and lifted, his muscles straining at the weight, as Ash tried to pull his leg out, panting in pain. Once clear, Ash turned his focus to Sonny.

“You are bleeding, lots of places. Head, left upper arm and left shoulder,” Ash told Sonny. 

Sonny stripped his shirt off that was beginning to soak through with blood. He used his teeth and tore the shirt into three sections. He had Ash wrap one strip around his upper arm like a tourniquet. He used one strip to wipe the blood from above his left eye down to his ear lobe on the side of his face. The last strip he held over his left shoulder, specifically over his trapezius as he scanned the damage all around them. The slabs were far too heavy to move and even if he could get out of their tiny pocket, it didn’t mean he’d be able to go get help. They didn’t know how far this extended. Sonny reached for his cell phone but it said no signal. Of course it did! It’s just like how comms always go out when they are searching for Clay or Clay is hurt.

“Clay,” Sonny whispered, hanging his head and closing his eyes. 

Clay was already hurt, he may not be able to take any more injuries.

“I have to get to him,” Sonny stated with conviction. 

When he turned to look back at Ash, he saw Ash was pale and starting to shake a bit, like he was cold. While the tourniquet slowed the bleeding, a fair amount was still squirting out. Sonny took the two strips of his shirt and wadded one up to put over the cut then used the other to tie in place the wadded one on Ash’s leg. 

“Ash stay with me,” Sonny told the older man while tapping him on the face. “Gotta stay with me.” 

Sonny got Ash on his back and the rubble he had pulled off Ash’s leg he used to prop both of Ash’s legs on it. Ash screamed in agony when his leg was moved, panting harder. 

“Damnit Sonny. Leave it alone!”

“I have to get your legs up, that leg will hurt whether its up or not so suck it up buttercup,” Even as the words rolled out of his mouth, he knew just how badly Ash was feeling and he did have a bit of empathy.

Sonny checked his phone again, but no change. He began to explore the tiny pocket they were encased in to see if anything was loose and light enough to move out of the way. One large piece, far too heavy to lift, did wiggle as Sonny jerked it back and forth. He thought he was making progress, but Ash’s blood curdling scream made him turn his attention back to the elder Spenser. 

“Cut it, you need to cut it open,” Ash yelled, pointing to his lower leg. 

Sonny had seen compartment syndrome before and knew he had to relieve the pressure if he wanted to give Ash a fighting chance to not lose that limb or suffer more consequences like tissue loss that can come along with this diagnosis. The swelling in the lower leg had already begun. He knew pushing fluids was a must til Ash could be seen by a doctor but that wasn’t an option, and even if it were, would there be any doctors around to help. He and Ash were towards the exit of the building and the blast came from within the center. 

“I’ve gotta relieve the pressure, Ash.”

Ash knew exactly what that meant and didn’t argue, just laid his head back and hoped he’d be rendered unconscious. Sonny pulled his knife from his pocket and held Ash’s leg down at the knee. Ash being a former SEAL was an advantage in this situation. He’d stay still if he knows this is what has to be done. 

Sonny began the fasciotomy from Ash’s knee to his ankle. Ash was passed out just a few inches in, which Sonny was thankful for. No one deserved to have their leg cut open with no pain meds in unsterile conditions with a pocket knife.   
Sonny swiped the blood trickling down his face as he took off his under shirt and wrapped it around Ash’s freshly opened calf. He settled back on his heels and swiped at the blood once again as it continued dripping down his face. When the blood slowed, he went back to moving the slab back and forth as he had been doing before Ash needed treatment. 

“AARRRGGGHHH,” Sonny bellowed as he forced the slab forward using all his strength even though his shoulder and bicep felt like they were on fire. 

He was beginning to get dizzy but kept working. One slab moved, move the next, slide one over to get to the next. Being a large guy, he wished it was Ash who was heading through this “tunnel.” After what felt like hours but was really just 20 minutes, Sonny found his way to daylight. Daylight inside a building wasn’t good though when you should see a ceiling, not the sun. He looked towards the PT room and raced to it, thankful it didn’t seem to have imploded like the hallway, but still sustained some damage. 

“Clay! Clay!” Sonny hollered after he busted open the door that was stuck due to pressure from the falling ceiling. Sonny had yet to find a door he couldn’t breach. Sonny found Clay, his physical therapist and his doctor all huddled in the far corner, Clay in front of them all in a protective and defensive stance. Even injured, he had a better chance than the others to ward off danger.

Sonny grabbed Clay and hugged him hard, probably too hard. 

“Son, you are injured,” Clay said as he took in his mate.

“Your dad, he’s hurt real bad, I will show you where,” Sonny told the doctor, but all 3 followed him. 

Clay wasn’t sure why Sonny and Ash had been together when this happened but he knew this wasn’t the right time to ask. Sonny began listing off all that happened and what he had done. With 3 able men now, the rubble could be moved easier. Sonny made Clay stay back and make phone calls.

“Report is boiler explosion, but not convinced it wasn’t tampered with. You good?” Jason asked as he was just a few blocks from the hospital. As soon as he heard, he got in his truck. He knew Clays therapy schedule probably better than Clay.

“Sonny is here too, he’s hurt, couple cuts and got hit in the head. He’s up and walking, said he felt a little dizzy though.” 

“I will be right there,” Jason told Clay as he went to end the call.  
“Wait, my dad was here too, he and Sonny got trapped together.” Clay can hear the deep breath Jason took on the other line. 

“Is Ash hurt because of Sonny?” Jason envisioned what Sonny would do to Ash, especially after last nights interview.

“No, actually he’s gonna live because of Sonny,” Clay responded.

“That surprises me, on my way.”

When Jason got there though, the scene before him isn’t what he anticipated. Sonny was laid out on his back with Clay on his knees next to him patting him on the cheek. 

“Come on Son, wake up, talk to me,” Clay pleaded as the doctor flashed his pen light in each of Sonny’s eyes.

“He has a concussion, but I’m afraid he may have a brain bleed. He needs to be scanned immediately.” 

The doctor ran down the broken up hall and grabbed a back board. Between himself, Jason and the Physical Therapist, they’d be able to carry Sonny to the part of the hospital that wasn’t affected by the boiler explosion.

“He needs an MRI stat,” the doctor told the staff, who then stayed with Sonny while the therapist and Jason went back to Ash. Clay had been sitting with his ‘dad’ while Sonny was taken to get treatment. The therapist and Jason each took one leg and one arm getting Ash between them. He had woken back up after the physical therapist hit him with some morphine from the PT room and was able to hold on around each mans neck. He was still in pain, but he didn’t want to be laying in rubble any longer. Once Ash was dropped off to be checked over, and a fierce glare by Jason, he took Clay to go sit and wait on news about Sonny.

2 hours later, a doctor came out from behind the doors marked Medical Staff Only. Clay and Jason got to their feet, Clay a little slower than his team leader. Clay didn’t have time to stretch from PT so his muscles had begun to tighten up. 

“Mr. Quinn’s cuts on his arm, trap and head have been stitched. He was hit in the head by rubble giving him a concussion. It also caused a brain bleed.”

Clay felt like he had been punched in the gut as Jason demanded to know what that meant.

“For now, we will keep him sedated and hope the bleed stops. If it doesn’t, then we will need to do surgery,”

“Surgery? On his brain?” Clay managed to force out when he caught his breath.

“Sort of, but yes, that’s basically what will be done.”

‘If it stops then he wakes up?” Jason asked.

“If the bleeding stops, we will wean him off the sedation. If the bleed continues, we will keep him sedated until we take him to surgery. A bleed like this can take 24-36 hours to resolve, if it’s going to, so the next day, day and a half are critical.”

“How is Ash, the man that was with him?” Jason asked.

“He would be dead, to put it bluntly, had Mr. Quinn not done all that he had for him. He owes his life to him. Mr. Spenser did ask if he could talk with the two of you, said you might be reluctant but to tell you its about a book he’s writing.”

Jason and Clay looked at each other as they started towards Ash’s room. So many thoughts were swirling through their heads. Jason wondered how he was going to be able to keep from pummeling Ash, despite his injuries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What does Ash want to talk about? Will Sonny's bleed stop or will he need surgery? Plenty of clay/Sonny time coming up in next chapter


	14. The Book and the Bleed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash asks to speak to Jason and Clay, Sonny's condition changes

Chapter 14: The Book and the Bleed

“I’m sure you’ve heard about the interview by now,” Ash said, eyes down.

“We were all watching it, to hear about Swanny and the campaign you wanted to start, but you just used it for your own self promotion,” Clay scoffed, kicking himself that he had just started to let his dad be in his life by reaching out to him regarding Swanny.

“That’s not what I intended, she asked about the next book.”

“So, what? You couldn’t lie?” Clay asked, his glare burning into his father.

“Clay, can I speak with Master Chief alone please?”

Clay looked to Jason before he decided. The nod gave Clay the approval to step outside as well as making Ash realize Jason had assumed his role as father figure.

“You know, you and I are a lot alike,” Ash began.

“We are nothing alike, I don’t sell out my brothers-“

Ash cut him off. “I’m not talking about our brothers, or the job we do. As fathers we are alike.”

Jason wanted to punch him for insinuating, but he was also intrigued with where this conversation was going.

“We both put our career above our family, our children. We both ended up divorced, or on our way to divorce. We miss everything important in our kids lives. Phone rings and we are gone in an instant. See, we are alike.”

“Yeah, maybe my marriage imploded, maybe I do put my career over most things in my life, maybe I do miss important events, but you know what makes us difference Ash? What the two things are that are the most important factors in all of this? My children don’t hate me and I’ve never exploited them for my own gain.” Jason growled. It was making him sick looking at a man who called himself a father.

Ash was speechless, utterly speechless. He honestly thought he and Jason were more alike and he could use that to his advantage somehow, but things didn’t go the way he expected. He thought maybe Jason would agree Clay was being too hard on him, Jason would ask Clay to give Ash another chance.

Jason leveled his temper knowing if he pissed Ash off more than who knows what else will be put in the book. He hated feeling like his balls were in a vice grip, especially Ash’s grip. 

“Why, just tell me why,” Jason asked.

“I’ve seen how hard it is from teammates to be gay and in the Navy.”

“No, not just now, all of it. His entire life.”

“Because I thought I could use the same tactics to raise him as I did to run my team. I thought being tough was love. Because I never wanted him to be a SEAL.”

Jason was dumbfounded. How could Ash have not wanted Clay to be a SEAL? All that he knows from Clay is that Ash would take Clay out to the ocean for a kids version of BUD/S, how to shoot a gun, how to use his body to defend himself, etc.

“I knew what my career was doing to my family, I knew what it had done to so many of my teammates, I knew Clay had a genuinely caring heart, I knew all the horrors I saw, all the torture and killing. I was trying to deter him, teach him how hard it was to become a SEAL and just how hard of a career it could be if he ever wanted a family. I thought he’d go in a different path after I got out and….and wrote…..my books, but he only doubled down. He once told me he wasn’t following my footsteps….he was erasing them.”

“Which he already has done,” Jason responded to Ash.

“I know what you think of me, but I am proud of him, for what he has accomplished. I know it never comes across that way because I always find a way to ruin it, just like with Swanny and the purple heart he deserved. I swear I didn’t know she was going to ask about my book.”

“But you should have assumed she would,” Jason cut Ash off while he glared at him.

“Yeah, yeah I suppose I should have.”

“If you go ahead with this book, if you out your own son who you say you want to get closer to, there is no way he would ever overcome this betrayal. You’d be hurting him, you’d put Eric and I at risk but most of all, you’d be hurting Sonny who is the one person Clay cares about more than anyone. I know you think being gay is a choice, that it has no place especially in the military, but if what you say is true, you have the ability to repair your relationship with your son or completely destroy it.”

Jason turned on his heel and walked out leaving Ash at a loss for words after having things laid out in front of him so completely. As much as he wants to curse Jason, he knows the Master Chief is right. Work the Problem. What’s the problem? Not close to my son. What can I control? My actions. Are your actions helping to solve the problem? No. What do you need to do differently? Change my actions. What does that mean in this moment? Ax the book. At least he wouldn’t have to admit to Jason that he was right though. Even if he hadn’t talked to Jason, he decided while he was stabilized by medical staff that he owed his life to Sonny. He knew Sonny would never expect anything in return, but not blowing up his career he would take. 

Clay walked into Sonny’s room while Jason held him by the elbow so he didn’t collapse. Between his PT, walking across the hospital and dealing with Sonny’s injury, he was starting to wear down. He should have his cane when he gets this tired, but if Clay had even brought it along, it was in the PT room. Jason knew the cane most likely was back at Sonny’s place.

While Clay clung to the bed rails, Jason gathered up a couple chairs and put them next to Sonny’s bed. Clay gratefully took a seat. All he wanted to do was hold Sonny’s hand, kiss his forehead, brush back his hair but he couldn’t do any of it without risk of being seen. He settled for putting one hand on top of Sonny’s as he leaned forward in his chair. Jason stretched out his legs and propped his heels up on the end of the hospital bed while crossing his arms. He watched Clay more than he watched Sonny. 

Clay had his head down, propped up on his free hand as his knee held his elbow. He had closed his eyes as he held onto Sonny’s hand. He didn’t want to see all the tubes and wires protruding from his partner. He was covered from the waist down by a thin sheet, revealing his sculpted upper body. Even sedated and laying in a hospital bed, Clay wanted to be in that bed with him. A thick gauze wrap was around his left bicep hiding the bulging muscle he knew was under there. His left shoulder had gauze taped down over his trap. The stitches were visible on his face from above his left eye all the way down and across his cheek to just below his earlobe. The skin looked red and angry. He had many cuts and abrasions scattered over his body. Sonny had IV and lead lines coming from numerous areas. They were monitoring his heart, his blood pressure, the pressure in his head and who knows what else.

Jason felt sorry for Clay, not being able to show his emotions like heterosexual couples would be able to. Jason got up and closed the curtains and shut the door after he stepped out to guard the room should anyone want to go in. He knew Clay would get the hint, which he did.

Clay stood unsteadily, one hand on the bedrail while using the other hand to brush back Sonny’s hair off his forehead before he leaned down and gave him a kiss. He caressed the non-stitched side of his face with his fingers remarking how soft the skin was on such a weathered body. Clay leaned in and kissed Sonny’s cheek before pressing his forehead to Sonny’s forehead.

“Please Son, please heal, I don’t know if you got hurt from the blast or when you tried to get out to get help, but if this is because Ash needed help…well…..I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. Please Sonny. I don’ think my heart can take it if you need surgery.” 

A stray tear ran down Clay’s cheek that he quickly wiped away. He pressed his lips to Sonny’s cheek again just as Jason cracked the door open.

“Doctor is coming down the hall,” Jason reported. Clay gripped the bed rails with both hands as he lowered himself into his chair.

“We’re good,” he called to Jason, who then opened the door and walked back in. A few seconds later the doctor walked in.

“We need to take him for scans to keep monitoring the bleed. We will have him back in half an hour with an update.” 

The doctor started prepping Sonny to be taken to the scans as two orderlies walked in ready to push the bed out of the room and down the hall. Jason’s phone buzzed and he realized he hadn’t updated the rest of the team. They didn’t know how bad Sonny is. They just knew he had some cuts and probable mild concussion.

“Sonny got worse, brain bleed, observing, may resolve on own, sedated.” 

Jason knew Trent would call as soon as he saw the message. He’d ask a million questions Jason wouldn’t be able to answer and then end up reading Sonny’s entire chart multiple times once he got there. Sure enough, that’s exactly what happened. Ray followed Trent in by just a couple minutes. Brock and Cerb were in training and wouldn’t be able to leave for a few hours. 

Later in the evening, with Sonny back in his room after scans showing no progression of the bleed, a nurse asked Clay and Jason to go see Ash again. Neither wanted to, but Ray was there to sit with Sonny and they both knew they needed to know what Ash’s plan was going to be.

“You aren’t going to…publish the book about Clay and Sonny?” Jason asked incredulously after Ash telling him he was axing the book because Sonny saved his life.

“Don’t forget it included you, too, Jason,” Ash slyly said but regretted it when Jason took another step closer and balled his fists.

“No, No I am not going to publish the book, or anything of the like.”

“And you can’t insinuate that Clay is a source….EVER.” Jason seethed through clenched teeth.

“Okay, Okay. I won’t, I won’t use Clay, I won’t use Sonny being gay or you keeping it a secret.”

“How can we trust you?” Clay asked after staying silent while the other two had been talking.

“Clay, you remember David? He was on the first team that I led.”

Clay nodded, remembering the younger SEAL that his dad had over for dinner a few times.

“I knew a lot about him, things that would have made great material for a book, found out he wasn’t above board like I thought and after that, I quit having him come around. When we were pinned down in some hell hole, David shoved me down and covered me while the grenade he saw being thrown at us exploded. He ended up with serious issues that led to his medical discharge and I walked away. I’ve chosen to keep him out of my books because he saved my life.”

“So you will keep Sonny out and anything related to him?” Jason asked, unsure if he could trust the man before him.

“Yes, I’d tell you that I’d give you my word but I know you won’t take it. I WILL NOT write my book the way I intended, none of you will be linked to it in any way.”

Jason couldn’t stare him down to make sure he was being truthful because the nurse came back in and told Jason and Clay they needed to leave so Ash could be given his meds.

“Do you trust him, Clay?” Jason asked as the two teammates walked back to Sonny’s room together.

“With this? Yeah, I do. My dad doesn’t think I know about David , but I remember him not coming around after he was basically family. When I had the chance to look him up when I became a SEAL, I learned he had been part of a scheme to take gold from overseas, which would have made great drama for a book. I don’t think we have to worry.”

As the two rounded the last corner, it was evident something was going on in Sonny’s room. Ray was standing in the doorway having been pushed back away from the staff. As Clay and Jason got the door, Ray was in a panic.  
“He just started to shake, saying it’s a seizure, rescue meds haven’t worked so far. Jason cleared a path so Clay could get closer. He placed his hand on Sonny’s as he lay on his side. His body was jerking violently, unnaturally. Clay had seen a seizure before, but no one he cared about. What felt like hours but was just a few minutes of chaos before it ended after the third round of meds. More meds meant Sonny would be out longer. Doctor told his staff to get a full scan to check for any internal damage from the seizure, specifically his head.

“What does this mean doc?” Jason asked while the doctor scribbled on Sonny’s chart. 

“It doesn’t mean anything good. It complicates things. We will have a better idea after the scans, but a seizure from a brain bleed presents a whole new host of potential ramifications. Plus with the surgery being so severe it took 3x’s the meds, it may take longer to know if any brain damage is apparent.”

“What do you mean……brain damage? Jason asked looking at the doctor.

He already has a bleeding area in his brain, the violent shaking from the seizure likely would make that worse. A seizure with no brain bleed can still result in damage.

Jason noticed while talking with the doctor that Clay stepped out of the room and walked off down the hall. Ray knew Jason would want to get as much info as he could regarding what could happen so Ray took it upon himself to follow the Kid. This was highly unusual behavior. He’s always there til the last second before he has to be separated from his injured teammate, the first to be on the rotation schedule when someone is hurt. Walking off while Sonny was still in the room was not like him, not like him at all, and that worried Ray.


	15. Beginning of the End?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clay tries to control his emotions while Sonny is in the hospital despite alleviating the stress on him from his dad's proposed book. Emotional chapter for the guys having to open up and understand. Plus Mel gets brought back in this chapter (a tiny bit) so I can start a story with her character and Jason, who has been interested in her since he met her in Texas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mainly emotional "whump." I'm learning the terminology slowly

Chapter 15: Beginning of the End?

“Jay, have you called Mel yet? Let her know what’s going on?” Ray asked his team leader as they watched staff take Sonny for a scan.

“No, she’s been out of state for work the past week and not due back for another few days,” Jason responded.

“You want me to call her?” Ray asked as he reached for his phone.

“No, I will, you go after the Kid would ya?”

Ray left his phone in his pocket and nodded as he headed out the door so Jason could call Mel in private and he could find Clay. He didn’t have to go far. Ray found him just down the hall sitting on the floor, back against the wall and legs spread out before him. He had a thousand yard stare. Ray slid down the wall and sat next to Clay. He was pissed Clay had left, but he also empathized with him seeing his love in a hospital bed not knowing if he’d be the same man he was when he wakes up. Ray didn’t beat around the bush, small talk wasn’t their style.

“What’s going on and don’t tell me you are fine, because I know you aren’t.” Ray said in his pointed, no nonsense way.

“Ash isn’t going to publish the book, said it’s because Sonny saved his life.”

Ray couldn’t conceal the surprise in his face. Clay’s words and demeanor didn’t match up. Ray patiently waited for Clay to continue. The older man knew that despite being a hardened sailor who has seen the worst of the worst, he still had a vulnerability to him, he still tried to see the good in every situation, he wasn’t jaded like most men who have been the tip of the spear. 

“None of this would have happened if I weren’t around,” Clay bleakly responded, hanging his chin to his chest. Clay looked tired, more tired than usual. He should be looking better as he heals from the bombing. Ray made a mental note to ask Clay if he was overdoing it.

“What do you mean?” Ray asked patiently, his empathy taking over as he sat next to his pathetically dejected teammate who seemed on the verge of cracking, but from what exactly, Ray didn’t know. He figured it was all the stress from his dad’s book, which should now be alleviated.

“If I weren’t on Bravo, Sonny and I would have never gotten together. He would have never been in this hospital waiting for me. He wouldn’t have been mixed up with Ash. He wouldn’t be laying in this hospital bed,” Clay lamented, not wanting to reveal how he felt but he knew Ray would keep asking til he finally told him.

“I guarantee Sonny would tell you that all of this is worth it to be with you.”

“Maybe, but I keep putting him in harms way, only way to avoid anymore is if we aren’t together.”

Ray was shocked at what he was hearing. The possibility of Clay and Sonny ending things had been a topic of discussion for the team but Ray had never imagined it would potentially go down like this.

“Are you sitting here telling me that you are going to leave Sonny when he needs you the most?” Ray couldn’t keep the anger from his voice, switching instantly when he heard what he never thought he’d hear.

“You know I will always be there for my teammates,” Clay bit back as he turned to Ray, angry for what Ray was insinuating.

That’s when Ray saw it. Clay was scared. Not like a kid afraid of a monster under the bed. Not like being pinned down in Jbad. Not like being blown up from a bomb. This was a guttural scared, scared that he feels he needs to end things with Sonny in order to protect him despite how much he loved him compounded by Sonny’s current physical state. 

Clay’s shoulders began to tremble, but he didn’t want Ray to see him weak, weaker than he already was. He stood up, slowly, as his leg was starting to tire. He commanded himself to stop shaking as he began to walk away. Ray reached out to grab Clay’s arm to get him to stop. 

“Let me go Ray, I can’t do this now.”

“I’m not leaving you alone, you aren’t in a good place. Let’s go back and sit in Sonny’s room, wait for the doctors,” Ray countered.

Clay’s pale cheeks flushed red as he pulled away from Ray’s grip, stumbling a bit from the shifting of his weight on his legs but was able to steady himself against the wall.

“Ray, I’m not going to tell you again,” Clay snapped. He was only seconds away from a meltdown. He NEEDED Ray to back off.

“Alright brother, alright,” Ray put his hands up and took a step back. As much as he wanted to push, he also didn’t want to embarrass Clay by riling him up even more in a public area.

“I’m going to my cage,” Clay stated before he turned to walk away knowing Jason would be pissed if he didn’t know where he was. He still keeps Clay on a short leash regarding his whereabouts even when home. 

Clay did his best not to limp as he walked down the hallway. His leg hurt, his heart hurt, his head hurt, his stomach hurt. He ran into Trent as he walked out the door, but barely acknowledged his presence. Trent could see Ray down the hallway just shake his head towards Clay, so Trent left him alone. 

Once Trent got to Sonny’s room, sans Sonny, Trent asked, ‘What’s up with the Kid?” before even asking about Sonny. He’d been updated via phone by Jason before Jason called Mel, who he was on the phone with when Trent walked in. Trent apologized but Jason waved him in to stay while he finished up his call.

“Mel can’t get a flight home til morning. She looked into renting a car but she’d barely get home sooner than if she flew, I know she won’t sleep either way, but I’d hate for her to be on the road at night this emotional.”

“How is she?” Trent asked, genuinely concerned. 

She was Sonny’s best friend, thus making her family. He knew Jason had a thing for her and it seemed reciprocal but neither had acted on it given all that has gone on since she arrived in VA, especially the reason why she ended up leaving Texas to begin with.

“I don’t know,” He answered honestly. “She acts so damn tough, but she’s been through hell and back more times than most, never seems like life gives her a break. We, as SEALs, expect things to blow up in our lives from time to time, literally and figuratively, but from the sounds of it, she’s battled through like SEAL would do. I don’t know if that’s good or bad….” Jason trailed off. Trent noticed the change in his tone as he continued speaking about Mel, more vulnerable than he’d ever heard his team leader be.

“I didn’t think I wanted to find someone again….not anything serious at least…..thought that would be best for the kids especially since I lost Alana long before she ever passed because of my job…..but Mel, she ‘gets’ this lifestyle. She understands our calling. I’m thinking about asking the kids if…if they minded….if I ask her out. Mikey already adores her as she shuttles him to and from practice when I’m not around or my mom can’t be here and I know Emma likes their ‘girl time’ as they call it, gives Emma someone to confide in and ask questions since….well, since Alana isn’t here for her.” Jason nervously had his hands on his hips, bringing his eyes up to meet Trents almost as if asking his approval, asking him if he thought that was a good idea.

“You think you need to talk to Sonny about it too,” Trent stated making it obvious it wasn’t a question but a fact. 

Jason only nodded.

“I think if you want to spend time with her, and she wants to spend time with you, then do it. We all know how fleeting this life can be. If your kids like her, then there is no reason not to pursue her, but I get it…she’s Sonny’s friend and you have a dangerous job, higher risk of injury or death than the accountant down the road or the teacher up the street.”

“You like her?”

“No, Jason, I don’t like her..” Trent started as Jason whipped his head towards Trent with questioning eyes.

“I don’t like her because I have grown to love her just over this short period of time I’ve gotten to know her. She’s family.” Trent let his emotional side take the forefront of the conversation, but he quickly tucked it back away when Ray entered the room.

“You talk to Ray about it?” Trent asked Jason.

“Talk to me about what?” Ray questioned.

“About Mel,” Trent answered for Jason.

Ray turned his attention back to Jason with questioning eyes and asked him about his phone call to Mel while he was tracking down Clay.

“Nothing about the phone call. I just…have been thinking….after I talk with you all…..especially Sonny, I thought I’d ask Mel…out…..on a date.”

Ray just grinned with the “I told you so” face. He had seen this coming since they were in Texas. He still didn’t know how Sonny would respond but he knew Jason would at least ask Sonny about her.

Their conversation was cut short before Ray could respond verbally as the doctor came in.

“The good news is the brain bleed has stopped despite the seizure, but we still can’t be certain there won’t be any sort of deficit once Mr. Quinn wakes up. However, a full recovery is much more likely as we don’t have to perform surgery. I’d say he will start coming around in about 12 hours or so, probably just short bursts for the next 24-36 hours so don’t worry. We will have him back in his room in just a few minutes.”

“Thanks Doc,” Trent said for all 3 men in the room. As soon as the doctor left the room, both Ray and Jason had more questions. They trusted Trent more, even over a doctor.

Trent ushered them out of the room. It was still unknown whether Sonny could hear them so it was better to be safe rather than sorry. Jason kicked himself for having the conversations in the room that he did.

“When the doctor says impairment, what are we talking?” Ray asked first.

Trent ran both hands through his hair before landing them on his hips.

“It could be basically anything. His memory could be impaired. Usually it’s the short term memory, not long term. Sometimes it comes back, sometimes it doesn’t. His speech could be affected. Movements alone could be impaired. Given that it stopped on its’ own and despite a seizure he didn’t need surgery, he’s at a much lower risk for any type of impairment. A guy on Charlie team went through something similar. It took a few days for his short term memory to come back.”

“How far back are we talking?” Jason answered, not sure if he was more relieved or more concerned after hearing from Trent.

“Johnson’s short term memory loss was about 6 months, he didn’t remember several of the last missions, not even the one he was injured in. Like I said though, it came back inside a week.”

Jason patted Trent on the shoulder as he ran a hand over his face before he started using that same hand to rub his thigh, an indication that he felt out of control. When he can’t control an outcome, it leads to rubbing his thigh. It started the night Nate died and unfortunately, Bravo has seen him do it far too often, most often over Clay. Even now, he felt whatever was going on with Clay was more out of his control than Sonny’s condition. 

“Ray, you said Clay was headed to the cages?”

“Yeah, he made it clear he didn’t want me to follow him. I don’t know if I should be sharing this all with everyone, but….Clay said that if he wasn’t around….then this wouldn’t have happened….Sonny wouldn’t be in the hospital….Sonny wouldn’t have been stressed about the book coming out…even as far as saying that Sonny wouldn’t have even been at Clay’s PT if they weren’t together.”

Trents eyes widened in disbelief. “Is he thinking of ending it with Sonny? Leaving the team?” Trent asked, not sure if he wanted the answer.

Ray shrugged his shoulders, not really sure what all was going through the Kid’s mind.

“He’s going to talk to me whether he wants to or not,” Jason stated in his authoritative voice. Ray didn’t even try to talk Jason out of his plan because Jason had made his mind up.

“Don’t be too hard on him. This isn’t just about their relationship and you know how complicated things have always been with his dad,” Trent told Jason as he began to stalk down the hall towards the cages. He was expecting that comment ot have come from Ray so the fact that it came from their medic, he knew he had to take everything in mind if Trent is focused on the emotional side versus physical side of this whole situation. 

Jason wasn’t sure what state Clay would be in, but he knew exactly what he was going to start with. The same question he asked Clay when he and Clay had a talk about deployment and Stella. Man, that seemed like a lifetime ago, now. Clay and Sonny’s relationship feels so right that it’s hard to believe he even dated a woman. Jason steeled himself as he pushed open the door to the cages. He still wasn’t prepared to find Clay throwing things about in his cage with tears streaming down his face and a hitch in his breath. He barely noticed someone had even entered the room. When he finally acknowledged Jason, he kept his back towards his team leader as he hurriedly tried to dry his eyes.

“Clay, we need to talk,” Jason said in a soft tone, one that is usually reserved for dire situations on the battlefield as a wy to encourage a wounded teammate to hold on and stay with them.

“I know,” Clay whispered, barely audible to Jason as Clay took a seat on his foot locker.”

Jason entered the cage and then leaned his back against the chain mesh, looking above Clay to Sonny’s Texas flag to avoid embarrassing Clay as he was sure Clay didn’t want him to see him so emotional.

“You remember what I told you before the first deployment?”

When there was no answer, Jason continued.

“I told you that if you could see your life without Stella then you had to cut her loose. That applies to Sonny too but I know its more complicated because he will be in your life until one of you leaves the teams. That said, things seemed good between you too before Ash got involved. That threat is now neutralized.”

Clay stirred up his courage to talk openly with Jason.

“I know, I can’t hold onto the issue with Ash, because it’s done and over with. I know that. I left the room because….well…because it’s different now. It’s not the same as if someone other than Sonny is in the hospital bed.”

“I’m going to take that knowing you didn’t intend for that statement to come out that way,” Jason softly said knowing that Clay didn’t care as much about his other teammates as he did Sonny. It was just different now as Clay just described.

“I feel like my heart is laying there in the bed, it’s hard to breath when he’s hurt, even more so when it’s my fault,” Clay admitted. “And before you say none of this is my fault, if I weren’t with Sonny, so much of this wouldn’t have happened.”

“I know I can’t change your mind about that, even though I want to. I just ask that you think long and hard about what I asked you. Can you see your life down the road without Sonny in it because if you can’t, you need to get your ass back up there next to his bed for when he wakes up,” Jason sternly told the Kid, bringing his eyes back to Clay staring intently into his sad blue eyes.

Clay just nodded his head then dropped his chin to his chest as he leaned forward to put his elbows on his knees. There was nothing else Jason could say so he left the room to go back to Sonny’s side, all the while thinking that he hoped this conversation wasn’t for nothing given the potential complications of Sonny’s condition. He just sighed as he didn’t know what else to do. He hoped Ash hadn’t started the end of the best team the Navy had ever had, the best men Jason had ever served with, the closest he’s ever allowed himself to get to his teammates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure why the note continues to come up about letting me know if I should explore this idea of Sonny and Clay together since I already have


	16. Only Time Will Tell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team waits to see if Sonny wakes up and if he has any memory impairment as the doctor explained could be possible due to his brain bleed from an explosion at Clay's PT appointment just as he had begun to have it out with Ash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit shorter than some chapters because I wanted to focus solely on what this chapter is about before moving on with the story

Chapter 16: Only Time Will Tell

Jason tabled his concerns over what was going through Clay’s mind regarding his relationship with Sonny as Sonny began to stir. He showed his hazy blue eyes for just a few moments the first time, his forehead furrowed in both confusion and pain. No words came until his third time awake as he asked “What happened?”

“Hit your head when the boilers exploded,” said Jason as if that explained everything.

“Boilers?” sonny asked, clearly confused.

“Yeah, that’s what caused the PT area to crumble,” Jason replied.

Sonny drifted back to sleep before Jason’s worry could ratchet up. The next time Sonny woke back up, Trent and Clay were with Jason in the room. Sonny shook his head a bit as if he was trying to clear his mind. He winced in pain but asked why he was in the PT area. Trent gave both Jason and Clay a look before he spoke.

“You were there to pick up Clay after his appointment,” Trent stated. He was beginning to suspect Sonny’s memory had been impaired. 

“You don’t remember what happened?” Trent asked. 

“I banged me head?” Sonny asked, not fully answering his medic.

Jason stepped up close to the bed, his concern now evident in his facial expressions.

“Sonny, you were trapped from the debris, had to crawl your way out, had you not done what you did, Ash would be dead. You don’t remember that at all?”

“What the hell? Why was I with Ash?” Sonny became angry, wondering why he would have saved the veteran who had no respect for the brotherhood by writing a tell-all book.

Clay stepped forward, knowing that this was a possibility and they just needed to be patient. More times than not, the memory impairment comes back within a few days, but there was still a possibility it may not. He placed his hand on Sonny’s forearm to settle him down. Sonny whipped his head towards the younger man, eyes wide as he pulled his arm away from Clay’s touch.

“Get the hell back! What are you doing?”

Again, Trent, Clay and Jason exchanged looks, confused by why Sonny was acting that way towards Clay. It was apparent his entire memory wasn’t affected, just recent events, but they weren’t sure how far back it extended.

Trent asked again “What is the last thing you remember? Take your time.”

Sonny scrunched up his eyes as he tipped his head back looking at the ceiling. He wanted to succumb to the pull of sleep but he was concerned he couldn’t remember.

“Doc said you had a brain bleed and that sometimes your memory can be a little foggy. Usually doesn’t last,” Jason stated with his hands on his hips. Clay was still looking at Sonny in surprise. While he himself had been questioning their relationship as far as what has all happened to Sonny or could happen to Sonny because of Ash, Trent left to get the doctor. 

“Why’s the Strap here? Why the hell were you in PT?” Sonny asked. 

Clay froze, unable to process what that statement alone met. The last thing Sonny recalled is the first mission Clay went on with Bravo as a translator. As far as Sonny recalls, Clay hasn’t even been drafted by Jason. It was evident Sonny was still confused about how he was mixed up with Ash, but before he could ask anything else, the doctor and Trent were back. The doctor asked the other men to wait outside as he checked his patient over. Within a few minutes the doctor joined the 3 in the hallway as Jason paced, Trent read about loss of memory on an article he found with his phone and Clay sat with his head in his hands and his elbows on his knees, hiding his face as he struggled to make sense of all this and to remind himself that more than likely, Sonny’s memory would come back.

“I don’t want you overloading him with too much information or ask him numerous questions about what he recalls. It will just stress him out. Answer his questions but don’t bombard him. Let him chew on whatever info you do give him before telling him anything else. We need to give it a few days and remind him that this is usually temporary,” the doctor told them after Jason explained how far back Sonny had to go to remember the last thing he thinks happened.

As soon as the doctor left, Clay lifted his head and asked, “Do we tell him about us? He still thinks I’m the strap.” He tried to keep his voice steady but he failed.

“I don’t know, I don’t know….we will figure this out….lets go back in there but we need to remember the doctors advice,” Jason stated, unsure of how to proceed. His hand felt the side of his upper thigh as he rubbed it unconsciously, a behavior that started when Nate died. He did it whenever a situation was out of his control.

Sonny was asleep again when they entered the room. Trent suggested that Clay stay back, even though he knew how much it was hurting the Kid.

“He knows us, trusts us, need to keep him calm.” Jason told Clay.

Clay sat on the uncomfortable recliner across the room from Sonny’s bed, out of line of sight should Sonny wake back up. His eyes grew misty as he told himself to keep it together, that this was surely just temporary he hoped, but a few tears slipped out. If Trent and Jason had noticed, they didn’t say anything. 

Jason had his arms crossed and his legs spread out in front of him, crossed as well at the ankles, as he sat in the plastic contraption the hospital called a chair. He had yet to find a hospital chair that was comfy, or at least didn’t make him want to stand, given how many times he has been in hospitals. Trent went back to intently reading his screen as he also cross checked Sonny’s medical chart. Trent was in his zone.

Later in the day, Ray sat with Sonny. He had been informed of the situation. He saw how hard it was for Clay to leave the room, barely saying a word. Jason told Ray he’d keep an eye on Clay after seeing the concern in his #2’s eyes.

“Did that Spenser kid kill the HVT?” Sonny’s throat was dry as he tried to talk, but refused a drink when offered to him by Ray. He fumbled with the straw but eventually was able to down the water.

Sonny asked the same questions again as if he thought Ray didn’t hear him, wondering if maybe his recollection isn’t what actually happened. Maybe it was a dream?

“yeah, he did. Got him before he could clack off his S Vest.”

Sonny thought over the bit of info and then asked another question.

“When did we get back from that mission?”

Ray was unsure of what to say. His heart raced as he looked down at the floor, avoiding Sonny’s questioning eyes.

“Ray, you gotta tell me. I know I’m not remembering things like I should be.”

“Doctor said it may take a bit of time but it should come back,” Ray answered as he tried to dodge Sonny’s question.

“Raymond Perry, if this were you, wouldn’t you want to know?” Sonny rarely called him by his first name like that, noting how desperate Sonny was for answers.

“That op was a while ago, we’ve had some more missions since then. Clay’s been going with us.”

“We need an interpretor that often? He’s still finishing up on Green Team.”

Ray took a deep breath and sought the right words to say without overwhelming his teammate.

“Sonny, that op was over a year ago. We drafted Clay.”

Sonny’s eyes widened again as felt around for his call light. He wasn’t sure if it was his physical injury causing his head to explode or if it was what Ray just told him. Ray realized from Sonny’s grimace that the man was still in pain. He’d suffered serious injuries. Ray stepped away from the bed so the nurse could administer pain medicine. Sonny was back asleep before the nurse had even left the room. Ray sighed and called Jason as he stepped out into the hallway. He left the door open so he could have eyes on the injured man. He relayed the info to his team leader.

“You had to tell him Ray. I would have done the same thing,” Jason reassured his #2.

“Did you say anything about him and Clay…being together?” Jason asked next.

“No, I did not. Just told him we drafted Clay, nothing more.”

“I’m on my way,” Jason told Ray as he grabbed his keys off the table and headed for his truck.

The next day, Clay had been left in the room with Sonny as Trent went to talk to the doctor. Sonny had been sleeping the entire time he’d been there so far, but of course he had to wake up at that very moment. Clay had been watching him sleep peacefully wanting to be in bed next to him. His heart yearned for his touch, his smile, his love.

“So, Clay, you got drafted by Bravo then huh?” Sonny asked with his Texas drawl.

“yeah, I did,” was all the younger man said.

“So….how’s it going?” Sonny felt awkward asking but he didn’t know when or even if his memory would come back.

“it’s been going fine, glad to be on a team,” Clay responded, his heart in his throat as he answered Sonny. All he wanted to do is comfort his man. It wouldn’t—couldn’t—be much as their relationship wasn’t public knowledge.

“I meant….how are ‘we’ getting along?” 

Clay had no answer as his mind raced, wondering if Sonny was starting to remember, but his hopes were dashed as Sonny continued.

“I know I gave you a hard time on that first mission, hope I haven’t been too much of a dick since you joined us,” Sonny stated, half joking and half serious. He wasn’t sure how he really felt about this all. It sucked, he thought, but Trent was encouraged he’d be fine.

“no….uh…um…we’ve been cool. We uh….had our differences…like everyone does…but we are…good.” 

The words pained Clay’s heart. If Sonny never remembered, he wouldn’t be able to recall their entire relationship. He wouldn’t remember Texas, actually dying in the submarine, the bombing in Manila. ‘Does he even know that I’m gay?’ Clay wondered. There’s no way he figured it out if he barely remembers the first mission Clay thought. Would they fall back in love if his memories didn’t come back? Would Sonny even act on his feelings? Would Sonny still want to be with him? It was a lot to think about. He knew in that instant that he couldn’t abandon Sonny in his time of need. He took it to heart what Jason had told him. He honestly couldn’t imagine his life without Sonny when Jason asked him, but now it could actually happen. He had felt sorry for himself when he talked to his team leader. He was having himself a pity party wondering why everyone around him had to suffer, but he snapped out of it when sonny had his seizure as the panic of losing him again set in. He had no doubt that he wanted to be with Sonny, but would Sonny want to be with him?

Only time will tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unsure how to get the comment below about letting me know if I should continue deleted, I had typed that after first chapter only.


	17. Sonny Goes Home, Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny is released from the hospital following the explosion and tries to remember what he hasn't been able

Chapter 17: Sonny Goes Home, Again

“He recognized me, right after the explosion. He found me, along with two others. His memory was fine,” Clay told Trent after finding out that Sonny was being discharged 4 days after the explosion that injured him. His facial cut had started to heal as well as his shoulder. He still had a headache but nowhere near as bad as when he first woke up.

“The bleed must have worsened the longer he went without getting checked out.” 

Trent knew Clay was frustrated by the situation and it was only going to get worse now that Sonny was heading home. Sonny still hadn’t recovered his short term memory and he hadn’t been told yet that he and Clay were in a relationship. The doctor had told them that they needed to tell Sonny at this point so he’d be less confused when he did get home. The team had talked about taking him to someone else’s place, but since the rest of the team, minus Clay, could be spun up at any moment, having Mel around to watch him was the best option.

Mel didn’t tell Sonny about what exactly led her to coming to VA, but he was aware she was living with him now. There was no need to rile him up over the reason. It had taken her quite a while the first time to convince Sonny not to go after Todd.

Clay walked into Sonny’s hospital room. Sonny was perched on the edge of his bed, raring to get out of there. Mel had brought him clean clothes so he didn’t have to put back on the dirty and bloody clothes from the explosion. Mel was already sitting next to him on the bed. Clay took a deep breath as he sat in the open chair still unsure of what to say exactly.

“Sonny, when you go home, you are going to find some of my things there,” Clay started as Sonny interrupted him.

“You live with me too?” Sonny asked, not sure if he could take any more surprises.

‘Not exactly. I have my own place but I stay at yours quite a bit. You see…..um….well…I went to Texas with you, whole team actually did, to meet your family.”

“Why did we do that?”

“We wanted to honor Marcus with you and Mel,” Clay told Sonny.

“How do you know about Marcus?” Sonny asked in a biting tone, displeased with how this conversation was already going. He was getting more confused by the second.

“Jason told me. Long story short, we went to Texas to do a class at Fort Hood so you could be in TX over May 5. You had invited me to go along with you, but Blackburn couldn’t get us the time off, so he and Jason went to Harrington with the idea to instruct Rangers on what we do. But….uh…before, when Jason was telling me about Marcus, I told him that I too….that I too…” Clay trailed off. Mel could see Clay go through every emotion in just seconds as he struggled to tell Sonny the most private part of his entire life for the first time since Sonny had figured it out after Clay had been drafted. Sonny was hanging onto every word trying to figure out what they were trying to tell him. Mel picked up where Clay had left off.

“Clay told Jason that he too is gay. It became apparent that you were the only one who had figured that out though.”

“What exactly are you trying to tell me? Why would it matter if Clay was gay?” Sonny asked, frustrated once again by his lack of memory. He turned his eyes to Clay who looked devastated. If he hadn’t been so confused, he would have felt sorry for the Kid.

“I thought you told me we were good, did I really say or do something to be a dick?” Sonny asked as he studied Clay.

“No, Sonny, it’s quite the opposite actually,” Mel answered as Sonny now bounced his eyes back and forth between the two.

Clay cleared his throat as he told Sonny what they had been dancing around for days.

“You and I are together, like in a relationship. You told me in Texas, that’s why you wanted me to go with you. That’s why I’ve been staying at your place some.”

Sonny continued to stare at Clay, brows furrowed as he tried to understand what was just said. Sonny ran both hands through his hair but winced when his fingers found the bump that created the brain bleed.

“So, you are telling me….let me get this straight….you are telling me that we drafted you to Bravo, I figured out you were gay, I asked you to be with me and we’ve been together ever since?” Sonny couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. All he could remember about Clay was that he was a cocky, arrogant shit who he thought took advantage of his dads’ success as a SEAL despite Ash’s PNG.

Clay nodded and then leaned over placing his forearms on his thighs and hung his head as he looked at the floor.

“That’s why I was getting you from PT, huh? What happened to you? Why was your dad with me?”

Mel answered again for Clay as he continued to stare at the floor.

“Clay was injured pretty bad while you were all in Manila. He’s rehabbing so he can get back to operational status. His dad figured out the two of you were together and was going to put it in his book. You were confronting him about it when the boilers exploded. You saved Ash’s life so he has agreed not to divulge what he had discovered.”

It was clear that Sonny was overwhelmed despite trying to give him just the bare minimum so he had an idea of what was going on. Clay excused himself from the room, but Mel followed him to give Sonny some time to think. She was more worried about Clay. 

Mel found Clay around the corner, sitting against the wall with his legs pulled up and his forehead resting on his knees as he wrapped his arms around himself. She slid down the wall and took up a similar position. She put one hand on the back of his shoulder while she sat silently. She could feel Clay’s distressed breathing and the shakiness in his voice as he tried to tell her he was fine when she asked. 

“It’s only been a few days. Maybe when he gets home around familiar things it will help spark his memory.” Clay hoped beyond hope that that was true.

By the time Sonny had been home for almost a week, he still hadn’t remembered a thing. Clay had been staying at his own place most of the time because Sonny made it apparent he wasn’t ready to talk more about them. Both were holding out hope that this was only temporary, but Sonny had completely closed himself off being even more tight-lipped about his ‘feels’ as he called them. 

The team had been spun up two days ago and were an hour from landing on the tarmac so Mel put together a dinner for all the guys as she knows SEALs are always hungry. She remembers her brother, Marcus, complaining about his grocery bill. Mel had invited Clay to come over even though there was obvious tension between Sonny and him as neither knew what was going to happen between them. He arrived before the team had landed so he took up a seat in the living room at the opposite end of the couch from Sonny. Clay was surprised when Sonny started asking him questions.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but how did I go from thinking you were an arrogant, cocky SEAL I wasn’t sure was right for the team to this….to all of this…I mean, I obviously had to get to know you. I had to let you in somehow. When did all this happen? How did this all happen?”

“Whoa there cowboy,” Mel told Sonny as she finished getting the dishes out for dinner. “One question at a time.”

“Okay, one question. How the hell did I get to liking you?”

Clay thought that was such a loaded question for a single answer that he needed a moment to respond.

Sonny seemed to take an interest in the answers to his questions but it was also evident he was still overwhelmed. It took the better part of the hour before the team got there to explain more about what has gone on since Clay was the Strap with the team. Sonny kept watching Clay, even when Mel was speaking. His intense gaze, his eyes searching for any sort of reminder that could lead him back to where he was in life prior to the boiler explosion. A few times, Sonny felt his eyes get misty, but was able to hold back his emotions. When the team got to the house, Sonny was back to being the guy he is around his team. He wasn’t watching Clay anymore, but Clay was okay with that. He felt like he had a hole burned through him from Sonny’s intense blue eyes.

After dinner, Clay looked out the small window in Sonny’s kitchen, his weight in his palms on the edge of the sink. His knuckles were turning white from his tight grip. The others had already come and gone and the 3 were just cleaning up. Clay asked Mel if there was anything he could do for her before he left. Sonny told him he could stay since Clay was taking Sonny to the doctors the next morning, so he did. Sonny noticed the death grip on his counter so he redirected Clay to the news he had on the tv, which worked.

Sonny’s memories didn’t come back all at once like everyone had hoped. He wasn’t sure if what he ‘remembered’ was real or not. He sought out Jason most of the time to confirm the events, but the night of the dinner at his place, he had his first nightmare which awoke both Clay and Mel. Mel had already gone to bed, but Clay had stayed over since he had to take Sonny to a doctors appointment the next morning. Clay had been settled on the couch watching the news channel when he heard Sonny shout for him.

“Clay! Clay! Come on!”

Clay could hear the desperation in his voice, the begging and pleading evident. He was on his feet and in Sonny’s room within seconds. Sonny was all twisted up in his sheets, eyes closed. Clay had thought Sonny was awake calling him, but he was in the throes of a nightmare. Of what, he didn’t know. He carefully maneuvered his way to the side of the bed and shook Sonny’s shoulder telling him it was okay and to wake up.

“Come on, Clay! Breathe. Stay with us!” Sonny shouted loud enough for Mel to come running, but Clay waved her off telling her that he needed to handle this. He knew exactly what Sonny was dreaming about, the bombing in Manila. Of all memories his brain could bring back, it chose one of the absolute worst events in their short history together. It took several shoulder shakes to get him out of his nightmare. Even then, Sonny’s eyes were wild with fear as he reached out to touch Clays arm making sure he wasn’t a figment of his imagination.

Sonny knew that Clay had been injured in the bombing, but he didn’t remember how or the severity as it had been quite some time ago and he was towards the end of his rehab. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the details, but alas, asking questions and revealing what had been brought forth to his mind was the only way to know what happened and what didn’t.

“Manila, the bombing, we weren’t on duty right?”

Clay confirmed they had just been out drinking in a bar. He told Sonny that he had stepped outside to make a phone call when he heard the first blast.

“First blast? You mean there was more than one? What the hell?”

“Yeah, there were two. We were all fine after the first one, but we were out helping some kids when the second bomb went off. It was under a truck I was nearby.” As much as Clay didn’t want to think about the moment that nearly took his life, he let Sonny ask more questions.

“I found you first, or at least I think I did. All the team came and helped. How did I get to the hospital?”  
By the end of the conversation it became clear that Sonny remembered the overall gist of what happened in Manila, but he was still fuzzy on details.

“You have an appointment in a few hours, better get some sleep,” Clay told Sonny knowing that being rested was better for recovering. Sonny nodded in agreement, but as Clay was just about to walk out the door, Sonny asked him one more question.

“Hey, uh, Clay, would you maybe, uh…..leave the door open….or maybe just stay…in here…with me?” Sonny asked quietly, not wanting to show vulnerability, but needing to. He needed to see that Clay really was okay if he had the same nightmare. Sonny wasn’t scared per say, it was more about having Clay right there to pull Sonny back to reality quicker. Even though Mel had offered to sleep in Sonny’s room a few times as he healed, Sonny wouldn’t let her. He couldn’t guarantee that in his current condition that he wouldn’t be combative. She liked when Clay was around because she felt Sonny responded to him the best even though things are still so mixed up.

“Yeah, sure…of course…Let me go get my pillow from the couch.”

“It’s okay, you can have the extra one on the bed here,” Sonny said as he patted the pillow on the other side of his mattress.

When Clay grabbed the pillow and tossed it on the floor, Sonny told him that he needed to sleep in the bed for his own sake. He didn’t want Clay setting back his own PT by laying on the hard floor. Clay obliged but stayed on top of the covers. Sonny didn’t want to push it, so he tossed the comforter off him to cover Clay while he still had a sheet and blanket to keep him warm. If memories were coming back, he hoped it would include his relationship with Clay. That is the hardest part of this entire ordeal. He knows he means something to the Kid, knows the Kid means something to him, but he just can’t remember.

Mel woke the two when she realized they were both still sleeping when her alarm went off. They had to leave in less than an hour. She was shocked to find the two in the same bed, but she figured that Sonny must have remembered. She was disappointed when he had only remembered some of the events in Manila. However it became apparent that his memory loss seems to only be temporary as bits and pieces come back. The doctor was encouraged, but still cautious not wanting to get everyone’s hopes up that he would remember everything.

Sonny had started to recall moments when the two were together, like the drive to his Ma’s house from Fort Hood. He thought there had been a kiss, but he was afraid he was just creating false memories because he knew the two should be together. The next thing he remembered was being at Clay’s side after the bombing, not wanting to go back to Manila but he had to. He continued to keep this from everyone until he felt something more for Clay than being teammates. He didn’t have to wait too long though before sharing this all with Clay.

Clay had been standing in the kitchen, hunched over his phone trying to figure out where he went wrong with whatever he was preparing for lunch. Sonny deftly walked to the kitchen as Clay’s back was towards him. Sonny reached his arms around Clay’s waist and pulled him back into some sort of a backwards hug. Clay turned around and looked into Sonny’s eyes. Clay’s blue eyes mirrored Sonny’s delicate blues. 

Sonny reached up with his right hand as he thumbed away the single tear that had escaped down Clays cheek. Sonny took his left hand and reached around to the back of Clay’s neck to pull him closer to him. Now they were chest to chest. Sonny could feel Clay trembling with anxiousness. Clay didn’t know if Sonny remembered more or if he’s just trying to see if being intimate will stir up his memories. As Sonny leaned in, Clay put his hands on Sonny’s hips, all in if Sonny was. The simple and quick kiss reminded Clay of the first time the two had kissed in the vehicle on the way to his Ma’s house.

“I remember more, maybe not all, but a lot…I think. I uh, remember…when I got hurt when I was separated from the team….you took care of me. You went with me to TX to get Mel’s things and were at the bar when that jerk Todd came in. We,uh…well we slept together. I also remember…..the first time….the first time we said I love you to each other.” Sonny told Clay as his own eyes were now misty. He feels horrible that Clay had to go through this, but he’d try to find a way to make up for it, even though Clay would never expect that.

“You think your good? Like have…..feelings…for me?”

Sonny didn’t answer verbally; he just pulled Clay back to him for another kiss. This one was held longer and both were breathless when they pulled away. Clay let out a hitched breath, not sure if he could trust his voice to be steady.

“I’ve missed you. Made me realize that you mean even more than I thought possible to me.”

“I’m sor..” Sonny started, but Clay interrupted.

“This wasn’t your fault, nothing you could have done. I’m just glad you are back….we better call the team.”

“We can call them later. We’ve got the place to ourselves right now.” Sonny drawled while he spread his arms out motioning around his place. “Shouldn’t let that go to waste now, huh?”

The genuine smile from Clay was the first he had seen since he had woken up after his brain bleed. He hadn’t realized just how much he missed seeing him smile while his blue eyes dance in delight. 

“What should we do Cowboy?”

“You got any ideas, Covergirl? Or wait, Peter Pan. Oh, maybe Mr. GQ. Haven’t called you by anything other than the Strap. 

The two looked at each other before moving on to whatever they eventually would decide to do. Clay could see Sonny, his Sonny, looking back at him. Sonny could feel the emotions for Clay he didn’t have since ending up in the hospital. They both hoped something like this would never happen again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the last chapter for this storyline. Nowhere else to go with it. I hope all who read this story enjoyed it, let me know good or bad, only way to get better. I discovered I like the combat more than the whump.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if I should continue, not sure how receptive some may be to this story line. Will take all the feedback, good and bad, that I can get


End file.
